Monday, June 21, 2010

China has always been a great dog! From the moment she came into our family dad started working with her every morning to teach her tricks and manners. She's a very smart dog.

Sometimes she completely surprises us with how aware of things she is.

Like most dogs she can tell when we're leaving for a big trip. You can't pack the car without her sneaking in. When she knows that she is coming along she'll head for the truck entirely too early and sit in the passenger seat. You aint leaving her behind.

In the summertime, she knows what a swimsuit is. As soon as we turn the corner from the hallway she sees it and jumps out of her chair, with her childlike squeal, heading straight for the back door.

On the weekends when we take a trip to the lake, she knows exactly where we are headed. I don't understand how she can distinguish between hours of car riding and a trip to the lake. Whether I get it or not, she really does know the difference.

Mom and Dad were sitting outside the camper eating breakfast this morning and China was napping in her usual spot underneath said camper in the shade. When they were finished eating they took some stuff inside and then came back out. They had to make a few trips in and out before everything was put up. In the process of all that they decided they would go for a walk. They headed back inside one more time to put on their shoes.

When they came out to get China, there was no sign of her.

They hollered and hollered and hollered. When she didn't come running mom started to freak out. She headed down to the public restrooms to see if somehow China had gotten shut inside.


They looked all over the campsite and hollered some more.


The only other thing dad knew to do was go check the boat. We leave it parked in the water by the swimming area when we know we're going to be camping for a few days. Maybe all of their going in and out of the camper confused China and she thought she had been left behind.

He headed down there while mom paced frantically at the camper, almost at tears, trying to think of how she would explain this to Casie and I.

That smart little booger!

She was sitting at the foot of the boat waiting patiently.

Her poor legs are too short to jump in, but she knew that if she didn't see us around, the boat was the only other place for her to look. So there she sat. Waiting.


Thursday, June 17, 2010

Godly Gals

Some people are simply gifted with the ability of taking everyday situations and tying them into God's Word (Truth) for our lives. Such is the story for my friend, Cari, at Certainly Discovering Joy. A sweet testimony of her's is being featured in the Godly Gal's series at Mel's World with Melissa Mashburn. Click on over to read her entry.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

On Commitment

We all have our area of weakness. You know, the one place you feel like the enemy crouches and continually tries to get you. Sometimes the enemy doesn't have to do anything at all. We are held captive by our own fear of the past in that area. It's easier to blame him, but many times it's our own sin, or lack of faith.

For me, it's commitment.

I'm slowly becoming aware and learning this about myself. I see the walls up when it comes to relationships, and as soon as I accept something huge (like a job) my mind is tempted to go into freak out mode.

Most people say let the past be the past and don't keep hashing through, and for the most part I agree. But there are instances when you need to go back and figure out where things fell apart so that you can move forward. The past can help you be prepared for the future - not beating yourself up about it, but being honest and real with what happened. I firmly believe the Lord has to bring us to a place when we're ready to hash through.

It is clear to me where mine all began. Now i'm continually begging and believing Him for my healing.

Sometimes people make fun of me and crack jokes about how I think too much (and for the record it's 10 times better than it used to be), but really what it is is me trying to make sure that i'm being real and genuine in everything I do. There was a season of my life when so much doubt consumed my mind that I didn't know who I was, what I believed in, or what I even wanted anymore.

When I'm asked to take commitments or start a relationship i'm very guarded and hesitant because I want to make sure that everything I do and say is completely honest and genuine.

What if I take that job and realize that I hate it? Is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life? Do I love this... really? And if I find out that I dont, does that mean i've been living a lie?

Waiting for a teaching position was the easy part for me. I placed my faith in Him and just knew that I didn't have, or need, to worry about it. Accepting the position and letting it become official has been hard.

I keep reminding myself of the same Truth's that He has shown me over the past year... and i'm continually speaking the name of Jesus outloud. The Lord has shown me that absolute freedom is real.... and i'm believing Him for it.

