Quoting Students

Miss Kilgore, you're a good teacher!

Miss Kilgore, I like being in your class!

I'm soaking up the small surprises in my days. My long, hard, overwhelming days.

update

Just in case you're wondering.....

Today went wonderful!!! :)

I can't express how thankful I am for all the many prayers my friends and family have sent up on my behalf. I prayed over each desk when I entered my classroom this morning and really I was pretty shocked at how calm I was going into the day. God is good!

When I left the building I still had a smile on my face. That says a lot for a first year teacher on her first day. And I say it again, God is so good!

I just hope more of these days revisit my classroom! haha!!

With all that said, I'm about to enter a very challenging year. I was on my feet all day and thought I was going to crash when I finally stopped going at 3:30. Your continued prayers are so much needed and appreciated!

Jesus, praise Your name! I speak Your name into my classroom - guard the doorway and fill the room with Your spirit. Thank You for a wonderful first day! Be my passion, love, and strength. Help me keep going on the days when I think I can't. You are good! And I trust that even though I may not see all that You are doing, You are working something through this year. Remind me of that continually... please. In Your specific, Holy, powerful name - Jesus.

Welcome to First Grade ~

My goal was to make my room feel warm and inviting right as you walk in.... without me even speaking a word. Many people walked in at 'Meet The Teacher' last night and said, "It just feels so homey!"

Atleast one goal is met for this year! :)

Choosing to Trust and Persevere

Have you ever had one of those times in your walk where you felt like God opened a door for you and you just knew you were supposed to walk through it? Then you get a ways down that road and feel as though He may be asking you to go a completely different direction in a few months? But there are no doors open and it's not time to move yet...

I remember the peace that I felt when I started my journey in the certification process. Not only when I started, but a continual peace throughout the summer school, online classes, observations, and testing.

The peace during that time wasn't the only confirmation that I was going in the right direction; there was also evidence of growth.

There was so much going on last year.... it seemed so chaotic, yet there was peace and growth. I remember being at a BarlowGirl concert and one of the girls saying - If you truly choose to follow Christ, no doubt, there will be a period of pruning.

In February, around the time when I was taking my final certification exam, I was sitting at the front desk at work as the stress finally came to a head and tears filled up my eyes. Mom walked up a few minutes later and I explained to her that I knew this is where God wanted me this year, but I almost feel like He brought me here to set me free from some things that were burdening me and to increase my faith only to turn me around and send me in a different direction later.

The certification process that i'm going through takes a year or two depending on when you find a teaching position. For me, it's taking two years. How odd would it look if I stopped in the middle of the process? No doubt, people would question me and think I was crazy. Why in the world would someone not finish?

As crazy as it sounded, I was ready to do that if Christ asked me to.

Here we are months later and no doors have opened in any other direction.... so I press on to that which is open infront of me.

Does that mean I heard Christ incorrectly? Does that mean I completely made up that stirring sense that was on my heart? Does that mean that maybe He didn't speak anything to me at all?

No one knows the answer to that question.

But tonight I came across this in Lysa Terkeurst's book What Happens When Women Walk in Faith (and i'm changing the wording to the present tense) -

Even in this seemingly unimportant time of pruning and trials, God is preparing me for the next step. This "getting ready period" is not a waste of time. It is an important part of fulfilling my calling. Though I can't see much fruit, God is getting my branches ready and healthy enough to hold all He knows is coming.

What that spoke to me was... I don't know what God has ahead for me in the future, but no matter where I am right now, it is neccesary and part of Him working and preparing something in me. I very well might be teaching for the rest of my life and He is just building who I am through that profession. It might be that He is calling me somewhere else and this is my "getting ready period" until the time is right. Nevertheless, I must continue to press on and walk in faith.

And if I recall, perseverance produces character; and character, hope.

Thankful

Mom and I were in my classroom putting up curtains and bulletin boards one day last week and as I was jumping down from one of the bookcases it was like something switched in my head and heart.... and I was immediately thankful.

I have legs. I have youthful young legs that work. I'm able to do things now that I won't be able to do as easily in years to come. And in that moment it wasn't just my mind that was aware, my heart was truly thankful.

It made me want to squat, and bend, and run, and jump, and climb, and push myself harder than I typically push even when I get worn out. All because I am able and may not always be.

So if you don't mind, i'm going to take a moment to be thankful tonight. Thankful for things that we seem to over look. Thankful for things that might sound silly. Nevertheless, thankful.

I am thankful for my sweet mother who has spent hours (sometimes late hours) helping me get things ready in and for my classroom. I'm thankful for the items that she has payed for when I didn't have the money. I am so thankful for her willing heart and how much she loves me. And I am thankful that, for whatever reason, He saw fit for us to be on the same campus again this year.

I am thankful for my job. For a familiar working place, fellow employees, team, students, routine, and campus - I can't tell you the amount of stress that has taken off this first year teacher. I don't know why God placed me here and, honestly, it's been a huge challenge and step of faith, but this is where He has me and I'm learning to trust even when I can't feel certain things.

I am thankful for my God. There are days when i'm just not sure that I am capable of this. And there are days when i'm begging Him to fill me with some kind of something to get me through.... and sometimes He doesn't come right in that moment when I think He should. But in His time, He shows up and I feel revived. I cannot stress enough that this job would not happen without my Jesus. He is, literally, my everything. And I am so thankful for Him.

