Pics

Casie and I were in a wedding this afternoon - all i have to say about this next picture is....

My sister is gorgeous!

Every time we go places people always think she is the oldest. They always look at us like we're joking when i tell them, "nope, you got it backwards, i'm the oldest!"

She was co-maid of honor today; her first wedding.

She's such a goof ball.
I love you, sister!

nearing the end...

As i near graduation i can't help but think about some things i would have done differently. I know that's probably not the best thing to do, but it's part of who i am. sorry. :)

Moving back home has been a challenge. There have been times when i just wanted to curl up into a ball in this house and never leave. There have been other times when i wanted to run far far away and not speak to these people for a long time. Maybe you've had those moments too.

I made some stupid decisions (especially in the area of relationships) and that is ultimately what brought me back to live in this town with my parents. No, i wasn't being a wild child or anything... i don't want you to get the wrong impression about me. I just needed to get away from certain people.

I am so thankful that the Lord guided my steps in the midst of all my decisions, weaknesses, mistakes, and the chaos. Him bringing me back to this town, with this family, my home church, and so many amazing Godly friends was exactly what i needed. (He does know what He's doing!)

Yeah, i still struggle with the 'what ifs' from time to time and there are days when i dwell on the past more than i should, but He is teaching me so much. He is showing me how He continually works in our lives.... how He is (and will continue) finishing the good work He started in us.... how there can be beauty in brokenness....

He brought me back to this place to so that i could watch and know certain people.

And i am so blessed because of it.

There was a girl in my tennis class last semester who came up to me and asked if i had any advice for her. She was a freshman and wanted to know, from a senior, what i would have done differently if i had the chance. So here are my thoughts...

Make friends. It is so important that you get involved, even when you don't feel like it. You need relationships... no, i don't mean just boyfriend/girlfriend, i mean all kinds of relationships. Develop as many as you can. Spend time with people doing random things. Have fun. You will grow more than you think you will through other peoples lives.

Have confidence in who you are. I believe it is so important to have a positive view of yourself. If you do not accept or love yourself you will find yourself trying to get it from others. And let me warn you, you do not want to go down that path. So please... love who you are, be okay with it, accept it, and simply BE YOU. Don't worry about what everyone thinks. I know you hear that alot and it's so much easier said than done, but if you stop judging yourself, judging others, and tyring to be whoever and whatever you'll began to be okay with who God created you to be. You'll ruin the surprise for everyone else if you try to be someone/something you are not.

Do. I think one of the biggest things i've learned is to get out and DO things. Especially when you are trying to figure out what the Lord wants for your life and future. Somewhere along the way i was deceived into believing that one day i would wake up and the Lord would say, "Megan, i want you to be an elementary school teacher and i want you to marry so in so..." It doesn't just fall into your lap. He is powerful enough to do that and i praise His name for that, but a lot of our life is about seeking. So go out. Get involved. Try things. Go on mission trips. Intern. Work. Do it all. Even if it's to find out that you absolutely hate it. Because you'll never know until you try - and then He can speak to you through those situations. The 'what ifs' won't even be able to enter into your mind because you've tried things and know that it's not right for you or vice versa. I hope that makes sense.

Seek Him. I started out my freshman year so sold out and determined to live for the Lord. I can remember sitting on the bottom bunk that i called my bed each evening reading my bible and some devotionals i had at the time. I just wanted to do it right. I studied all the time. I got my homework done first then i would play. I wanted to be my best. And, for a while, i was. Then the new life became normal life and things began to slowly drift away. College is a time when you are no longer under anyone else. You are (some what) making your own decisions. Your faith is going to be challenged. You may even wonder why you believe what you believe. Dive into that stuff - don't run from it. Seek Him so hard... i mean hard. Find out His truth and be willing to do whatever it takes. Live it. Your life will change and you will be so amazed.

That's all i really have time for this evening. I have to teach a short lil' lesson in one of my classes tomorrow so i really should go prepare for that. I hope you all have a fantastic day! I love you!

And I love You, Lord!

Simple Woman Daybook

For Today, Tuesday February 24, 2009....

Outside my window... dark, empty backyard. It's been pretty chilly the past few days. I'm so ready for spring weather; capris, flip flops, bermudas, you know!

I am thinking... that we live in an extremely fallen world and so many people need Jesus; and need the Truth about Jesus. Sometimes it's scary all the things that are out there. Lord, we are desperate for You. Help us ignorant human beings to see the Light. Protect us from false teachings and false prophets.

