Sunday, May 31, 2009
Saturday, May 30, 2009
First, I need to stop and admit that I was wrong about something. I mentioned in my daybook that we could 'count dad out' when it came towards the garge sale, but to my surprise while I was sleeping the morning (or day - you decide) away he was hard at work. He went through his shop and decided out of 'his stuff' what he wanted to sale. Then him and mom cleaned out the shop so that we could set up some stuff in there and have more space for the garage sale. They even built a rack to hang clothes on.
Honestly, i'm a little nervous about this garage sale. I'm frightened that it's going to be more of a 'garbage sale'... but mom keeps reiterating the 'someones junk is someone elses treasure' saying.
There are times when i'm going through all of our 'things' and i think - Who is coming to this sale? Will they completely freak out if they know I owned this? What about that article of clothing? Maybe I shouldn't put that out. It's like everything about the past few years (or all 22 years of your life for those of us who have never had a garage sale) are out there in the open for everyone to see. I'm not gonna lie, it's kind of nerve racking.
What's really sad is that when I completely emptied out my closet and went through every piece of clothing that I own, the garage sale pile looked like a seperate persons closet. I did not realize how many clothes I had.
Here is my main thought towards garage sales....
always check your siblings (or any other relatives)
for sale pile because they just might sneak something of yours into it
Like that beautiful lime green shirt that you haven't worn in over a year, but you swear you love. :) haha! And I know you're thinking, 'hmm Megan, I'm pretty sure i've never seen you in lime green because you wear the same black shirt to every event that you attend' .... And i'd have to say, Hello it's nice to meet you, this is the new bright 'n cheery Megan who welcomes all colors into her life!
We went out to eat tonight as a family and shopped a little as well. Dad was in a really really goofy mood. I don't think many people see that side of him. He really can be funny sometimes - tonight was definitely one of those nights. It seemed like we were all laughing throughout the whole night. I enjoyed the time spent with my family tonight! (maybe it was the colorful shirt I had on instead of my normal nuetral? KIDDING!)
We encoutered a first tonight - while we were eating at a certain restaurant the cops came in and announced this....
We hope you are enjoying your meal, but we do need
everyone at this time to get up and exit the resaurant. I repeat, we need everyone to exit the restaurant right now.
Appearently someone called in a bomb threat with a muffled voice. Obviously they weren't too worried because everyone was standing right outside the door of the restaurant. If there was truly a bomb the 5 foot distance from the front door would not have saved us. Just saying!
Well i'm off to do some garage sale work before I go to bed! I'm pretty sure i've said Garage Sale a total of 50 times through out this post. Good night!
Thank you Father for being in control even when my life seems out of control. I thank you that while i'm still a sinner with junk in my life, You do everything in your power to pursue me and empty me of what does not need to be there. I'm overwhelmed by your faithfulness and your soveriegnty. Will You please continue to work in my life? Bring me to a true knowledge of who You are, what You've done, and all that You are capable of. I want to love You with all that I am!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I called the lady during work today to talk about a few things that both of us had questions on. When you enter the program you have to check which area you are going towards. A few weeks ago a woman that I spoke with told me to check Music so that I could get into the program and then if I wanted to I could switch over. The main thing was getting IN to begin with.
When I sent my stuff I checked Music EC-12 and Generalist EC-4.
The lady I talked with today said that I have everything covered to go the music route (which I already knew), but that I was going to have to take another test to go the generalist route. I knew this was coming so it's not really a big deal... it's just that the other lady told me sometimes they waver little things like that and I was almost hoping this was one of those situations. But it's not, and that's completely okay.
Since i'm super busy at work - joking - I spent the morning registering online for the PACT Generalist EC-4 test. I'm scheduled to take it Wednesday, June 23. This one cost $120 each time that you fail and have to retake it, but I have some study tools online and a practice test day scheduled to better prepare me for this one. Everything will work out in His timing - and i'm really in no rush. A little frightened to be honest. I've never done anything like this.... it's a big deal.
My interview is scheduled for Monday, June 8th. It's mainly a "Get To Know You" interview and a time to answer any questions that I may still have at this time.
I guess that's all the updates I have right now. Is it bad to ask for prayer? I always feel guilty asking for people to pray for me.... but here's me.... asking. Will you pray for me and everything towards this situation? I want His will, His way, His timing, His everything - all else is vain and completely not worth it.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I don't have the courage to share with you everything that's on in my mind/heart/whatever.... but could you please pray for me? I literally don't know how much more I have left in me, i'm hurting so bad. I'm so upset with myself that I can't just get my act together and be this amazing strong person. I'd appreciate your heartfelt prayers on my behalf.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
One of my favorite blogs to visit is that of MckMama's. When she was four months pregnant she was told that her baby boy would not live. She blogged throughout her pregnancy and shared everything that was going on when they would find out more news. She openly shared about her faith and how she gave her son to God. "I trust you with my baby."
