Friday, April 29, 2011

The Dramatic Events Lately


Oh, if I could share with you the dramatic events of my health lately I so would, but trust me when I say parts of it are T.M.I.

Just too much!

I will tell you that I found a gray hair on the floor when I was on my knees in my favorite place with the Lord. Lately, I've come to love that posture before Him and often i'll go to the same place. But apparently I have some stress up in this life because gray.hairs.people.


Not just one, but four.


Quite a few people have been asking where I have been lately and while others of you may not care at all, I figured I might as well share.

Made To Crave by Lysa Terkeurst is the current book that i'm reading and if you haven't heard of it or added it to your list.... do so now. It's absolutely wonderful! The Truth's in this book are a lot of the same one's that I have been learning over the past two years. I love it when that happens!

Just a little breif summary for those of you who have no idea what Made To Crave is about - Lysa shares openly that she struggles with her weight and food. She says in her book that craving isn't a bad thing, but that the only thing that was meant to satisfy was God. She encourages us by letting us know that it is possible to overcome this battle with food. It doesn't have to be a continuous cycle.

One of the chapters talks about the skinny girls. I'm so glad she included that chapter in her book, because although I don't struggle with food or weight that doesn't mean I don't have my own issues or cravings. And trust me, you wouldn't want to swap your weaknesses for mine or anybody elses.

You may have read my post a few weeks ago about "Daring to believe that you can defeat the voice of impossible". Well, when I read Made To Crave the "thing" i'm believing that I can overcome is my addiction or craving for the internet.

Do I do anything bad on the internet? No.
Is everything about the internet bad? No.

But I do come home completely exhausted and sit and sit and sit and sit and sit. And then hours later I realize that I have wasted so much of my time. It frustrated me. It disgusted me. It bothered me.

My checklist had time with Jesus at the top, but I could feel in my heart that my checklist had free down time on the internet first. And Ladies, Jesus doesn't look at my checklist. He looks at my heart. And oh, how my heart so longed for Him. I wanted Him first in my heart. I wanted my heart to truly be satisfied by Him and Him ONLY.

It frustrated me. It disgusted me. It bothered me.

It bothered my soul.

I knew that I didn't want to fast or diet from the internet because..... I don't believe in diets.

I knew that what I needed was strength and victory from Jesus. And before I ever heard of Made To Crave or even knew it existed, I knew and believed and even felt Him speaking the same message to my heart about my internet issue.

I needed Him to help me overcome this area of my life. And I believe that it was possible.

I was tired of letting a THING control me. How silly.

So there you have it.

My computer crashed and will not turn on. My facebook sent me strange emails and I was afraid it may have a virus, so I haven't gotten on it in months. That explains where I have been in terms of that.

Thankfully, I find blogger completely beneficial to my life and I don't feel the Lord telling me to close shop, but I do want self-control and victory when it comes to time management.

So I haven't officialy sat down and made a plan, but in the back of my mind i've "made a plan" and if it's not on my plan i'm not going to do it. Right now, i've only been getting on during the weekends and honestly, sometimes i've done so well during the week that I'll pass up the opportunity to get on during the weekend.

In the meantime, I hope you guys are doing well and I hope you're growing intimately in love with the Lord Jesus Christ. He is so very good and I pray that you see that and sense that when you come to this place.

I love you all.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Easter Joy

The Kilgore Family Easter 2011

My precious, purple-wearing parents!

Fun Fact: If you look up orange on the color wheel blue is directly across from it. Meaning, those colors matched together will bring out the brighter boldness in each color. So fun! :)

Friends since birth. Literally. Practically Sisters. Love them like nobodies business.

They were so very thoughtful and kind to invite us over to eat for Easter! It was delicious! Afterwards we had an Easter Egg Hunt where the big kids were able to participate. Gift Cards and Money were in the "big" kid eggs. Here we are below with our findings!

It was a beautiful, blessed day where the joy and abundance of Jesus what absolutely evident!

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (eph 3:17b-19)

And may you truly taste and see that He is, indeed, so very good!

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory, forever and ever! Amen. (Eph 3:20-21)

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Past Weekend

Well, well... It's been a pretty busy week around our household. We just finished up our last performance of The Sacrifice, an Easter play we do at our church. The sister and I are merely town's people, but mom and dad have actual "names" (err parts) in the play. Dad is Pilate and mom is his wife, Perculia (totally not sure how to spell that). They start out in normal towns people street clothes and then switch during the middle of the play into their fancier garb. Mom's outfit is white and gold with a cape and all sorts of stuff. Once their big scene is over they switch back into their normal towns attire so that they can be a part of the end of the show. A few of my students came and it was so fun to see them afterwards. One of my little girls whom I love soooooooooooo very much ran up to my mother (keep in mind she is in her olive green regular towns clothing) and said (with her finger next to her mouth in deep thought), "ummmm... I thought you were the princess?" ha :) crack. me. up. It's always such a blessing and fun to be a part of the show. It is a great way to get to know people in your church whom you may see often, but not truly know. By the last performance we are typically drained in all aspects, but when it's over it is kinda sad that we won't be spending hours late into the night up at the church crunching to get everything just right. My sweet mother ran up to the school with me afterwards... in.the.dark. so that I could get my sub plans layed out juuuuuust perfectly. I'm prett anal when it comes to leaving my students with other people. While I know that things will be okay, i'm suuuuch a planner that it really gives me some anxiety to make sure that it's all layed out right. It's easier to just be there instead of take a day, but it's also so very biblical to rest. I definitely need a day to not only rest, but get some things done that I don't typically have time for (like oil change, tire rotation, shopping, cleaning my bedroom, etc..). But i'm definitely going to miss my kids. As the anxiety tried to creep in this afternoon when I had to leave my sub plans unfinished and the thoughts came flooding that it would be much easier to just beeee at school, I took a moment to turn it into a positive thought. I wouldn't be so concerned with getting my plans just right if I didn't care about my kids. And the fact that I want to be there instead of take a day once again fills my heart will joy, praise and thanks. I still wouldn't trade knowing He lead me there and that His passion and peace keep me going. He is good! I am nothing without You, Jesus. Be with my students tomorrow and my sub. Help me to find rest, yet to get some things done that need to be done. Life feels a little hectic here lately.... constantly going here and there. Will you help me see what doesn't need to be or how to manage time? I don't want to get so caught up in everything that I miss my purpose in You. Please allow your Reality and Truth to sink deep into my soul. Every area of my mind that needs to be replaced with bold confidence... Lord, please do for Your glory. I desire to know you more passionately and intimately with each day. To continue to taste and see that You are good... Praise Your Name!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Blogger Problems

Lately when I try to type a post there are no spaces inbetween my paragraphs when I hit publish. And since I stink at telling short stories, and for the most part typing short posts, I refuse to make you squint your eyes and suffer through reading a post. with. out. spaces. I have many things that I have wanted to share, but I guess you aren't suppose to hear them yet. arg. arg. arg. Hope you are all doing well!