I remember the peace that I felt when I started my journey in the certification process. Not only when I started, but a continual peace throughout the summer school, online classes, observations, and testing.
The peace during that time wasn't the only confirmation that I was going in the right direction; there was also evidence of growth.
There was so much going on last year.... it seemed so chaotic, yet there was peace and growth. I remember being at a BarlowGirl concert and one of the girls saying - If you truly choose to follow Christ, no doubt, there will be a period of pruning.
In February, around the time when I was taking my final certification exam, I was sitting at the front desk at work as the stress finally came to a head and tears filled up my eyes. Mom walked up a few minutes later and I explained to her that I knew this is where God wanted me this year, but I almost feel like He brought me here to set me free from some things that were burdening me and to increase my faith only to turn me around and send me in a different direction later.
The certification process that i'm going through takes a year or two depending on when you find a teaching position. For me, it's taking two years. How odd would it look if I stopped in the middle of the process? No doubt, people would question me and think I was crazy. Why in the world would someone not finish?
As crazy as it sounded, I was ready to do that if Christ asked me to.
Here we are months later and no doors have opened in any other direction.... so I press on to that which is open infront of me.
Does that mean I heard Christ incorrectly? Does that mean I completely made up that stirring sense that was on my heart? Does that mean that maybe He didn't speak anything to me at all?
No one knows the answer to that question.
But tonight I came across this in Lysa Terkeurst's book What Happens When Women Walk in Faith (and i'm changing the wording to the present tense) -
Even in this seemingly unimportant time of pruning and trials, God is preparing me for the next step. This "getting ready period" is not a waste of time. It is an important part of fulfilling my calling. Though I can't see much fruit, God is getting my branches ready and healthy enough to hold all He knows is coming.
What that spoke to me was... I don't know what God has ahead for me in the future, but no matter where I am right now, it is neccesary and part of Him working and preparing something in me. I very well might be teaching for the rest of my life and He is just building who I am through that profession. It might be that He is calling me somewhere else and this is my "getting ready period" until the time is right. Nevertheless, I must continue to press on and walk in faith.
And if I recall, perseverance produces character; and character, hope.