What is so amazing is how many people have heard about Christ through her story.
What's even more amazing is that it continues to go on and on and on. Their story aired on the NEWS tonight and she again openly talks about God. It's not everyday in America that you hear someone (publicly) on the NEWS talk about God and give Him all the glory.
I would definetly recomend her blog to anyone. She's so encouraging, funny, honest, and open. But tonight if you simply want to here the short version of Stellan's story that was broadcast on the NEWS - click here!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
We had already sent a student to the office for saying a cuss word that I'm pretty sure I didn't even know existed when I was in Elementary School, when another student decided to call their fellow student a female dog. By this time I was tired of kids running up to me tattling on every little thing another person did wrong.
Minutes later a group of kids came to me saying that a boy had said the S word. I got the students attention and motioned for him to come see me. The whole time he's walking towards me he's defending himself; continual whining talk. I told him that I will not speak to him while he's acting like that... when he stopped I explained to him that I was going to talk first, not him.
"I don't care what anyone did to you. I don't care if they were wrong for doing it. I'm talking to you. I'm going to ask you a question and if you are honest you can sit out for 5 minutes. If you choose to lie you will sit out for the rest of PE. Now did you say the S word?"
nods head "Yes mam."
"Go sit down. I'll tell you when to get up."
The lady who was helping me had been inside the building taking a student to the restroom so she didn't witness any of this. When she returned I explained to her why he was sitting out.
"He said the S word."
"Did you ask him what the S word was? Because it could have been shut up. That's a bad word to them"
"I didn't even think about it. All these kids using fowl language got my mind on a roll in that direction. I just assumed it was the other S word."
I walked over, bent down to his level, and asked him what S word he said.
Talk about feeling like an idiot.
After a few minutes I went to talk with her. I wanted her to know why she was sitting out, to explain to her why her actions/words were wrong.
I bent down and explained to her that it was very wrong to call someone names even if she truly thinks they are ugly, fat, or a chicken. It is not nice. She started to defend herself and tell me what the boy had done... when someone is mean to you they want you to get mad and upset - and when you do, you are letting them win. No matter what anyone does to you I want you to choose to be sweet. When you do that, you are winning. So can you play and be sweet no matter what? Yes.
A few minutes later she ran up to me saying that someone had thrown dirt in her eye.
"Be sweet. Remember?"
She came back a little later tattling on something else... I told her that I still wanted her to be sweet, to which she replied, "when does it work?"
Appearently she was ready to win. Maybe I didn't do so good with my explaination.
And how exactly does a hot cow sweat?
(still sitting outside) There was a bug crawling on my back and while I could see it, I couldn't quite reach it to flick it off. I asked this precious little girl sitting next to me to get it off for me. What was I thinking? Little girls and bugs? She ran away, and when I let her know that it was gone she came back. haha... She insisted that it was a baby spider even though I told her it wasn't. She informed me that baby spiders only have 3 legs and they are not allowed in the sun.
Did you know that?
(Cari, how did I do on my title? bwah ha!)
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Yesterday I was out running errands so I stopped by to see if I could sign up to take the test again. This time I'd only be taking the reading section since that's the only part I haven't 'passed' yet. The lady asked if I wanted to take it right then.... ummm, I guess?
Just incase she recognized me from last week and was wondering why the heck I was there again, I explained to her that I was getting my alternate teaching certificate and needed to make higher than an 85 on Reading. Last time I missed it by 5 points - making an 80.
I called mom to let her know that I was about to take the test instead of waiting for another day. She reassured me that I'd do fine either way and reminded me not to read too far into anything if I don't meet the minimal requirements again. Then she let me know she was praying.
After a quick restroom break (and a few prayers), I started the test.
There were 20 questions. One type was where you read a short paragraph and answered the questions by what was implied. I'm more of a stated person. The other type gave 2 sentences and you had to figure out why the two went together; cause/effect, fact/example, etc..
I took my time, read through each question/answer multiple times, and finally finished. The lady pulled up my results on the screen (knowing what I needed to make) and looked back at me with this look.
For the life of me I couldn't find the results on the screen.
"Where is it? Where does it show it?"
Points to the screen
Reading - 99
I wanted to cry! As I walked to the car I thanked the Lord outloud over and over and over... I didn't care how much of a goob I looked like. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
Everything is almost ready to be sent off to Region 7 (deadline is May 29) and then i'll wait for the call to be interviewed. Until then I wait - not worry. And if I get accepted I start in June.
