Dream, Predict, Plan... The Day My Sister Gets Married

You dream about this day since you were a tiny little girl.  You wonder if you know the man you'll end up marrying, if he is right beside you the entire time, if you go to the same high school, or if it's a complete stranger.  You plan your wedding years before it's actually time.

and then you blink.

It's here.

Casie is the best sister and friend I could ever ask for.  The Lord knew exactly what He was doing when He made us sisters.

It's hard to put in words all that my sister means to me.  I wish I could really express it to you, but I can't.

Although she is younger than me, I look up to her in many ways.

She has a smile that lights up any room.  She has been the person I go to in any situation.  She is the best listener and has never once made me feel judged - even if it's a silly doubt that most people get annoyed with, laugh at, or even roll their eyes at... she is patient with me and acts as if she understands.  She.Is.There.

She is a true friend who will get up in the middle of the night if you need her.  I've seen it countless times when friends call her in the late night/early morning hours in a crisis cause they don't know who else to call.

She cries with me when I need to cry.  She listens when I need to vent.  She prays for me when I can't pray for myself.

She is my best friend.

Jordan is marrying one of the most genuine people i've ever met.  She doesn't pretend to know all the answers or be someone she is not.  She will love him honestly and whole-heartedly, and will always have his back.  He is truly a lucky man.

Casie and I have a prediction wall on the inside of our bathroom cabinet where we make predictions of who each other is going to marry.  It's so fun having a sister :)  When I added mine to the wall I told her, "I WILL BRING THIS OUT AT YOUR WEDDING! Cause mine is right!!"  And I did just that.  I showed it when I gave my Maid of Honor Speech last night.

We have known that Jordan and Casie would get married for years and really he is already considered part of our family.  As cliche as it sounds, I truly cannot picture her with anyone else.

While i'm so not ready for her to move out and will miss her even though she is only ten minutes away.... I love them both and am truly happy for them.

Jordan, thank you for loving my sister!

And Casie,  YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!

A Change Gon' Come

It's as if the Lord decided I needed change in my life.

Notice I didn't say A change because that would imply that one thing in my life is changing.  No, friends, nearly every thing in my life is changing.

I recently got a job in a new district teaching Kindergarten (a new grade).  That obviously means a whole lot of new.  New friends, new students, new school, new classroom and furniture, new procedures and routines, new, new, new.  I know one person going into this year... and that is a bit frightening. 

But apparently i'm about to get over that real quick ha :)


 If you are friends with me on facebook you are very aware, probably more than you'd like to be, that my younger sister is getting married in four short days.  And about two weeks ago I finally realized that we are facing the first big "season change"...

I seriously bawled my stinkin' eyes out when I wrote my Maid Of Honor Novel, I mean speech, because it finally hit me - We are no longer in our "childhood".  We are officially grown up and will never live together again.  My sister is moving out, never to occupy the room next to me ever again.  We will never share a bathroom and cry and laugh and vent while the other uses the restroom or bathes.  When I stay out late at Mark's I won't come home to the lamp on so that I can see walking up the stairs.

so. much. change.

I think I cried all of my tears this past weekend so that hopefully I won't ruin the wedding with the ugly cry.

Please do not misunderstand me!  I am so very happy for my sister and know that this is the right time and completely God's will.  It's just going to be a big change... a part of life that we have just reached.  And i'm clinging to Jesus every step of the way.  I've always heard about getting older and embracing the joys in the different seasons of life.  It's a completely different thing to actually be standing at the door to said season.

And so I anxiously wait to see all that God does in these short weeks and all the many changes.

Our week is busy and full.... we would love your prayers as we squeeze in every moment of our time together :)

Love you all!

lately.

I'm not going to apologize for being a terrible blogger because it annoys me when people do that in.every.post.  We all get busy in different seasons of our lives and the posts slow way down. 

That is my life right now.

My sister gets married in less than three weeks and the "last weeks frantic-ness" has completely set in.  We got all her pictures edited, picked out, sized, printed, and put in frames. 

thank.good.ness. 

Totally breathed a whole heck of a lot easier when that was done.

My next job was to create invitations for one of her showers that the bridesmaids are hosting.  Did that last week (about a week later than I wanted), addressed the envelopes and sent them out.  Speaking of - we are so past the days of RSVP's.... many people have told me they got them and are coming, but zero have actually RSVP'ed. 

