Undeserving

I know that no one has probably been missing me or even worried about where I have been lately, but just incase one of you is.... things have been a little rough, crazy, all of the above in just about every area of my life here lately.

The break from Blogger wasn't intended, but not gonna lie, much needed.

In regards to...

my health - I'm on my fourth round of antibiotics (over the past month) and frankly, i'm ready to be better again.

my (calling) job - I feel as though i'm drowning currently.... my brain hit its two month shut down mode this past week and the tears broke through. Soooo very thankful that I know this is where God wants me or else I might join all the others who are looking for other careers. I love what I do, but that doesn't mean I agree or like where education is headed. That's another post - i'll spare you.

my spirit - well..... just pray.

Friday night Kayla and I had a girls night in. We rode the ranger down the street to the general store to order some pizza as well as get some drinks and ice cream-ish dessert. After we finished our supper at Kayla's Traila, we filled in our calendars and made some decisions as far as races that we would like to conquer in the near future.

We decided to space out some races to keep us motivated and moving. Starting with a 5k in March, 10k in May and then we still have to finalize when the half marathon will be. I'm so so so so very excited!

We ordered a movie and enjoyed just being lazy!!! (and I did not grade a single paper.... okay, so I did)

Saturday China and I spent about four hours in my classroom trying to break through the surface of the water that I was clearly drowning in. China was past ready to go home so we took a little break for fresh air outside - the weather was so nice!

Finally, we headed back home and I was pleasently surprised to find that my bedroom was not only spotless, but had been freshly vacuumed. Tears filled up my eyes as I recalled how utterly disgusting, embaressing and horrible the previous state of my bedroom was. It was a serious moment of overwhelming thankfulness.

undeserved.

And to think, I just sat with her in the kitchen and chatted for a few minutes and she didn't mention anything. There was no guilt pushed on me for how terrible it was. And no ounce of her seeking praise. Zero mention.

There were mounds and mounds of clothes that I just kept stepping over and stepping on. I had run out of options as far as outfits to wear to work (and that's says a lot because this chick has got some clothes). I desperately needed to do laundry.

I'm sure my mother had far better things to do on a Saturday - especially with the beautiful weather. But she took the time to do something for me knowing she may not get anything in return.

As I stood in my bathroom and thanked the Lord outloud I thought of how this looked a lot like His mercy and grace. Something we totally don't deserve yet He lavishes upon us knowing that He may not get anything in return.

Unmerited. Undeserved.

I don't think anyone will realize how very thankful I am that my mother took the time to clean my bedroom. It had reached a peek - so high a peek that I wasn't sure when I would find the time or motivation to conquer it. And goodness knows, I haven't helped her enough to deserve what she did for me.

Thank You, Jesus for the thoughtfulness and selfless love of my mother. Even with the many things going on in my life I didn't deserve for someone to take the time to clean my mess for me. I am blessed. And You are good!