For those of you who may be wondering, I am going to continue to live at home through the summer. I want (and need) to move out because I know that there are things that can only be learned through living on my own. But right now it only makes sense to stay here for a few more months. If I get accepted into the program it is possible that I may have to move, in order to be closer to whatever school district I'm placed in. It is also possible that I get placed right where I'm at and not need to move out of town. But there's no way to know right now.
So I guess that's all the updates I have for the moment.... I'll keep you posted as I go. (although you may not even care - haha)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Mom and I have been DANCIN it up - okay, so more like attempting to dance - with her new workout video. We should probably stick to music in the Kilgore family and leave the dancin' to the pros. You will not be seeing either of us on that show in this lifetime. It is flat out hilarious! We get more of an AB workout laughing at each other than we do actually dancing. We're no good, people.... no good!
The rest of us had a great time sitting on the couch watching mom, but i'm thinkin' she got her feelings hurt because we kept laughin' at her.... So now i'm lookin' a fool right there with her! That's love!
Tonight is day 3 of the 30 day Shred (my workout video) - so far successful with my discipline. Mom has been so sweet to SHRED with me since I "dance" with her.
Except that when I look over to see my partner this is what I usually find....
I might need a new partner; what do you think? This one's not so encouraging... haha :)
Monday, May 11, 2009
I read a blog entry the other day where a woman was talking about casting all of our cares and burdens on the Lord. She looked up the definition of cast and this is what she found -
to hurl: throw forcefully
As I was driving home the other I day I got to thinking about that. See, the problem for us is that we tend to cast things like a fishing rod. We reach back, throw it out with a little flip of the wrist, and then as soon as we feel a little tug or tension we reel it back in.
I'm pretty sure that's not what He meant.
Lord Jesus, help us, teach us what it truly means to cast, hurl, throw forcefully, shed, get rid of all our burdens and cares and give them to You. Because even though we can't grasp it or understand it, You do care for us. We want to experience true freedom that can only come from You. In order to do that we have to learn to surrender everything that we are clinging to.... to empty our hands.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
She's currently 'Dancing with the Stars' right infront of me and i'm about to lose it. She needs a little more practice on the hips, if you ask me. If I knew she wouldn't totally kill me i'd video tape her and post it to this blog. Better be glad it's Mother Day weekend otherwise I might have done it.
The girl who did my hair seemed to be in her mid 20's. While she was cutting my hair I noticed this picture collage of a baby boy on her wall. There were also pictures all over her vanity of the same little boy. Then I saw it - November 2008 through March 2009. That's less than 2 months ago? O my goodness... I would have never known, she's so friendly and seems to be doing okay. Would it be rude if I asked about him? Surely not if she has this many pictures up.
So I did it.
Do you mind if I ask what happened with your son?
I sat there trying to decide what to say. When I got in my car to leave the thoughts were flooding my mind - you could have said this or this or this. Doesn't it always happen that way? I wanted to offer some kind of encouragement, but I had nothing.
She has the perfect job to use her sons story as a witness. Tons of people from all different backgrounds come into that salon on a daily basis. Her son's loss wasn't a surprise to God - we know that. But I wonder if she did?
Whether she knew it or not, God used that moment to remind me that there is far more going on here than we'll ever understand. Everything that happens to us has an eternal purpose; a bigger picture than we could ever imagine. Any person we come in contact with may need to hear our story or see how we handle our journey. We never know all that is going on.
She was an encouragement to me today!
Now, if you need something more interesting to read, here are some of my favorite findings from this week.
Mckmama gives some Natural Cleaning Ideas
Emily, at Chatting at the Sky, shares some advice for mothers who photograph their children.
And take a look at The Nester's Fabric File-To Go - what an awesome idea!
Oh, and ummm, mom is now eating ice cream. So much for that work out. She claims that it's just enough to get her up and going again. sure.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
My results were the same on each test; I'd do above average on one section (math) and fail the other (reading). There was no going around it - I was going to have to retake one of these tests before I could even apply for the program. Frustrating.
Do you remember taking the ACT and SAT in high school? Do you remember what a daunting process that was?
NO THANK YOU!
I wasn't about to put myself through that again. Someone else can use their time to fill in all those millions of bubbles. Not me.
Mom remembered that Panola offered the Accuplacer exam. You could schedule a time, pay your money, take the test, get the results immediately, and even retake it as many times as you want. Seemed like the way to go.
When I got there the lady mentioned that there were only 12 questions for the math section and 20 for the reading. Heck yes! I'll be out in no time.
