Thursday, April 30, 2009

Phone Calls

Last night I shared a lot of my thoughts towards subbing and a little bit about everything going on with getting my certification.

I mentioned that I had filled in last week for an AID who was put on bed rest. Remember the sweet Megan that I spoke of? I so enjoyed being an AID over a teacher. They had a woman/sub that was scheduled to start April 28th (this past Monday) and fill this position for the remainder off the year (til' June 5th). I have to confess that I was a little disappointed. Being an AID was so much more fun, not to mention it kept me awake because I was constantly busy. I secretly wanted that spot.

Mom called this afternoon to inform me that the lady who was scheduled to fill in for the paraprofessional (AID) had to cancel because something came up. They wanted to know if I wanted the job. (Okay so maybe I shouldn't call it a JOB since i'm only filling in, but job sounds so much more important than spot.) Of course I accepted. So I start on Monday as a SUB-paraprofessional until June 5th when Public School lets out.

This may seem so tiny and silly to some of you, but to me it's huge.

This time last year I saw graduation approaching and I was so uncertain about what I was going to do with my life. I had zero plans. I knew and believed that no matter what decisions/mistakes I had made, no matter the amount (or lack) of training I had, that God would provide and give me the strength and courage to do whatever He had planned. (sorry for the run-on)

Other than babysitting, I've had one job that I consider a real job in my whole 21 years on this planet. I was a server at Golden Corral for about 2 years. I worked a whole whoppin' one day of the week. I'm serious when I say i've never had to work hard for anything. I've had it way too easy - i've coasted WAY too much. Maybe if I had worked other places instead of letting my parents provide and do everything for me then I might have a better sense of what I wanted to do with my life.

I chose (for probably the first time in my life) to let it go and trust Him. There was no sense in worrying about it. The past was the past and He would provide. I must choose to have faith.

That was a big step for me. The future was so uncertain, but I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And I could choose to love whatever I was doing. Whether I felt a strong sense that He called me there or not.

Getting that phone call today brought tears to my eyes.

It is two days away from Graduation and He has provided. Just like I knew and trusted that He would. I know it's a simple little job and it's not even forever, but it's something. And that's huge to me.

I got another phone call a few weeks ago from a lady who wanted to know if I would work as a Group Leader at the Summer Camp Program for the Boys n Girls Club. She was going to be over the program this year and everything was going to be different. Since I had nothing planned for the summer I accepted immediately. Automatically I thought back to last summer and how I was so afraid about graduation and the plans after. Yet here we are - and He has provided.

So i'm set until Public School begins again next Fall. I must choose now to lay it down and trust that He will provide when that time comes also. No matter how big or small - He will.

For the first time since High School (i believe) i'll be on schedule again that begins at 5:30 each morning. Five days a week... no choice to sleep in, no breaks during the middle of the day that tempts you to skip class, none of that mess. The joys of being back into a routine. I am thankful for boundaries.... i need them.

Thank you, Lord God, for providing. Forgive me for ever doubting that You would. Oh what You can do with a little faith. It's beautiful to me... I don't even know what to say. Continue to open my eyes to what You are teaching me. Help me to embrace everything I am given and to choose to love it. Thank You for the relationship that you put into my life that pushed me into this place... You taught me show much through that friend. Thank You. I still need You God.

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