Following Orders

Katy demanded that I post about how things are going!

:)

To be honest, this week has been extremely hard. This job is extremely hard. Life is extremely hard.

And to be even more honest and transparent, I feel dark. I'm so tired, so overwhelmed, so stressed that I can hear it in my voice, feel it in my body, and need to release tears at any given moment throughout my week.

I would love to think that it's going to all become normal and routine pretty soon and things will level out, but part of me can't help but worry that the enemy may use this against me. Many times throughout this journey i've felt him try to step in when i'm vulnerable and weak and completely diminish what God has done over the previous school year.

So I ask for your prayers.

But on a happier note....

I got to love a student on Friday!

She wouldn't speak. She was very much to herself and quiet. It hurt my heart when I thought of her.

When she missed her bus last week, I contacted a guardian and left her in the office with the assurance that someone would be there to get her. As I was walking back to my room I felt the Lord press it upon my heart to go sit with her until someone arrived. I had received a text message from a friend challenging me to love someone in my day.... here was my chance. No matter how long the to-do list was on my desk.

So I turned around my little hiney, walked back up to the office, and asked her if she wanted me to sit with her until someone was there to take her home. She wouldn't look at me or respond. After a few seconds, as I was about to give her a signal for yes/no, she turned and looked me square in the eye and shook her head - yes.

:)

I sat with her. I loved her. I hugged her goodbye.

Yesterday during one of our classroom activities, she was singing as she was working; almost as if she had no fear to be herself. From no talking, to singing! That will touch your heart!

I have a special place in my heart for that precious girl..... and now she's gone. No warning. Just gone.

No lie. I got choked up when I found out.

This is why I teach..... to love those who may never get it anywhere else. To allow children to be children.... to open up and be free.

Lord, I don't know where she is.... but she's on my heart. Protect her. Let her know she is loved. Pursue her precious soul. And guide me as I love and lead the rest of my class. I can't do this without You. In Jesus' name.