I thought I was going to go insane. At one point I realized I was twisting my chair back in forth - maybe in an attempt to keep myself alert and alive. No one stopped me so I'm guessing it didn't bother them.
Not to mention, the lady who was giving the test was TALKING during it. I seriously had to plug my ears and might have even rolled my eyes.... I just needed to concentrate and she so wasn't makin' that possible.
When I was finished taking the test my results printed immediately. The lady acted completely shocked and started giving me compliments about how high my scores were. She made me feel awesome, but then I saw the scores for myself.
Math - 111
Reading - 80
Writing - 7
They seem alright at first glance.... but do you see the HUGE difference in my math and reading?
Once again the reading isn't high enough. Frustrated to the max, folks. Makes me want to cry - yes, i'm that much of a baby.
You have to make a minimim of a 75 on math (check) and an 85 on the reading (zero check). I'm so left brained. Give me details and I can make up some steps to figure out the answer for you. Even if I can't remember the exact equation I can figure out a way to get the correct answer. I'm good at problem solving. Not so good at reading... obviously. I'm one of those people who has to read a paragraph about 10 times before I understand what the person is saying. And that's after starting over the first sentence 5 times because I realized I already forgot what we were talking about. Even though it may not seem like it, I do well on the grammar sections of test, just not quite enough on the reading passages.
Those stories today were whacko. Whoever makes those tests could do the students a favor by atleast giving them something interesting to read. Do they want them to fall asleep?
So I don't know what to think from here. I can't apply for the program until I pass the reading section. Is this a shut door? How long do you keep paying and trying to pass a test before you realize it's not God's will for you? Why am i even paying all this money for something that i'm not sure I'm going to love?
I'll be okay in a few days. I'm just a little upset at the moment. No one likes to fail something - especially by 5 points.
This was part of the conversation that I overheard -
Katie: I'm free yers ole.
Katie: You got a pink shirt on.
While we were eating snacks Katie decided she wanted some of mine too.
Cam: What is lead?
Have a good day tomorrow!!!!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
With high school and college combined i've had about 3 years (six semesters) of spanish. You would think I'd be a pro by now, but i'm so not. I know the correct sounds for all the letters which means that I can read it very well. Remembering all the meanings for the words is the hard part for me. My brain can only hold so much information. Okay, so I was a terrible slacker when it came to foreign language. I knew what I could do to get an A or B in the course and that's exactly what I did... but I didn't learn/study enough to be able to really use it.
It's days like today when I wish I would have payed more attention in those classes.
Have you ever heard that music students do best with foriegn language classes? (Totally irrelevant - just popped in my head.)
I had fun testing out my spanish skills today. The kids quizzed me on my colors and a few verbs. I tried to speak as much as i could to them in Spanish - even if it was only one or two words - I got the point across. They thought it was silly and I felt super cool so it was a win/win situation! haha!
I do catch myself wanting to speak with an accent now... my thoughts even have an accent... do you do that too? You know how you hang around someone for so long and you start picking up their speaking habits. I've got to get this out of my system before I get to church tonight.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Me: ummm, I don't know. The Shred workout by Jillian on the Biggest Loser.
Brandon: Hoooooww about.... a month of tanning at the salon down town? Because um.... you need one reeaaal bad.
Point taken. Thanks.
Tomorrow is my 22nd birthday. I decided to work instead of take the day off because really and truly I do not need another day to myself. Relational beings we so definitely are - and I am here to confirm that for ya! Today was a weather day so I slept in, got ready, and headed over to Longview to spend some birthday money.
I know you are probably tired of hearing about my bathroom redo and could careless to see any more pictures, but I had to show you my new vase. Mom got it for me at H*bby L*bby on sale for my birthday - woo hoo! It matches perfecto! She even spent her evening clipping all the flowers, placing them in just the right spot, and securing them into the foam. What a wonderful mom is she?
One of my favorite things, that I did pretty much all by myself within the past year, was tackle this bathroom. Do you remember what it looked like before? It's been months since the project has been finished, but I still find myself looking for these colors when i'm out shopping. It hasn't gotten old yet, and that makes me happy. I still wish I could paint the cabinets a dark chocolate. And the hideous faucets that stick out like a stinkin' sore thumb, yeah. It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful, but that would make it complete!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Haven't changed a bit, have I? hrm...
It never even crossed my mind that I would get emotional today. As I walked down that aisle with the Brass Quintet playing I was caught off guard by the rush of emotions that came over me. Scanning the crowd for familair faces was not an option - that increased the tears. Today has been a great day! And since Papa Bill never got to experience graduation for himself, I let him wear my cap for a moment. Whose idea was it to create that sort of hat anyways?
Thank you, Lord God, for new beginnings. Thank you for simply being You.