 Anyways, moving on.

The activities/food/games for the party are mentally prepared, but I haven't had a chance to actually gather all the items needed.  That's the next step.

On top of that, i'm helping decorate their new house.  Which is so very exciting, but again "'can I have more hours in my days?"

My weekends are full of showers where I sit in a chair, next to my sister, with my cute notebook and write out "Givers and Gifts" for thank you notes.  I smile for the camera while jokingly saying, "Maid of Honor Duties!!"

Maid.Of.Honor.Duties.

I never knew how time-consuming it was actually going to be.  I love my sister more than anything and love that I can help so much.  Truly... it's nice to be needed some times  :)

The stressful issue right now:  school.

With all this other going on, not to mention waiting to hear interview final results, I haven't been able to work in my room.  I went for the first time last week, took pictures, and then came home to layout my classroom on paper. 

I've tried three times to figure out the placement of my furniture and just stare at the paper.  I've never had a hard time arranging furniture and laying out a room.  It's like one of my favorite things.  But this one has got me.  So like every stressed out girl does.... I cried.

There is just a lot of change in my life and it's getting close to the weeks where it's actually going to affect me.  Losing a sister, gaining a brother.  Getting used to not sharing a bathroom, helping her pick out her clothes, doing her hair, and all the other that comes from our super close relationship.  Being the only one on this side of the hall upstairs.  Moving schools.  Moving rooms.  Moving Grades.  Making new friends (which I don't do well).

It's all too much. lol

It sure helps to write it all out though doesn't it?

God is good.
He is for me.
He is with me. every. step. of the way.

Sorgee Family

Doesn't this picture look like one of those posters?  You know, the ones with the definition below it?  LOVE IT!! Meet Amber and Jason... and their children!!  Jason is Mark's brother and my first to shoot at this new location a friend told me about!  I'm posting a few favorites from their shoot over on my Photography Blog!  Click here to read the post!

Summer Agenda

School is officially out and I have so much that I want, and plan, to do over my summer weeks.

work.

If you are wondering about how the interview went... it went good.  I have semi-good-news.  It's still up in the air and that's makes it so very hard for me to rest mentally.  There are a few things that have to play out and because of that I can't share anything here yet.  I realize that God already knows the outcome, but will you pray for me as I wait for Him to reveal that to me?

Because of that - I have put all of my school projects on hold.  I'm mentally preparing to stay in Marshall, but I just can't prepare anything since nothing is official.

hobby.

My photography "business" has picked up the past few weeks.  I did my sisters bridal portraits; just finished editing them tonight!  We took about 500 pictures and mom, thankfully, narrowed it down to 21 favorites.  That made it so much easier to edit!  Five hundred is a bit overwhelming!!

I did a photoshoot with Mark's brothers family at my favorite location yet!  Have to edit those this week!  And then I have two more shoots planned this summer! 

It is so neat, and encouraging, for me to look back over all my pictures and see how much i've learned.  I plan to organize all of the "office" stuff for my photography this summer so that it saves time when I have shoots during the school year!  When I get married I really want an office to house all my photography stuff - why does that excite me?!

dream.

When I entered college I was a Music Major with a Vocal Scholarship.  I knew that I wanted to sing and that was about it.  Strangely, I never felt secure with that degree.  What would I do with it?  My biggest dream is to lead worship, but I don't need a piece of paper to do that.  So after two years I switched majors.

I always kind of felt that the Lord would open that door eventually.  And He has... in what some would consider small ways, but so very big for me.  To me it doesn't matter the venue, I just love worship!

I lead worship for a women's event back in November and now I am leading worship every Monday night for The Landing; the youth section of Celebrate Recovery - a program to help people overcome hurts, habits, and hang ups.  And that seemed like a huge run-on. 

So the agenda... I am incharge of designing a shirt, helping with publicity, and then of course, worship.  I'm hoping to plan a few weeks in advance (kind of as a spring-board of ideas for the future) and save them, again, to help when the school year starts again. 

relationship.

and then my sweet man :) 

It's been about four years since I have actually claimed to be in a relationship.  I've gone on dates here and there, but nothing official.  Mark and I have been dating for about 6 months now and I am so thankful for him.  He supports and encourages me like no one else.  He challenges me to be more productive simply by being his normal 30 year old productive self.  He makes me laugh straight from the belly every single time we are together.  And he fits in with my family as if he were already a member. 

