Bring in the Green

My grandparents from Mississippi are coming in tomorrow for my brothers graduation. They are spending Friday evening with us. My bedroom is also known as the Guest Bedroom in our house. I always get the boot whenever we have family or friends visiting. Their breif and sudden visit has forced me to complete my bathroom. I guess not forced, but given me enough excuse to do SOMETHING to that wall. So here it is.... i threw it together tonight.

I decided to go ahead and add some lime green in the room. Hopefully it looks descent enough for company. There is a wicker semi-circle laundry basket at Target that i want, but haven't purchased yet. When i do it will go right below that towel holder thing and will occupy that ackward empty space.

I'm not crazy about this wall, but this was all i had to work with for now. And free is always a better option.

Mom got this candle holder at work today - she asked if i could find a use for it sooooo... i did. I scrummaged around the house for these candles. Notice they are burning - i'm trying to get them down to the rim of the container so you can't tell they are all different shapes and sizes. It also helped to bring in some lime green. And once again - FREE! The beads were a Canton purchase - i just wrapped them around the base so that it somewhat toned down the amount of brown in the room. And it added a more feminine look instead of big and chunky.

Yes. That fake floral deal is just sitting right on top of the towel rack.... i didn't know what else to do with it. It was going to be crammed into the cabinet or sitting on the counter, so i just layed it on there. whatev. I need a little green hand towel or something to go here... we'll work on that tomorrow.

Along with "finishing off" the bathroom i was also forced to clean my bedroom. It was needed very badly. It feels good to clean and be busy. If only i can keep it that way.

It

There seems to be this game of TAG going on. Almost every blogger i visit has been IT at one point or another. Last night Kathy tagged me. I am going to finish this now so that i don't have to get back on the computer for a while. I need a break.

Two Names You Go By: Megan and Shmeg

Things You Are Wearing Right Now: blue jeans, grey t-shirt

Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment: to feel wise and mature, and to have peace

Two people who you look up to: James Walker and Angela Thomas

Two things you did last night: Adult Choir practice and watched a defensive driving video with a friend

Two things you ate yesterday: Taco Soup and toasted ham n cheese sandwhich

Two people you last talked to: Brandon and Dr. Johnson

Two Things you're doing tomorrow: cooking and babysitting

Two longest car rides: Texas to Florida, Texas to Chicago

Favorite Holidays : Christmas and Thanksgiving

Favorite Vacations : Disney World

Last trip: Branson this past summer

Two favorite beverages: Dr Pepper, Sweet Tea

Everyone has already been tagged and i know they do not desire to be tagged again.... so it ends here!

Simple Woman

For Today.... Monday, December 8th, 2008

Outside my window... it is dark. I don't think i've ever done a daybook this late.

I am thinking... that computers in general are addictive. I signed back onto my old facebook account (did you know that when you delete your account it doesn't really delete it?) this afternoon to send a messege to a girl at school. I needed to apologize to her and it was the only way i knew to contact her. I couldn't see any fruit coming from facebook so i deleted it back in March - getting back on there today was totally weird.

I am thankful for... my mistakes - only because they are opportunities to learn. Did you know that i'm a terrible babysitter? I make children cry. I don't know if i'm cut out to be a mother :( . Although, i do feel like i got to a childs heart today. I found it - i believe it's the only way to truly discipline someone - find what gets their heart... you'll know when you've hit it. It not only got to him, but it reached mine also - then we bonded. All was well afterwards! We even exchanged hugs!

From the kitchen... the counters are pretty messy, but that's nothing new. The dishwasher was loaded this afternoon, i'm not sure if it's been unloaded yet.

I am wearing... 2005 NCAA National Championship UT t-shirt, black comfy pants, socks, and pony tail.

I am going... to bed in a few minutes. I need to get an early start tomorrow morning so that i can finish my take home final before 4 o' clock. Morning is not my friend. Calling it a struggle would be an understatement.

I am reading... study guide after study guide after study guide.

I am hoping... to pass all my finals (and classes also) and find some kind of job for next semester. Peace - that's more of what i want - to feel like i've made the right decision about what to do next.

I am creating... some gifts for friends.

I am hearing... the tv from down the hallway and my computer hum once again.

Around the house... my parents are sleeping, stacy and brandon are doing who knows what - studying? YEAH RIGHT!

One of my favorite things... feeling strong and capable. I don't get that feeling very often - and that's only my fault. Insecurities stink - especially ones that you never knew existed.

