Monday, July 25, 2011

Hope in God

Not sure what is up lately, but I have been in a funk.

One of those, can't put your finger on it, funks.

Truly truly have no idea what's up. There is no stress of work. There is no stress really at all!!! Yet i'm having this ongoing panic/anxiety attack that's been going on for weeks now. Mom had to beat it into my thick head that it was simply an anxiety attack and nothing that I needed to freak out about.... easier said than done.

I've fallen on the floor many times simply because I felt like I needed to release some tears, but yet not sure what for or why.

As my funk seemed to hit a peak last night I remembered my pastors words from that morning, "Sit in silence before the Lord. If you wait there long enough, He will show up."

So... cute and obedient me.... I did.

I sat there.
Tears pouring out of somewhere.
And as I sat it was as if He was saying, "I get it, Megan. I get it."
Which caused more tears.

A friend popped up on my screen to chat and we unloaded ha. Both. Of. Us.

She listened to me. I listened to her. She offered advice. I offered advice.

When I was trying to find and give her some godly, biblical advice I typed in the words God is good. And again the tears just started to well up in my eyes. Even in that moment of hurt and confusion, over i'm not sure what, my soul was clinging to this hope that God is good.

Something about those words.... God is good.... just lit up my soul.

I know that my identity is to be found in Christ and Christ alone. And my heart and soul longs to constantly live in that place where if everything else in life were stripped away, i'm just as content because Jesus is my everything.

I also know that He is faithful. He's proven faithful many many times in the past. Enough to push me forward and trust that I will stand with arms lifted high... Praise the Lord.

As I was reading tonight (and yes, crying, yet again) these words brought a lot of comfort :

Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him....
Psalm 42:11

So although I can't fully pin-point my current funk, I find peace and hope. And I continue to speak the hope-giving words:

Jesus is still the same. And God is good.

Do you have a verse or some godly quote that brings hope to your soul even in the darkest times?


Katy said...

Psalm 62:5-8..on the top of my blog!
Stop by and visit anytime.

CDJ said...

"God is good" is on my cell phone. I see it many times a day - (on the screen and in real life:)

"Cute and Obedient"....I think I've heard someone say that before...

I miss seeing you. What are we singing next? You name it.

Megan said...

CDJ - you are right... totally stole the "cute and obedient" from you! It's just one of my favorite sayings!

You are the great picker outer of songs so YOU TELL ME and i'm game!!

Love you! Let's get togther! No?