Beauty in Seasons

I've heard it said that there is beauty in every season.

Each season holds its own challenges, but also it's own joys.

I don't know about you, but for me it's much easier to notice, and focus on, the challenges rather than the joy and beauty that each season brings.

My grandfather (we call him Papa), has Parkinson's disease.  The past few weeks have been anything but joy-filled.

In case you aren't familiar with this disease, here are some facts:

Parkinson disease (PD) is a progressive movement disorder marked by tremors, rigidity, slow movements (bradykinesia), and posture instability. It occurs when cells in one of the movement-control centers of the brain begin to die for unknown reasons. (http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Parkinson+disease)

Some symptoms that you might see are slowed motion, rigidity of muscles, tremors, changes in speech (slurring, hesitating, repeating words), Impaired posture, imbalance, problem with automatic movements and changing of facial expressions, lack of blinking, difficulty walking, stooping posture, shuffling gait, postural instability, impaired balance, impaired coordination, and difficulty swallowing.
( http://www.patientsmedical.com/healthaz/parkinsons/default.aspx)

One of the most frustrating things for me is watching Papa attempt to do something that he use to do so well.  He knows how to do it, but his brain and body won't work together to let him do it anymore.

Helpless.

We were down at his house a few weeks ago singing around the piano while he sat in his recliner listening.  My papa, the best piano player you will ever hear, struggled to get out of the chair, "I recognize that tune.  I want to play."

I stood to the side, knowing that he wouldn't be able to do it, fighting back tears.  We moved him to the bench where he sat and tried his best to bang out the notes.

I snapped this picture because it's been years since he has even sat at the piano bench.  The last time he got so frustrated that he couldn't play, he declared he'd never do it again.  I wanted so bad to snap my fingers and make his brain work to tell his fingers what to do, but his body simply couldn't move to play the notes that his brain recognized as a 'familiar tune'.

On Monday (two weeks ago) he told my mom to pick out his burial suit.

Tired. Done. Fight over.

On Friday of the same week, he fell.  Within an hour his fever spiked, vitals dropped, and he became completely unresponsive.  He was put on a ventilator and all family was called to the hospital.  "Papa has taken a turn for the worse.  You need to head here as soon as you can."

Not my favorite phone call.

Amazingly, he is home today with home health and still fighting.  That long weekend was overwhelming, but it taught me some things.

There is beauty in every season... Sometimes you just have to be intentional in looking for it.

While I hate to watch my Papa helplessly live, I love to watch my father selflessly give.  I can't even put to words how beautiful it is to watch your own dad drop his work schedule and any "hobbies" to serve his father-in-law.  He is truly being the hands and feet of Jesus.

The nurse asked my mother the day we were leaving the hospital, "Is that man that was just in here your husband?  Because they have the sweetest relationship.  It has been a blessing to watch them interact."  I wish that you all could watch them interact as well.  It is truly a sweet thing to see.

 (My sister holding my papa's hand - one of his favorite things to do)

The truth is, Papa will not get better... he will continue to get worse.  And while that seems cruel to me, I know that He is good and there is beauty to be found.  That doesn't mean there won't be tears and frustration, but it does mean that He will hold us on the days that we can't hold ourselves, give us more grace, be our strength, and open our eyes to things we never imagined to see.

I am choosing today to trust that He will show me the beauty.


Do you need to adjust your thinking and focus in your current season of life?
Do you need to ask for intentional eyes?
Start today believing that He will show you. 
He. Is. Good.

Dream, Predict, Plan... The Day My Sister Gets Married

You dream about this day since you were a tiny little girl.  You wonder if you know the man you'll end up marrying, if he is right beside you the entire time, if you go to the same high school, or if it's a complete stranger.  You plan your wedding years before it's actually time.

and then you blink.

It's here.

Casie is the best sister and friend I could ever ask for.  The Lord knew exactly what He was doing when He made us sisters.

It's hard to put in words all that my sister means to me.  I wish I could really express it to you, but I can't.

Although she is younger than me, I look up to her in many ways.

She has a smile that lights up any room.  She has been the person I go to in any situation.  She is the best listener and has never once made me feel judged - even if it's a silly doubt that most people get annoyed with, laugh at, or even roll their eyes at... she is patient with me and acts as if she understands.  She.Is.There.

