The other day as I was driving home from work I was thinking about how exhausted I have been the past week. When I get home in the evenings I have to keep myself going; if I sit down there's the possibility that I won't get back up. ha.
There was a coffee cup on one of our teacher's desk that said, "three reasons to teach = June, July, August". And now it has officially occurred to me why there are three months of summer. Because this job is extremely challenging and draining.
You need those three months to relax and get it all back together again. But the good thing is when school begins again the passion always comes back.
You work with groups of children. All with different needs, backgrounds, experiences, learning styles. And somehow you attempt to meet them where they are developmentally and teach in a way that hits each of them. bah. I can't even think of a word to throw out... haha.... my mouth just goes BAH.
Then you throw in parents. Some of whom (is it okay to say most of whom) aren't even existent in their children's lives and hold you accountable for things that you shouldn't be.
In a sense - we raise kids.
It can be so overwhelming at times (and make you wonder why the heck you are there in the first place).
Because they need love. And some of them won't get it anywhere else.
I have to constantly remind myself that I have no idea what is going on at home.... because in some moments, on some days, it's the only thing that keeps me going.
Friday morning I am scheduled to take my last exam for my education certification. When I read over the notes I still sense a passion and excitement for this field, but it's still such a challenge. And clearly draining. Mix that with Martha Monthly and you have one extremely tired girl.
Today without even bringing up the topic one of the first grade teachers threw out in mid-sentence, "you're going to do fine... you know this stuff... quit stressing." And I just breathed in a sigh of relief and kept going. Guess it was written all over me. ha. Apparently I live in denial when it comes to stress. I was thankful that she made me aware of it so that I was able to deal with it properly.
And I will be okay.
I feel so stressed out, but I know that it will all be okay... no matter the outcome... because I know the One who holds me and directs me. And He is far bigger than anything that makes me weary.
My test location is not in this town... so i'm leaving for the next 3 days and making a girls weekend out of this exhausting week.
My car now has 4 new tires, new license plate bulbs, a front alignment, oil change and is filled up with gas. The life of a growing, working woman who is learning to pay her own way. sigh.
So the point of this random post is to ask for your prayers. Friday morning at 8 AM - PPR exam. If you think about it, I would really appreciate it. And I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! I'm off to pack and get some more studying in. There aren't enough hours in this day. :)
Lord God, I ask for Your rest as I approach this test. I'm so very tired... and starting to feel the stress. I trust You with the outcome and I want You to have Your way. You know what is best for me and I don't want it any other way. Be with me as I travel and spend this weekend away. I need You. And I love You. Thank You for all that You have taught me and continue to teach me on this journey. May it take root and be used for You.