There have been many times over the past few weeks that I've wanted to sit down and write out our story.
Not because it's perfect. No, that's not it at all.
You see... I was terrified about relationships.
For most of you that is not new information. Just search around the blog and you'll see - or don't! You can't say I didn't warn you! :)
The fact that Mark and I are getting married is truly a testimony to the Lord's faithfulness and His abundant plans for our lives.
A few years ago, after some hard events in my life I prayed to the Lord to please just not let me date again. I begged Him. "I don't want to go out with anyone again until it's the one that You have for me. I don't want to call anyone BOYFRIEND, until it's him."
I'd heard other girls pray that prayer before and I thought - yep, let's do it.
It didn't take long for me to realize that my motivation for that prayer was all wrong. I didn't want to date because I was absolutely terrified. I didn't want the past to be repeated. The pain was just not worth it. I was content just sitting and waiting until He very clearly YELLED - THIS IS IT MEGAN, MARRY HIM... and pushed me into my future husbands arms.
The year I prayed that prayer I went on seriously about 10 blind dates. God really has a sense of humor huh?! :)
After a few of those dates I realized that He wasn't trying to frustrate and confuse me by contradicting my prayer, but instead showing me what desires He had placed in my heart for my future husband. And possibly helping me overcome some serious issues of fear I clearly had.
That's how long I went without calling anyone - BOYFRIEND. And I was perfectly happy that way. While my prayer might have had some funny motives, it was one of the best decisions I ever made because I was able to find my identity in Christ and really grow into who He had created me to be.
It was in those years that a lot of pruning and questioning and doubting and so much more took place. I needed to dig through a lot of that on my own and make my own decisions.
Now, yes, I was like every other girl who wanted to find her man, but I also was so okay with waiting on His timing. My past taught me that His plans and timing were so much better than anything I could force to happen - even on my best day ;) I truly got to a place where I was content being single and trusted His plans. That in itself is a gift from God - nothing my flesh could muster up!
So... this is really more for me than anyone else... because I want to write it down.
But I hope that maybe someone is encouraged by our story. That maybe your faith in Christ is strengthened by something you read.
Just please remember that I am only a kindergarten teacher and so not a pro when it comes to grammar. ;)
Check back later...