Wednesday morning I took the TExES Exam (used to be the ExCET Exam) for my Teaching Certification. Instead of making a short story really long i'll just come out and tell you.
I didn't pass.
A passing score is 240. I scored a 233.
Honestly, i'm okay. My faith is being strengthened throughout this process and if that's the whole point for Him bringing this into my life then i'm all for it.
Instead of boring you with all the details about the test I'm going to share everything that I like to think is the hand of God in this situation.
A year ago I was absolutely terrified as May approached. My major was so broad, I felt like I had zero direction for my life. I decided to lay it down and trust that He would reveal and provide for me when His timing was right; no matter if I made a few wrong turns on the journey.
Originally I was a Vocal Performance major so I have over 2 years worth of music hours. When I decided to change my major to University (General) Studies they let me keep my original advisor who just happened to be the Dean of the School of Music.
As my final semester approached and the time came to register for classes he sent me an e-mail recomending a few classes that he thought i'd enjoy. One of them was a Music for Elementary Education class.
With zero desire, clue, or direction I just hopped on board with his suggestion. As you probably already know, I ended up absolutely loving that class.
Halfway through the semester a friend mentioned the Alternative Teaching Preparation and Certification Program through Region 7 to me. I really didn't think too much of it and never thought I had the courage/ability to teach. My schedule worked out so that I was able to substitute teach while attending my last semester of college.
God used that experience to teach me so much.
During the month of May I was offered a long term sub position for a kindergarten paraprofessional. Basically this means I was in the classroom with the teacher throughout the day doing different things to help out. Most of the time I wasn't fully paying attention to all that she was teaching the students, but even though I wasn't aware, my mind was absorbing all that she was doing.
The TExES Exam is a different kind of test. It gives you different scenarios, asks you steps you would take to teach different age students different concepts, lots of meated questions that involve some deep thinking. It's not a test that you sit down and just work out some formulas to get the answers. Many education students spend months preparing for this Exam. I had about 2 weeks.
When I went to take the practice Exam I completely aced the Music section because it was everything that I had learned in the course that i'd just finished; that my advisor recommended. Is that not neat how God worked that out before it was ever even a thought in my mind?
A ton of the questions I was able to correctly answer because I could hear the teacher that I subbed with for the month of May in the back of my mind. Who knew that i'd been soaking it in subconciously?
A few nights before my Exam a friend who is a principle called to ask me a question and I told her how my Exam was coming up. Five months ago we weren't even aware that the other existed, but because of God's timing and plan He worked it out. She was able to tell me what was most important to study.
And all those hours onf subtituting that I did these past 5 months count towards half of my Field Based Experienced hours.
I just think it's so neat that I had no clue where I was going, yet He worked things out without me ever even having the slightest clue that He was doing so. I was kind of just going through the motions, yet all along He had a plan behind it all.
There is still a part of me as I sit here tonight that wonders if i'm called to be a teacher and I could let it bother me if I wanted to.... but i'm learning that He is faithful and He is soveriegn. He works things out whenever I take the wrong turn. He opens doors. He provides the Way. He strengthens. And He is worthy of my trust.
The fact that I didn't pass the test rules out the possibility of me teaching in August. I can still do the July classes, the online courses, and everything else... I just won't have my year of Internship behind me.
But I am confident that He knows what He is doing and i'm absolutely at peace. In His timing i'll pass the test and i'll find a job somewhere. In the meantime I continue to learn more about who He is through this process. It was never about me finding a job or career in the first place - it's about Him. Who knows what He is doing and what His plans are.
I am just so thankful that He is faithful despite who I am.
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