Thursday, November 4, 2010

Thankful - weakness

As I was getting in the bed the other night I was fine one second and the next thing I know a horrible pain shot through my neck. I thought I was stuck with my chin to my left shoulder. for.ever.

After listening to my wise mother, who just so happens to be a nurse, I decided to go to the chiropractor for my very first appointment ever. The thought of being adjusted completely stressed me out. Trusting someone with my neck... my neck... that's an anxiety attack waiting to happen. that's what that is.

When he looked at my x-rays he pointed to some torn or messed up area in my neck and asked if I was in a car wreck at some point in my life.

If that's not encouraging then i'm not sure what else is.

To hear that at age 23 was a little less than fun.

His answer for my problem was clearly going to be a natural way back to healing. Three visits a week, electro-lite massages (which are so not relaxing), and physical therapy. And a very poor, poor Megan. That's my funds speaking.

My words were so joyful when I left.... this is perfect... perfect. It's already impossible to get everything done that is expected of me at work and that's without any thing else going on in my life, but now, oh noooooooww i'm suppose to find time to come to the doctor 3 times a week and on top of that do therapy and/or stretches at home 3 times a day. I'll be sure to squeeze that in, you know in between the documenting, lesson planning, grading...

Today as I was getting in my car after my appointment knowing that I left my room in complete chaos and had nothing planned for tomorrow, and headed to a wonderful night of worship and rehearsal, I just let the tears flow and confessed...

okay, i get it. i am not able. i am weak. help.

Life could not get more stressful or overwhelming. or so i thought. Yet here we are.

And I pause to say that life may be stressful and completely overwhelming, but my God is good. I would not still be functioning if it weren't for Him. I refuse to believe that any situation is to be endured without abundance or joy. The enemy will not rob me of a precious gift from Him. But I am not afraid to admit that it's challenging and very tough.

When I dried up my tears and got to rehearsal, with some precious women, I soon realized that each of our lives and weeks were very similar.

We are weak.

We committed to this weekend a few weeks back and you would think that the one time we need to be well and rested and strong would be this weekend. But here each of us are... extremely human and weak women preparing for a weekend to worship the Lord with a bunch of other women.... who I would guess are equally as weak.

So today I am thankful for the reminder that He only allows us to be weak so that His glory and strength may be REVEALED in us. And that He wouldn't allow it unless He was going to use it for our good.

Jesus, prepare us as we head into this weekend. May each of these women, including myself, come into this weekend real. Give us the courage to simply be real with ourselves and with each other... even if that may seem not normal or painful. We need real in our lives. I am thankful that You are real ALWAYS. Help us to take off our super woman capes and masks and just admit that it's only because of You and through You that we are able to do anything at all. Reveal yourself through and to us. Meet us in that moment and open our eyes to who You are.... You, in all your realness. Please Lord, prepare our hearts... prepare my heart. In the specific, powerful name of Jesus Christ.

3 comments:

The Roberts Family said...

I hope you feel better soon Megan! I can't wait to hear you gals singing at Reveal!
Love you friend!

Meagan Joye said...

Confession: I love grading papers. [Nerd Alert] When I was in Jr. High, I used to go to my history teacher's classroom during lunch and grade papers for her and she bought me pizza. So, if you ever have a bunch of papers to grade and need some help, I got your back, girl! As long as you buy me pizza.

Ok, just kidding about the pizza. :)

Marsha said...

I loved this post. It is so familiar to me. I've had this same experience many times over in the last 11 years. God bless you as you learn from Him in your weakness. It is a sanctifying time that is for sure. But then that's what trials are all about, right?