I refuse to do nothing. My fear could keep me bound if i let it. If I let my fear of commitment take over I would never take a job or think about having a husband one day; all because I might wake up and realize that I hate what i'm doing, and then beat myself up that i'd claim to be someone that I wasn't. It seems silly to others, but it's my weakness.

So I trust all of my decisions and circumstances over to Him. He is God and I need to only be still and trust Him. Where I am right now in life is my reality. And whatever i'm doing i'm going to pray for His passion to carry me through. If I wake up and hate it.... atleast I know I tried and I'll wait for Him to lead me some where else.

Run away from your fears? Or press into Him?

Oddly enough... there is freedom in that raw place. That raw, open, vulnerable place of surrender. He is bigger than anything that tries to hold you captive. Think on Him, not the fear.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Summer Days Drifting Away

Summer is suppose to be the time of year when everything slows down and you relax. Mine has yet to be so.

Friday was our last day of school and, amazingly, I made every single one of the deadlines that I was suppose to.

Saturday brought beautiful sunny weather, a nice wedding shower for one of my best friends, and the news of a teaching position for next Fall.

A meeting for my summer job took up my Sunday afternoon, and then my evening was spent planning for an upcoming event.

It was an early morning rise on Monday as the summer program for Boys and Girls Club began. I'm the 5 and 6 year old (Kindergarten) teacher for the next two months. Monday evening I was almost at tears when I realized that I probably shouldn't have taken a summer position. Exhaustion (and stress) had finally hit. I've given myself, literally, no break - school ended, summer program began, and then my last day at B&G is my first day at the school.... my first year of teaching. Somehow I know He'll carry me through.

My brother and his wife came in to visit this week. How weird does that sound? We had really nice conversation and got to hear all about their honey moon. His hand still doesn't look right with that ring on it. Just sayin'.

Today I made a really exciting purchase. One of our furniture stores is going out of business and I managed to get a couch and love seat originally priced at $1800 for a yummy $900. It's Eurecka Chocolate, which is like a medium brown neutral color, with red/brown/creme accent pillows. It's so very me and what I absolutely love about it is that I can change the accent pillows whenever I want a redo.

I don't even have a house yet, but with my own money i've slowly gathered things here and there so that i'll be ready. I guess i'm just strange like that. So far I have my bedroom completely covered, my bathroom completely covered, a dining room table (that I got for free - and it's really pretty) and now my couches! And what's even more exciting is that i'm still debt free! :)

This weekend we have a shower for Brandon and Stacy - i'm really glad we get to see them twice in one week!!!

Next week is Vacation Bible School, Mega-Sports Camp, and a childhood friends wedding. Sunday is reserved for a huge nap.

So there you have it.... not sure you wanted to be, but now you are up to date with my "summer" thus far.

My evenings are classified as lame. I spend them in the recliner reading Harry Wong's Classroom Management and The First Days of School. What is happening to me...

Jesus, will You be my portion? When i'm exhausted to the point of tears and not sure I can love or have patience with one more child. Will You be my passion throughout my summer and into my first year of teaching. You know my heart... I don't want to do anything unless i'm wholly committed and completely passionate. Calm my heart and ease my mind that tempts to worry over commitments. You are what I need. Thank You for being You. In the precious, Holy, specific, peace bringing name of Jesus Christ.

Monday, June 7, 2010

The Brother Got Hitched

I know that i've been known as the camera freak, but can you believe that I didn't get hardly any of the pictures that I wanted to. No picture of Brandon by himself. No picture of the Bride and Groom on the big day. No family photo. It's a tragedy. I didn't want to be annoying; there was so much going on and I hated to interupt all of the conversations. Plus, most of the day the camera wasn't even in my posession. Many different people took the following photos; there are explanations with each below. Enjoy our weekend in pictures!