She is a true friend who will get up in the middle of the night if you need her.  I've seen it countless times when friends call her in the late night/early morning hours in a crisis cause they don't know who else to call.

She cries with me when I need to cry.  She listens when I need to vent.  She prays for me when I can't pray for myself.

She is my best friend.

Jordan is marrying one of the most genuine people i've ever met.  She doesn't pretend to know all the answers or be someone she is not.  She will love him honestly and whole-heartedly, and will always have his back.  He is truly a lucky man.

Casie and I have a prediction wall on the inside of our bathroom cabinet where we make predictions of who each other is going to marry.  It's so fun having a sister :)  When I added mine to the wall I told her, "I WILL BRING THIS OUT AT YOUR WEDDING! Cause mine is right!!"  And I did just that.  I showed it when I gave my Maid of Honor Speech last night.

We have known that Jordan and Casie would get married for years and really he is already considered part of our family.  As cliche as it sounds, I truly cannot picture her with anyone else.

While i'm so not ready for her to move out and will miss her even though she is only ten minutes away.... I love them both and am truly happy for them.

Jordan, thank you for loving my sister!

And Casie,  YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!

A Change Gon' Come

It's as if the Lord decided I needed change in my life.

Notice I didn't say A change because that would imply that one thing in my life is changing.  No, friends, nearly every thing in my life is changing.

I recently got a job in a new district teaching Kindergarten (a new grade).  That obviously means a whole lot of new.  New friends, new students, new school, new classroom and furniture, new procedures and routines, new, new, new.  I know one person going into this year... and that is a bit frightening. 

But apparently i'm about to get over that real quick ha :)


 If you are friends with me on facebook you are very aware, probably more than you'd like to be, that my younger sister is getting married in four short days.  And about two weeks ago I finally realized that we are facing the first big "season change"...

I seriously bawled my stinkin' eyes out when I wrote my Maid Of Honor Novel, I mean speech, because it finally hit me - We are no longer in our "childhood".  We are officially grown up and will never live together again.  My sister is moving out, never to occupy the room next to me ever again.  We will never share a bathroom and cry and laugh and vent while the other uses the restroom or bathes.  When I stay out late at Mark's I won't come home to the lamp on so that I can see walking up the stairs.

so. much. change.

I think I cried all of my tears this past weekend so that hopefully I won't ruin the wedding with the ugly cry.

Please do not misunderstand me!  I am so very happy for my sister and know that this is the right time and completely God's will.  It's just going to be a big change... a part of life that we have just reached.  And i'm clinging to Jesus every step of the way.  I've always heard about getting older and embracing the joys in the different seasons of life.  It's a completely different thing to actually be standing at the door to said season.

And so I anxiously wait to see all that God does in these short weeks and all the many changes.

Our week is busy and full.... we would love your prayers as we squeeze in every moment of our time together :)

Love you all!

lately.

I'm not going to apologize for being a terrible blogger because it annoys me when people do that in.every.post.  We all get busy in different seasons of our lives and the posts slow way down. 

That is my life right now.

My sister gets married in less than three weeks and the "last weeks frantic-ness" has completely set in.  We got all her pictures edited, picked out, sized, printed, and put in frames. 

thank.good.ness. 

Totally breathed a whole heck of a lot easier when that was done.

My next job was to create invitations for one of her showers that the bridesmaids are hosting.  Did that last week (about a week later than I wanted), addressed the envelopes and sent them out.  Speaking of - we are so past the days of RSVP's.... many people have told me they got them and are coming, but zero have actually RSVP'ed. 

 Anyways, moving on.

The activities/food/games for the party are mentally prepared, but I haven't had a chance to actually gather all the items needed.  That's the next step.

On top of that, i'm helping decorate their new house.  Which is so very exciting, but again "'can I have more hours in my days?"

My weekends are full of showers where I sit in a chair, next to my sister, with my cute notebook and write out "Givers and Gifts" for thank you notes.  I smile for the camera while jokingly saying, "Maid of Honor Duties!!"

Maid.Of.Honor.Duties.