I am thankful for praying friends. I don't even think I know what to say in response to their prayers, except that I am thankful. They don't just pray - they let me know they are praying... continually. And that is huge.

I am thankful for a free Saturday. Every day between now and the first day of school was packed with somewhere to be and something to do. The activity for this Saturday got cancelled, and I'm choosing to do something non-school before this year takes over. And so for that, I am thankful.

I am thankful that somehow I managed to get my classroom set up, organized, and ready for children to enter before I started work on Wednesday. Now I have an entire week to read through my lesson plans, gather materials, make copies, and finish last minute things that I may have forgotten. And i'm thankful for a helpful first grade team who offered to do my lesson plans the first six weeks so that I can get myself used to the routine of being an actual teacher... not to mention that i'm friends with the teacher whose spot I am taking and she left me all of her files and lesson plans from last year! :)

I am thankful for eyes that realize that I won't always be young. I've reached that age where the reality of getting older is sinking in. For so long growing up is fun, and reaching certain ages is "cool" and all sorts of things.... then it's like it hits you in about your mid-twenties that you are not going to be "young" much longer. For the first time, it's been kinda hard to soak up and swallow. So i'm choosing to be thankful for where I am right now - the single life and freedom to be just me until He sees fit to bring someone along, the flat stretch mark free belly that most women tend to overlook until after they have their first child, the ability to get up at any moment and go hang out with friends without having to find a sitter, the color of my hair before age takes its toll, and many more things.

I don't say these to be weird or to make anyone feel a certain way... i'm just truly thankful this week (as I should be daily) for all that He has blessed me with. I'm going to cease this moment and all that it has to offer me. When the next stage in life comes, it will bring all new things to be thankful for, but I don't want to waste this moment wishing for and wondering what the next moment/stage will be like.

What are you thankful for in your stage and circumstance of life?

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the father through Him. Col. 3:17

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Th. 5:18

Give thank to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever. Ps. 107:1

**I came across this post at Chatting at the Sky. You should definitely check it out.

Winding Down

I have spent the past 2 or 3 weeks in my classroom trying to get things ready. It's all starting to run together so much that I can't remember if it has been two weeks or three. There are still so many little things that need to be done and last night the stress finally hit me.

It could be the mere fact that today is my last "official" day of summer which means it's my last free day to work in my room organizing and planning.

I left my classroom around nine or ten last night with every single table piled high with books that need to be put back into my closet. That right there gives me all kinds of anxiety.

Not to mention, I received an email from one of my supervisors (i guess that's what she is called) at Region 7 (where I got my certification) saying that my certificate won't go through until my district sends in the information...... really? really? really?

Totally handed that information over to my district to finish signing and do their part over a month ago. Once again... all kinds of anxiety.

I've held it together pretty well up to this point. Or let me rephrase that, the Lord has held me together. I told my mother to keep sending the prayers my way because they were totally working.

But now i'm starting to get stressed. This is where you insert that scripture you've heard your entire life...

Do not be anxious, about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your request to God; and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Lord Jesus, I'm not sure I have even paused this morning to ask for Your peace.... but I come to You now admitting that I cannot do this without You and Your peace. I come to you thanking You for the many people who have encouraged, prayed, and given to me during this time and I thank You for this door that You have opened.... i'm not sure why You have me here, but I beg You to open my eyes to those moments every day so that I don't miss You. Be my courage, my confidence, my peace, my desire, my joy, my everything. I need You, Jesus. Let Your peace guard my heart and my mind in Your specific Holy powerful name - Jesus.

Making Progress

So I know that I said I wanted you to "travel with us through pictures" but I'm going to pause that for a second.... because this is my blog and i'm the boss :)

My first day back at school isn't technically until August the 11th, but it might as well have already begun because i'm up there everyday frantically trying to get my room the way I want/need it to be.

Here is my first glance into my new classroom.

Do you know where to begin? Because I stood there for about 3 days going, ummm...I'm all about decorating and organizing any space that I get to call "mine" so I had already thought through the lay out and sketched it on paper throughout the summer. When I got in the room I pretty much threw 3/4's of that plan out the window and started fresh.

I knew that I wanted my bookshelves and cubbies to look uniform so I decided to spray paint all of them black. Number one - spray paint is super quick. Number two - black looks so sharp.

From the very beginning my colors were going to be black, white, and red; Mavericks... and Megan's favorite color scheme :)

After about two weeks of thinking and moving and thinking and moving and almost breaking down into tears and praying... I finally figured out the layout for the fifty objects in my classroom.

And then we started to make huge visual progress - curtains and bulletin boards were covered.

Here is mom putting paper on my boards. She wouldn't let me up there. Something about i'm too short and I might fall.... whatevs.

Curtains - that my wonderful mother made for me.And here are two of my black bookshelves and cubbies after we painted them. Notice they are empty. Yeah.

With all that said, i'm so thankful that I can actually see proof that i've been in my room now. So much of it are little things here and there and you can't tell anything has been done. Tomorrow i'll spend majority of my day hanging the few posters that I call important and then going through that huge storage closet in the back..... that'll take a while.

Could you pray for this year? I want His presence and spirit to be in my classroom. Just as much for me as my students. And I can't possibly do this, any part of this whole teaching thing, without Him.

Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.