I am thankful for... James. He has had the biggest influence on my life. And i can say that statement and mean it with all my heart. I don't know what it is, but God continually teaches me things through him. I am so thankful for the past 2 years that i have been able to grow and be sharpened through his relationship with Christ.

From the learning rooms... well, i got my tests back that i took in all of my classes. I'm not too happy about one of them. It was a take-home open-book test and you could work with your class mates. I have a 100 written and circled on my paper.... and then crossed out. Then beside it i have a 75. He claims that it is because my answer was EXACTLY the same as someone elses. And he is correct. But there were zero bad intentions involved. I wouldn't be an idiot and flat out cheat and copy someones tests. I'm not that stupid. He said we could work together, and that is what we did - he never said anything about wording our answers differently. We read through the book, found the answer, and wrote it. I'll get over it. I'm just upset that the teacher is claiming that he said something that he never truly said - that BOTHERS me. And he could have left that 100 off of my page. I didn't need to know that i 'would have' made a 100 if it was worded differently. I would have been just fine without ever having that piece of information. My friend is going to speak with the professor to make sure that he knows our intentions were pure; that's what really matters.

I'm glad i could get that out. haha.

From the kitchen... I made banana bread for my mother last night because she's sick and i just really wanted to love her in one of the only ways i know possible. I plan on sweeping tomorrow, unloading/loading the dishwasher, and then cleaning off the clutter from the cabinets.

I am wearing... Red and grey sporty lookin' fitted tee, black comfy shorts, pink/red house shoes, and my hair is pushed back with a head band and up in a pony tail. Zero make up once again. Laziness has so crept in. Or more like has grown.

I am creating... some ideas for my bathroom once again. I'm not doing anything drastic, don't worry! haha. Just moving things around, adding a few things here an there to give it a different feel. I just haven't fallen in love with a shower curtain and that makes or breaks a bathroom. I added a basket (on the toilet) with a few items that kind of look spa-y!

I am going... to work on my Congregational Song Test in a few minutes. Then try to get motivated to do more homework and if i can't get motivated enough for that i'll finish my show from last night and read. A friend should be calling to talk about a few things tonight - we'll see if that happens.

I am reading... Can We Talk? Priscilla - it's the last week for this dude. Is it bad that i'm almost ready for it to be over? I really loved week one and one other random week in there, but other than that i'm tired. I need some kind of revival in my quiet time area. I want to get back to flat out reading the BIBLE... passionately. I miss it. Nobody given me a direction, or ideas to think about... just me reading to see what He says.

I will really miss seeing this friend every week and hearing her thoughts. I can't get enough of other peoples wisdom, thoughts, testimonies. I mean it when i say that - it does something to my heart and it just sticks. I love it!

I am hoping... to get my body on board with my mind. I love planning and organizing, but i have a really hard time getting over that initial hump to get moving. Or i guess carrying things out. Laziness is a big weakness of mine, and what's even worse is that i know this about myself and can even see myself doing it. Ahhh i hate it. I'm trying to push myself so hard, because i truly deep down like being productive, it's so fulfilling and i love that me. There's just something about making that first step towards it that is so hard for me. I don't know if i'm making sense.

I am hearing... complete silence.... really. I mean i can hear my computer hum, the big trucks on the Interstate, and obviously the keys as i type, but when i just sit here it's SO quiet. I don't like it. Every now and then it'd be a wonderful thing, but it seems to be a very regular thing around this house hold and i'm not really into it anymore.

Around the house... mom is still trudging through her sickness, but she's actually going back to work tomorrow. Dad is watching tv or something. Casie is at school and Brandon is at work. I have so much stuff i need to do tomorrow around the house. I have my 'To Do List' already made - if only i carry it out.

One of my favorite things... listening to Casting Crowns. I think a lot of it is because i read Mark Hall's book LifeSong and can't forget some of the things he has said. He seems like such a genuine man who loves the Lord and wants people to know Christ. You need to read his book, it will change the way you listen to his music.... i know it has for me.

A few plans for the rest of the week... bible study tomorrow morning, cleaning around the house tomorrow, working on homework for school, Adult Choir, teaching in class on Thursday, subbing and Rehearsal dinner on Friday, Nathan and I are singing in a wedding on Saturday, and then MP3 on Sunday. Seems like a packed full week, but really when i think about how lazy i am, it's SO not busy. Everything will get done with plenty of time to spare if i use my time wisely.