So on the agenda for us is to continue to pray for our relationship - to seek the Lord's will and timetable.  We are in the process of reading the bible through and just recently switched Sunday School classes so that we could attend one together. 

There it is... my agenda and life as of now.

Thank You, Lord, for seasons where everything seems to just fit.  I know there are difficult seasons, but I am thankful for seasons of "spring and summer".  Thank You for holding my life in Your hands... for carrying out Your plans for me.  I have waited many years for some of these dreams to play out and I am so thankful for learning about You each step of the way.  I wouldn't change any of it!  You are good!  Be with the outcome of school for next year - You know my desire, but I trust Your plan.  Be with CR and all the students who walk through those doors.  Continue to guide Mark and I - we want You to be the center and foundation for our relationship!  We can't do it without You!  I love you so very much! In the specific, powerful name of Jesus.

Bittersweet.

Well, it's official...

I have an interview tomorrow.  At 1:45 to be exact.  Which is a way random time if you ask me.  Why not like 1:30 or 2:00 to even it out?

But really that's besides the point because.... I HAVE AN INTERVIEW!

I am so stinkin' excited!!!

There is a little piece of me that never saw this coming and never thought it would actually happen and so the thrill of it actually coming to is just neat-oh!  And now I realize that since i've told you about having an interview you will also hear about whether or not it came through.  Which is also free-ing.  What a way to let go of a little insecurity by blaring your business for all to hear! 

The outcome is in God's hands!  I truly believe and trust that!  I'm just super-pumped about the interview right now!

And before you go blaring anything on my facebook, I would appreciate it if it just stays here on the blog.  I realize this is a public place and any of my fb friends can get this link, but really and truly I don't see that happening.  I think most of my followers that read on a regular basis are non-facebook people.  So check back here if you are wondering about results or anything - instead of asking questions or posting on facebook!  I'd appreciate that mucho!

In my last post I mentioned alot about how my middle name is so not change, but that I prefer to stay nice and comfortable.  Well, i'm realizing that change is good for me.  Change often grabs the hand of Challenge and brings her along also.  And well, who doesn't like a challenge every now and then?

So packing up and moving isn't so much a bad thing for the third time in a row.  Especially when you get a thrill from organizing, decorating, and arranging furniture.  I'll be much more motivated to get things done in my classroom since it's a "new" place.

Oh.... I forgot to tell yall....

This is the sad part about the change.

The other day I was taking down all of my bulletin boards and posters in my classroom so that I could pack away my cute letters my mother made for me.  Those took her hours to make so you best believe i'm re-using them. 

I had a Birthday Graph with all my students birthdays as well as mine and any other support staff at the school. It was very easy for me to rip off their names and throw them in the trash, but when I got to Miss Kilgore and Nurse Kilgore.... almost bawled my eyes out.

You see, mom and I have had the priviledge of working together for the past three years.  A priviledge that i'm going to miss so very much.  I don't need her in order to function at work by any means.  I'm just incredibly blessed to be able to not only live with my mother, sing with my mother, lead worship with my mother, but also work with my mother.  In a world where so many families are ripped apart, I am truly thankful to have such a good relationship with my mom.  Not many people can work with their mother on a daily basis.  I am blessed.

So that is going to be the hardest part of this "new step". 

No more of people getting confused on who to call on the intercom, or who to send the email to, or which box is Nurse Kilgore's and which box is regular Kilgore's.  No more kids asking me if I'm Nurse Kilgore's daughter and why we have the same name.  Speaking of - Mark and I went to a water park this weekend and a parent came up to me and asked, "Are you Nurse Kilgore's daughter?"  See... no more of that.  :(

I enjoy seeing her face every day.  I enjoy sitting with her at lunch.  I enjoy sharing all of my children's successes with her almost instantly after they happen. 

It will be bittersweet.

We are both facing a change.  She is moving also.  So pray for both of us if you don't mind.  Mom as she is being forced to move and learn a new job.  And me as I interview and then figure out where the Lord wants me.

Wednesday. 1:45.

Thanks. And peace :)

Capturing Moments

Here are the links to the three new posts I put up this afternoon...

Twins
Maddox Portraits
Maggie Portraits

Please give any feedback as I always wish to know what others think/want when it comes to my pictures!  It can only help me to get better - which in turn works out better for youuuuu (my "clients")!  Thanks a ton!