I never knew how time-consuming it was actually going to be.  I love my sister more than anything and love that I can help so much.  Truly... it's nice to be needed some times  :)

The stressful issue right now:  school.

With all this other going on, not to mention waiting to hear interview final results, I haven't been able to work in my room.  I went for the first time last week, took pictures, and then came home to layout my classroom on paper. 

I've tried three times to figure out the placement of my furniture and just stare at the paper.  I've never had a hard time arranging furniture and laying out a room.  It's like one of my favorite things.  But this one has got me.  So like every stressed out girl does.... I cried.

There is just a lot of change in my life and it's getting close to the weeks where it's actually going to affect me.  Losing a sister, gaining a brother.  Getting used to not sharing a bathroom, helping her pick out her clothes, doing her hair, and all the other that comes from our super close relationship.  Being the only one on this side of the hall upstairs.  Moving schools.  Moving rooms.  Moving Grades.  Making new friends (which I don't do well).

It's all too much. lol

It sure helps to write it all out though doesn't it?

God is good.
He is for me.
He is with me. every. step. of the way.

Sorgee Family

Doesn't this picture look like one of those posters?  You know, the ones with the definition below it?  LOVE IT!! Meet Amber and Jason... and their children!!  Jason is Mark's brother and my first to shoot at this new location a friend told me about!  I'm posting a few favorites from their shoot over on my Photography Blog!  Click here to read the post!

Summer Agenda

School is officially out and I have so much that I want, and plan, to do over my summer weeks.

work.

If you are wondering about how the interview went... it went good.  I have semi-good-news.  It's still up in the air and that's makes it so very hard for me to rest mentally.  There are a few things that have to play out and because of that I can't share anything here yet.  I realize that God already knows the outcome, but will you pray for me as I wait for Him to reveal that to me?

Because of that - I have put all of my school projects on hold.  I'm mentally preparing to stay in Marshall, but I just can't prepare anything since nothing is official.

hobby.

My photography "business" has picked up the past few weeks.  I did my sisters bridal portraits; just finished editing them tonight!  We took about 500 pictures and mom, thankfully, narrowed it down to 21 favorites.  That made it so much easier to edit!  Five hundred is a bit overwhelming!!

I did a photoshoot with Mark's brothers family at my favorite location yet!  Have to edit those this week!  And then I have two more shoots planned this summer! 

It is so neat, and encouraging, for me to look back over all my pictures and see how much i've learned.  I plan to organize all of the "office" stuff for my photography this summer so that it saves time when I have shoots during the school year!  When I get married I really want an office to house all my photography stuff - why does that excite me?!

dream.

When I entered college I was a Music Major with a Vocal Scholarship.  I knew that I wanted to sing and that was about it.  Strangely, I never felt secure with that degree.  What would I do with it?  My biggest dream is to lead worship, but I don't need a piece of paper to do that.  So after two years I switched majors.

I always kind of felt that the Lord would open that door eventually.  And He has... in what some would consider small ways, but so very big for me.  To me it doesn't matter the venue, I just love worship!

I lead worship for a women's event back in November and now I am leading worship every Monday night for The Landing; the youth section of Celebrate Recovery - a program to help people overcome hurts, habits, and hang ups.  And that seemed like a huge run-on. 

So the agenda... I am incharge of designing a shirt, helping with publicity, and then of course, worship.  I'm hoping to plan a few weeks in advance (kind of as a spring-board of ideas for the future) and save them, again, to help when the school year starts again. 

relationship.

and then my sweet man :) 

It's been about four years since I have actually claimed to be in a relationship.  I've gone on dates here and there, but nothing official.  Mark and I have been dating for about 6 months now and I am so thankful for him.  He supports and encourages me like no one else.  He challenges me to be more productive simply by being his normal 30 year old productive self.  He makes me laugh straight from the belly every single time we are together.  And he fits in with my family as if he were already a member. 

So on the agenda for us is to continue to pray for our relationship - to seek the Lord's will and timetable.  We are in the process of reading the bible through and just recently switched Sunday School classes so that we could attend one together. 

There it is... my agenda and life as of now.