Here is a picture thought i am sharing... is it okay if i don't share a picture today? I'm not really in the mood and i should really get to my homework. Have a GREAT week and if you want to participate or read other Daybooks, visit this site.

Take Two

James and I were talking about prayer the other night and he reminded me of a sermon he heard once by Mark Driscoll.

Mark asked the question, "How do you think your children learn how to pray?"

He claimed that your children will learn to pray by hearing you pray. I totally have to agree with that statement. I mean think about it... so much of our lives, habits, words, actions, etc are all behaviors we have learned by observing those around us. And since we spend majority of our lives (growing up) with our family it's only a matter of time that we start to mimic them.

Have you ever had one of those 'o my gosh, i'm becoming my mother... o my gosh, my father used to say that' moments?

Come on. Admit it. You grow up watching your parents and claiming that you will never be like them, and then something happens and out pops your moms words or (re-)actions. And you gasp and stand shocked. Yep.

So i'm thinking Mr. Driscoll is right on the mark when he claims that your children will learn to pray by hearing (or observing) you pray.

You know what's cool?

Jesus did the same for us. Christ gave his disciples (and now us) an example of how they should pray in Matthew 6. He didn't sit down every day and remind them... "this is how you should pray, say this"... he gave them that example and then he lived it out. How did he live it? He prayed. continually. in public.

Don't you think his disciples probably learned how to pray by watching him pray? By hearing him pray? By observing him?

Jesus prayed alone (Mt 14:22-23), before meals and in public (Mt 14:19, 15:36), when tempted, when sorrowful and troubled (Mt 26:36-37), after performing miracles (Mt 14:22-23) ...

on all occasions.

Also, Paul and Silas prayed while in prison; and the other prisoners were listening to them (Acts 16:25). I'm thinking that probably had a HUGE impact on the other prisoners who were listening to them pray in the midst of their situation.

So... prayer. Your children (and other people, fellow believers, friends) need to not only see you praying, but hear you praying. And they will, no doubt, observe you in the midst of your circumstances (ALL of them -no matter what they may be- happy, sad, joyous, troubling). They will learn to pray by hearing and seeing you.... let me reword that.... you will have the opportunity to teach your children how to pray; communicate with the Father.

Think about the example you are setting. And pray. Alone, in public, quietly, outloud, you get the idea. They need to see it all.

Then when they get older they can have an 'o my gosh, i'm praying like my mother' moment. Now wouldn't that be cool?

Rodney Atkins "Watching You"

We got back home and I went to the barn

I bowed my head and I prayed real hard

Said Lord please help me help my stupid self

Then this side of bedtime later that night

Turning on my son's Scooby Doo nightlight

He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees

He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands

And spoke to God like he was talking to a friend

And I said son now where'd you learn to pray like that

He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool

I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you

And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are

We like fixing things and holding mama's hand

Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad

I wanna do everything you do

So I've been watching you

1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray Continually.

Simple Woman

FOR TODAY Tuesday, February 17, 2009...

Outside my window... it is dark and possibly still misting. It started pouring rain this evening just as i was heading out - GREAT!

I am thinking... that i am going to be okay! Right? Right!

I am thankful for... so many things. Food, the clothes on my back, shelter, my bed, healthy conversations, etc.. I feel the desire (and/or conviction) to spend less, share more. For example, i would love a new pair of black sunday shoes; the ones i currently wear are about 4 years old. Would it be okay if i wore them until they were literally falling apart and unwearable? People might look at me funny, but i just might go through with it. We don't need as much as we think we do.

From the learning rooms... i realize that i'm probably not technically supposed to answer this question considering i'm still in school myself, but i'm going to anyways. We just completed Exam 1 for each of my classes this semester and i feel good about them all. I'm worried about this semester because i HAVE to pass each of these classes with a 'C' in order to graduate. I've never had a problem before, but that doesn't mean anything... i need to push myself a little harder. I just haven't gotten into the hang and feel of school this semester - which is nothing new - i usually get the flow as finals roll around.

From the kitchen... the banana bread that James and I made last night is sitting on the counter. I've already had 2 helpings today, but i'm thinking i need one more. I must admit i haven't been helping with the dishes lately. I got stuck in a rut and can't seem to get out. I miss my productive helping attitude - please come back. lol!