I thought the church was precious! The front doors were just screaming for a photo opt, but we had no time and no takers. Sadness.

Here are Brandon and Stacy after the rehearsal dinner.

This is Chase, Brandon's best friend through out high school and room-mate his first two years of college. We were extremely excited that he was able to be there!

This was taken just before rehearsal. And yes, the sister and I have on the exact same shoes; we might as well be twins.

Family Fun in the Elevator!

After we had dinner we headed to the Family Life Center at the church and had a little sports action. It was really a lot of fun!

Rise and Shine! This picture just makes me laugh, so I had to post it. Rolling out of bed on the morning of our brother's wedding! Here we go...

Getting ready at the church only an hour away from the big moment!

The mother of the groom pinning on her own flower deal. I will not attempt to spell that word correctly.

All dressed and ready - Isn't she adorable?

Brandon's Ring.

Stacy's dress and new sisters!!!

Hangin' out at the Reception.

The blue turned out really pretty.

Brandon and Papa - my mom's father.

Sisters with the groom before he starts to mingle!

The purpose of this photo is to show you mom's dress. Doesn't she looks so shnazzy?! If I could whistle I totally would insert that here.

The Bridesmaids - the tall ones are Stacy's sisters. And I win the award for being the shortest.

We just discovered that our dresses had pockets, literally moments before we had to take them off.
This was the only "family" photo that was taken the entire day (besides the photos the professional photographer took).

And here we are in their backyard.

Mr. and Mrs. Brandon Kilgore Residence. Such a cute first home!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

I can put my news out now...

I'm a First Grade teacher!!!!

We stopped to get a few things at an education store and I had to leave because it was all too overwhelming for me. Kindergarten was my comfort zone, First Grade is completely new. It'll literally be like starting from scratch. Standing in that store I realized that I didn't have a clue what I needed, or where to begin.

I think I have a hard time with things being official.

I'm so thankful that His truth sunk in. I chose not to worry and He proved faithful, yet again. He is good. And with that, I need to, once again, be still and know that He is God.

.... oh, for grace to trust You more.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

SImple Woman

For Today - Tuesday June 1st, 2010

Outside my window... it looks like rain and sounds like a train. Check out that rhyme - totally wasn't trying to be corny. It really acts like it wants to rain and there is an actual train going by.

I am remembering... to be still and know that He is God. (Psalm 46:10)

I am thankful for... my job and my God. As of right now there is nothing set in stone as far as a teaching position next year. I'm choosing to trust Him still and am thankful for the many opportunities that the wonderful people at Crockett give me.

I am creating... piles and piles of stuff in my classroom. Everything must be organized and packed away for the summer months so that the custodians can wax the floors. I've been packing, and organizing, and lifting furniture, and on and on and on. Who knew all that was involved the last few weeks of school.? You pretty much tear your room apart and then start back from scratch when August hits - literally. Hopefully i'll have it all done before we leave on Friday. I'd hate to spend my weekend up there finishing someone elses classroom.

I am going... to be memorizing a lot of music here in the next 2 weeks. It'll be fun!

I am reading... haven't really read much lately.

I am hoping... to find rest (in every aspect). I'm just plain worn out. It makes me a not so fun girl to be around.

On my mind... passion and joy. A few months ago it was so evident in my life. Where oh where did it go?

From the learning rooms... two and a half more days. I'm going to miss these children that i've spent the past nine months with, but right now it's time for summer. I often wonder if i'll be able to continue this job when I have children of my own. Some of you know exactly what I mean when I say that. For the sake of my children knowing they are truly loved, it might be a good idea to not work with other children for 8 hours of the day.

Noticing that... I have a lot that I need to do, yet can't find the motivation. Oh pray for me. ha.

Pondering these words... my Jesus is still the same. (spoken by Angie Smith when she went in for an ultra sound and found out the news of her sweet baby)

Around the house... it's incredibly quiet!

One of my favorite things... peace.

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