A few plans for the rest of the week... finals, babysit, adult choir rehearsal, and a friend is staying over this weekend - so weird.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you... this is Lauren Talley - you may have heard of The Talley Trio? Last semester we attended their concert and got our picture taken with Lauren!

Mystery Solved!

The Mystery of the Manger was wonderful! I am so impressed with how well it all came together. It went great!!! At one point i had to hold back my tears.... i was so proud of the little autistic kid who very confidently stepped up to do his line during the musical. He knew exactly when it was his turn, would get this huge grin on his face, and point to his chest while whispering, "my line, my line". He did awesome!! Those moments make it all worth it! I literally had to remind myself that i had motions to do or else the kids would be lost... so i immediately brought myself back into the moment and started doing my job once again. I'm sad it's over. It has truly been a highlight of my week. I never thought i would enjoy it this much! Thank you, Lord.

Choreography : Megan (I even got my own little name and title on the program) And i tell you that because of this next story....
A mother of a child that was in the Wee Praise (4-5 year old choir) came up to me after the performance and said this.... wait for it, it's pretty funny!!!
"Kendal, what does Miss Megan do in choir? Does she teach you?"
"No, mom. She doesn't talk. She just uses her hands."
HILARIOUS!! That is too funny! Before i walked away i bent down and asked her what she was in the Manger Scene.... she answered, "An Angel". Then looked at her mother with a big smile - SHE DOES TALK!

I am currently at the library - dad's computer has some kind of sickness... poor thing won't even turn on. He unplugged it when the storm came through a few nights ago so that it wouldn't get electricuted (it's happened before) and now, despite his efforts to be safe and wise, it won't come on at all. WEIRD? So here i sit printing off study guides and powerpoints for the week of finals that lies ahead of me. I have to wait about a minute inbetween each print job..... so since i'm a people watcher i've been using my free time to glance at the hundreds of classmates that walk past me. I don't know any of them - how sad? I'm a senior at this school and i've recognized 4 faces while i've been sitting here. Truly sad. Well, my pages have successfully printed so i am heading out the door.... we'll finish this at home.

I haven't been doing so hot for a while now. I put on a big smiley face at church because i'm tired of feeling selfish and like all i ever talk about are my problems..... but this here is my blog and my place - so i want to be transparent. I want to have the freedom to speak about my insecurities, weaknesses, fears, and just plain ol' stinkin crud. And i also want you to know that i welcome whatever you have to say. I need people in my life who are not going to be afraid to tell me the truth or to let me know that something isn't right. Is that not what we are suppose to do for each other? So i apologize for being ignorant and struggling with the same things over and over.... but please feel free to speak your heart and/or mind.

I read back over a few of my older posts Friday night and got so angry (frustrated, upset, etc) with myself. Over and over i read about these 'changes' that i was supposedly going to make in my life.... how i was going to fight harder than i ever had before and conquer this stuff that is consuming me.... and here i am drowning farther in it than i ever imagined or thought possible. I don't even know how to pray about it anymore.

I've realized over the past few days that i don't think i have much courage or faith in myself. I've never really pursued anything. I've never dreamed about something and thought that i could become it. I've never signed up for a position or job that i really wanted.

Being the choreographer in choir is the first time that i've ever truly done anything..... the first time that i had to get up infront of a group of people (without using my singing voice or my looks, because that's all i ever felt like i had in high school) and teach or somewhat have a job. It was the first time that i really fought my fears in a healthy (productive?) way. I was so nervous about being up infront of those kids and those older women. I'm so not smart enough.... i just feel ignorant infront of these people.... i wasn't even sure if it was where God wanted me when i was asked to help out. But for some odd reason i went for it. I was so afraid of messing up or being lazy or ignorant or whatever that i worked harder than i probably ever have. I pushed all of my insecurities back and got up there and believed that He could use me and i could actually do something. (i'm such a nerd i'm sitting here balling me eyes out) I know this may sound totally self centered, but i am proud of myself. I've been so down and angry with who i am for the longest time now.... but this is one area where i feel like i did my job with everything that i had in me - i just went with whatever came to me knowing that everyone could think it was dumb or totally hate it. I knew that i needed growth and this was a place to start..... and i loved it! I can't express how fun it was for me!

So thank you, Lord, for all that you are doing through this choir - even in my life. Thank you for Cari and how much she means to me. She will never know how much it meant for her to ask me to help. Bless her life Lord. Thank you for Melanie and Becky and all that they do to make choir happen. I lift them up to you this evening. It's so neat to see all of these women with different gifts come together and make something happen. I've enjoyed spending Sunday evenings with them and i can't wait to get to know them more!