I am wearing... black t-shirt, blue jeans, black socks, rather large poofy hair down, and no make up. Just how i like it!

I am creating... nada. Yep, nada. I'm trying to figure out something to say, but i got nothin'.

I am going... to eat a piece of banana bread, yes i am! A nice warm piece of banana bread topped with butter. And then i'm going to head to bed.

I am reading... Can We Talk? Priscilla, and my Bible. Part of my homework (recomendation) is to read Blue Like Jazz - has anyone read this? Care to share any thoughts?

I am hoping... to get some rest tonight and wake up early with a happy productive attitude. I need to get back into the hang/mood/swing of helping around the house. I feel so much better about myself and life when i'm working.

I am hearing... the tv - it's on a commercial right now, but i'm watching Monster In Law. Have you seen it?

Around the house... everyone is asleep except me; including China in the recliner across the room. Laundry needs to be done, kitchen needs to be cleaned/swept really bad, my bathroom is desperate for some attention, and well, my bedroom also. I attempted to clean out the backseat of my car about 2 weeks ago, but the mess just landed on the end of my bed. I push it to the left side and sleep on the right. That is TERRIBLE! I have no excuse to be sitting down - plenty of things to do.

One of my favorite things... my t-shirts. I'm such a plain girl. I really like my black and brown fitted T-shirts. You can wear them with almost anything... and add different accessories each time you wear them. Although i'm pretty routine so everytime i wear them i tend to wear the SAME shoes, necklace, and earrings. I'm working on switching it up.

A few plans for the rest of the week... bible study, adult choir, class, subbing on Friday. I think that's about it.

Here is picture thought I am sharing... Meagan and Casie in high school. I'm not sure which year this was. (Help me out girls?) Casie and I were suppose to go to visit Mea at A&M this past weekend, but Casie got sick and mom said "it wasn't a good idea." I know this doesn't make up for it, but I LOVE YOU MEA! And, one of these days, we will come visit you... promise!

Participate or enjoy other Daybooks here.

creative titles are not my gifting

Do you pray with your children? Do you pray with your spouse? Do you pray infront of your family? Have your children seen you seeking the Lord?

I believe in having a time and place set apart to go and seek the Lord privately. It's so important to have that one on One intimate time with Him. But I think it is equally important for our families (especially your children) to see us doing it openly also. And i'm not just speaking about once a week at church.

Think about your child seeing you on your knees, broken, crying out to the Lord. Have you ever thought about how many doors that would open? What kind of questions would pop up? The conversations you could have? The depth that your relationship could be taken to?

Sometimes (i know for my family) the only time we hear another family member pray is when we're thanking the Lord for our food. And to be honest most of the time it feels like we're doing it just to check it off our 'to do' list. Really?

Last week was stinkin' hard. I don't want to go into details about it because i don't want pity, but it really got me thinkin' about PRAYER.

I heard a woman CRY OUT TO THE LORD more than i've ever heard anyone do over my life. Her faith behind her words and her heart seemed SO powerful, passionate, and real. Man, to be able to pray like that... that's what i want.

I got up the courage to share with my parents all that was going on... knowing how they might respond. And even asked them to pray over me before we went to bed. Then i got to thinking about it....

When is the last time I heard these people pray?

When is the last time they heard or saw me praying?

Do we realize what could happen to this family if we poured our hearts out to the Lord in prayer? If we CRIED out His name?

What happened to bedtime prayers with my parents when i was a child? Exactly why did they end?

I'm thinking we should be less secret with our time with the Father. Yes, have your "quiet" time with Him - the time where it's just You and Him connecting - but don't let that be it. Think of the power that is available to you and your family... and realize that you could have it, if you only prayed.

I don't share this for you to look down on my family or anything. I share it because i want to be REAL with people. I have NOTHING to hide and never want people to think i'm something i'm not. To be genuine, transparent, and real with people is my hearts cry. And that is why i share this.

I'm thinking the enemy probably loves the fact that we've forgotten about praying with our families. That it just kind of slips our minds and we don't even think about it. That we're so busy and totally neglect to do it. I'm sure he's lovin' that. Don't let him have that hold over you - he realizes what would happen if we only prayed.