We Love You!!!!

Ending the Evening

Levi picked where we would eat tonight - Chili's. He promised to be obedient so i decided to give it a try. My sister came along because... well, i'm sweeter when i have help. It's weird how different one can act just because there is someone else around. What is it? Something mental i suppose.

After dinner we went on an adventure to check out Santa's Workshop. The kids got to make a sled - which meant they got a piece of wood that looked somewhat like a sleigh, four wheels, four nails, and a hammer. I think you get the idea. Hammer in your wheels and you've made yourself a car. Then they had this table where you could (quote, unquote) "paint" your sled (with markers). Both of them decided to pass up on that little opportunity, so here we are with these wonderful wooden sleds.

We came back to the house so the kids could watch Drake and Josh's Christmas movie on Nick. I made cocoa for them to enjoy while watching the show. (really working on this trying to be a sweet babysitter deal) While they were glued to the screen i tried to work through some plans for the opening song on our children's christmas musical. We have rehearsal in the morning and HAVE to get it figured out and nailed down. I'm kind of worried about it, but pretending (and trying) to look like i know what i'm doing. It could be a terrible disaster!

Also, i have worked on making a few changes to my schedule next semester. O, yes i forgot to tell you what "happened" to my transcript this week. When i transferred a lot of my classes from my previous school did not come with me..... well they came, but as electives - not what they really stand for. This is one of the reasons i changed my major. I was going to have to redo a ton of my music classes. You would think 2 colleges that are "sister" schools would be able to transfer courses, but no, it doesn't work that way. When you reach your senior year they send out all these emails telling you to check your degree audit to make sure that EVERY COURSE that you need for GRADUATION has been completed. I had completed everything except for my 39 upper level hours. When the Fall 2008 semester was over i would have 30 upper level hours completed - leaving me (do the math) 9 hours left to take in the Spring.

For some reason i got an email giving me permission to register myself for the upcoming semester. This doesn't happen all the time - it's kind of odd. I've gotten this email before, but never had enough faith to do it myself because i know how colleges can be. Mistakes happen all the time.... you know. I decided to go for it this semester, but had my advisor double check my work.

I checked, checked, checked, and checked over my degree audit many times to make sure i was adding all of my hours up correctly. My advisor looked at my transcript (instead of my degree audit) and said that instead of 9 hours i needed 10 upper level hours. Something about one of my OBU classes not counting full credit.

ANYWAYS - to make the story shorter.... he sent my degree audit and/or transcript to some head person at the school to triple check our work. What happened then?

Somehow mysteriously i now need 12 upper level hours to complete everything for Graduation in May. TWELVE? DO WHAT? I'm just wondering how 2 people missed calculated... i checked, my advisor checked, and we were only an hour off from each other - BUT we were looking at 2 seperate documents - then a HEAD person checks and extra hours get taken away... i don't get it.

Immediately after i got the email i logged onto Campus Connect to see what happened.... and yes, one of my upper level courses had been DELETED or REMOVED - which ever word you prefer. You think i'm lying? I am totally not. This kind of thing happened to my brother and some other people i know - all of us going to the same school. That's the reason i was hesitant about completing my registration on my own.

I don't understand.

I haven't mentioned this to my parents because i don't think it will do any good. I can hear my father now... "I swear. They are after money. That's all they want. That's why i didn't go to school. Too many rules and...."

It's not really a big deal to me (even though i'm blogging about it). I've never been one to get upset about things like this. Ask my dad - growing up he always got so angry because i never stood up for myself - well, i'm doing it again. It takes a lot to get to me angry. I just think it's funny that once again something magically happens right before a student is about to graduate.

Well, i'm about to put the kids to bed so i've gotta go. Hope you have a great evening!

Thank you Father for a productive evening that kept me busy. I love You.

Babysitting this Evening

I have a few minutes before Zoey and Levi get here... i figured i would spend the extra time blogging. We are going to go eat supper somewhere in town and then head to Santa's Workshop. I had never heard of this place before, but appearently it's something fun for kids to do. It's downtown on the square. They get to pick a toy, make it, and then take it home to keep for themselves... all for free. Atleast, this is what i was told.... i wonder if someone missed the small print when they passed this news onto us. We'll see! Hopefully they will behave since it'll be a new unfamilair environment. Fingers Crossed! I'm just not feeling very strong today - I don't know how much i can handle.

I don't think i'm a good babysitter. It makes me realize how important it is to have a mother and father present in a home. You simply can't do it all by yourself. Or atleast i can't - and i'm not even a parent yet. But i also think i'm realizing how little faith i have in myself. I'm not doing so hot emotionally or mentally right now. It's very draining..... i won't share all of that right now.

My Christmas shopping is done! It's seems really really early compared to years past. But i feel relieved to get it out of the way.

Here is my dad's new favorite question for everyone he comes in contact with....

"Guess what Wii are getting for Christmas?"

It's pretty obvious to guess what he has asked for when you see it written down like that. But o so sad for those very lucky people whom he asks in person. Poor things.... they just stare at him dumbfounded and then he preceeds to ask again..... and then they very ackwardly look around at each of us as if we are going to send them a hint. So we tell them that the word 'we' is pretty important and they finally understand! He is so excited about it!! Makes me laugh!

Today was the last day of classes. All i have left to do is study for and then take finals next week. Since i'm nearing graduation and about to get out into (what most people would call) the 'Real World' i've been thinking about things i wish i could go back and do differently - or i guess a better way to word that would be, "what i will do different with my children."

I will have to post that later.... Zo and Levi just got here! Have a great night! Sorry for the boring post.

Lord, i need you. You know everything that is going on inside of me better than i or anyone else could ever understand. Please be with us tonight. Help me to be patient and loving despite my emotions. I need your help, Father. I love You.

i need a title

Well i turned in my research paper yesterday. And i gave my presentation for my Missions class today. It went very well - a friend even mentioned that he thinks i have the potential to be a good public speaker. BWAH HA HA!! Good one! Now that's funny! Appearently my paranoia about making sure everything would flow and make sense came through very well to the audience. I'm just super glad that everything is done. All i have left this week is to turn in a project tomorrow morning for my Youth Ministry class. I've had it done for 4 days now, but tomorrow morning at 9 AM it will be out of my hands and no longer my problem. Gotta love that feeling!

The concert was also amazing! You would think with my love for music that i would be a big concert person, but honestly i'm not really a concert-goer. I think growing up i was selfish and it was all about me, so i never cared to watch anyone else sing or perform. Then when i got in college i had to attend 25-35 concerts a semester (the boring ones) and so i got burnt out or something. Thankfully i've grown a lot since both of those incidents. But even still haven't been to many concerts within the past 2 years. But last night was great! Beyond great!

His presence was there.... i felt like i could sense his Real-ness. Do you know what i mean? To think that the Word became flesh - HERE ON EARTH. To think that He walked on this same earth that i walk on.... only many years earlier. And to know that He is REAL. And get this - coming back one day for people like me and you! That same God who was here a long long time ago... He is coming back one day. I can't grasp it..... MAN!

Mark Hall has a book out called Lifesong.... i believe that's the title of it. And it tells the story behind each of his songs. Ever since i heard his heart, perspective, and passion for life I can't help but like him and his music. Once again, a genuine person - my gosh it just speaks volumes to me.

Watching them sing to our Father in heaven and encourage others across this huge arena to do the same increased the desire in my heart. It made me want to do it even more for the rest of my life. That would be so much fun!

Well i need to go to sleep, gotta get up at 7 in the morning... and i can't hit snooze. But i leave you with the lyrics to one of Casting Crowns songs. Enjoy!

"While You Were Sleeping"

Casting Crowns

Oh little town of Bethlehem

Looks like another silent night

Above your deep and dreamless sleep

A giant star lights up the sky

And while you're lying in the dark

There shines an everlasting light

For the King has left His throne

And is sleeping in a manger tonight

Oh Bethlehem, what you have missed while you were sleeping

For God became a man

And stepped into your world today

Oh Bethlehem, you will go down in history

As a city with no room for its King

While you were sleeping

While you were sleeping

Oh little town of Jerusalem

Looks like another silent night

The Father gave His only Son

The Way, the Truth, the Life had come

But there was no room for Him in the world He came to save

Jerusalem, what you have missed while you were sleeping

The Savior of the world is dying on your cross today

Jerusalem, you will go down in history

As a city with no room for its King

While you were sleeping

While you were sleeping

United States of America

Looks like another silent night

As we're sung to sleep by philosophies

That save the trees and kill the children

And while we're lying in the dark

There's a shout heard 'cross the eastern sky

For the Bridegroom has returned

And has carried His bride away in the night

America, what will we miss while we are sleeping

Will Jesus come again

And leave us slumbering where we lay

America, will we go down in history

As a nation with no room for its King

Will we be sleeping

Will we be sleeping

United States of America

Looks like another silent night