So, if you feel lead, i challenge you to start praying with your family. To start being real with your family - the parts of you that you sometimes don't want to share. And to stick it out even when it gets hard and you don't feel like it. (and realize you may have to be the one to take the initiative)

And for the parents who think their children are growing up and reaching the age where it's 'uncool' to still say prayers at bedtime with their parents - do it anyways... please. They will thank you later! The enemy wants you to believe that it's uncool and that it doesn't matter - i choose to believe that it does matter.

In the POWERful name of Jesus -

Priscilla Prayer

Can We Talk? Soul-stirring conversations with God by Priscilla Shirer

A prayer taken from pages 96-97

FATHER, Open the eyes of my heart. I want to see clearly and come to a full knowledge of who You have declared me to be. I am grateful to know that I know that in You, my past does not define me; my weakness and past performance do not limit me; and the opinions of others do not restrict Your power in my life. I confess my tendency to allow these things to blind my identity in You. Thank You for redefining who I am. Please enable me to believe what You have spoken over me. Lord, I want to be enlightened to know the great hope of Your calling me, the glorious riches You have for me, the amazing inheritance that You have given me, and the power that is available to me everyday. I refuse to live another day clothed in the very things You died to free me from. This week, as You speak to me through Your Word and whipser to me by Your Spirit, remind me of who I am in You so I can begin to live fully from that place of significance. Uncover the deep hidden recesses of my heart that are filled with the negative and errant strongholds that keep me from recognizing my true identity. Help me to trust in and rely on my God-given image from this day forward. Thank You for taking me from being a pauper to a princess. Now help me to live every day as the royalty that I am in You.

In the name of my Father, the King, AMEN.

Some of my favorite parts of this Bible study have been her meaningful, heartfelt-pleas to our Father.

Miss Kilgore

"I thinked really hard and all my stuff came out my head."

I believe this was my favorite quote of the day! After i asked a kindergarten student (politely) to sit down in his seat and think for a little while of a sentence to write, he came back and told me this statement.

Calling my subbing experience a challenge would be an understatement. Let's face it - i simply do not have the FIRM "i'm in control" look.

The 3rd day that i got scheduled to work i nearly lost my voice because i couldn't figure out a way to speak over the students or get their attention. I tried flipping the lights on and off. I tried raising my hand in the air. I tried counting to 3. I wanted to give up. I went home thinking, 'if yelling is what i have to do to be a teacher then i want no part of it'. There has got to be some other way to discipline a class and show them that you are boss without YELLING! I want to love them. I know that so many teachers don't realize all that goes on at home... sometimes school is the only place for students to get away. They need love there (especially if they aren't getting it at home). We all know that a child's behavior is due to something that is going on in their life. I'm not saying that it is an excuse for their behavior, i'm just saying we need to think about those things and learn who they are so that we can reach them in the most positive beneficial and productive way. But i realize it's not that easy.

I got one student sent to the principal's office with a refferal - and, yes, i felt terrible. I started second guessing and blaming myself.... then mom told me to let it go. He has apologized to me twice. One time it was over a week later when i passed him in the hallway. He stopped me, tapped my arm, and told me he was sorry. I'm thinking the kid really means it. lol.

The more i sub the easier it gets, the more i feel confident, the more i relax, the more i get to know the other teachers and feel okay asking questions, etc.... but still i haven't fallen in love with it yet.

I have this mental picture of the perfect teacher and the relationship she/he has with their students. I lay in my bed thinking about how i will act the following day.... and then i wake up and it's all gone. It's such a challenge, but i trust that He is working something through it all.

(And the extra money will be something i'm totally not used to.)

Don't get me wrong - i love babysitting - and i never expect the same amount of pay from each family that i sit for. I know that each family/parent has a different job, background, story, and situation... i always want them to choose what they can afford or what they believe i deserve (and if that's zero - i'm totally okay with that). I don't look at babysitting as a job. I see it as a growing experience for me to learn things that will help me be a better mom. But i must admit having a set amount that i get payed is going to be so different than what i'm used to. And my savings (i believe) will gladly appreciate it!

I've only subbed at my mom's school - which is such a blessing! - and i've mainly been with the Kindergarten students. Their little faces are becoming so familair. They welcome me with hugs everytime they see me. They even remember my name, although it's not always pronounced correctly. Today was the best day i've had so far - hopefully it will continue to get better.

Well I just wanted to drop in and update you on my SUB experience. Hope you are having a great week! I have homework that I really should get to. And the fun starts... now!