Thank You, Lord, for seasons where everything seems to just fit.  I know there are difficult seasons, but I am thankful for seasons of "spring and summer".  Thank You for holding my life in Your hands... for carrying out Your plans for me.  I have waited many years for some of these dreams to play out and I am so thankful for learning about You each step of the way.  I wouldn't change any of it!  You are good!  Be with the outcome of school for next year - You know my desire, but I trust Your plan.  Be with CR and all the students who walk through those doors.  Continue to guide Mark and I - we want You to be the center and foundation for our relationship!  We can't do it without You!  I love you so very much! In the specific, powerful name of Jesus.

Bittersweet.

Well, it's official...

I have an interview tomorrow.  At 1:45 to be exact.  Which is a way random time if you ask me.  Why not like 1:30 or 2:00 to even it out?

But really that's besides the point because.... I HAVE AN INTERVIEW!

I am so stinkin' excited!!!

There is a little piece of me that never saw this coming and never thought it would actually happen and so the thrill of it actually coming to is just neat-oh!  And now I realize that since i've told you about having an interview you will also hear about whether or not it came through.  Which is also free-ing.  What a way to let go of a little insecurity by blaring your business for all to hear! 

The outcome is in God's hands!  I truly believe and trust that!  I'm just super-pumped about the interview right now!

And before you go blaring anything on my facebook, I would appreciate it if it just stays here on the blog.  I realize this is a public place and any of my fb friends can get this link, but really and truly I don't see that happening.  I think most of my followers that read on a regular basis are non-facebook people.  So check back here if you are wondering about results or anything - instead of asking questions or posting on facebook!  I'd appreciate that mucho!

In my last post I mentioned alot about how my middle name is so not change, but that I prefer to stay nice and comfortable.  Well, i'm realizing that change is good for me.  Change often grabs the hand of Challenge and brings her along also.  And well, who doesn't like a challenge every now and then?

So packing up and moving isn't so much a bad thing for the third time in a row.  Especially when you get a thrill from organizing, decorating, and arranging furniture.  I'll be much more motivated to get things done in my classroom since it's a "new" place.

Oh.... I forgot to tell yall....

This is the sad part about the change.

The other day I was taking down all of my bulletin boards and posters in my classroom so that I could pack away my cute letters my mother made for me.  Those took her hours to make so you best believe i'm re-using them. 

I had a Birthday Graph with all my students birthdays as well as mine and any other support staff at the school. It was very easy for me to rip off their names and throw them in the trash, but when I got to Miss Kilgore and Nurse Kilgore.... almost bawled my eyes out.

You see, mom and I have had the priviledge of working together for the past three years.  A priviledge that i'm going to miss so very much.  I don't need her in order to function at work by any means.  I'm just incredibly blessed to be able to not only live with my mother, sing with my mother, lead worship with my mother, but also work with my mother.  In a world where so many families are ripped apart, I am truly thankful to have such a good relationship with my mom.  Not many people can work with their mother on a daily basis.  I am blessed.

So that is going to be the hardest part of this "new step". 

No more of people getting confused on who to call on the intercom, or who to send the email to, or which box is Nurse Kilgore's and which box is regular Kilgore's.  No more kids asking me if I'm Nurse Kilgore's daughter and why we have the same name.  Speaking of - Mark and I went to a water park this weekend and a parent came up to me and asked, "Are you Nurse Kilgore's daughter?"  See... no more of that.  :(

I enjoy seeing her face every day.  I enjoy sitting with her at lunch.  I enjoy sharing all of my children's successes with her almost instantly after they happen. 

It will be bittersweet.

We are both facing a change.  She is moving also.  So pray for both of us if you don't mind.  Mom as she is being forced to move and learn a new job.  And me as I interview and then figure out where the Lord wants me.

Wednesday. 1:45.

Thanks. And peace :)

Capturing Moments

Here are the links to the three new posts I put up this afternoon...

Twins
Maddox Portraits
Maggie Portraits

Please give any feedback as I always wish to know what others think/want when it comes to my pictures!  It can only help me to get better - which in turn works out better for youuuuu (my "clients")!  Thanks a ton!

All Crazy-Like

My life is crazy yall!

I forget how stinkin' busy April and May are each year.  Schedules get packed beyond what you thought was possible and somehow you wake up and it's June. 

Hello.June.

Let me just give you a quick update on all that is/has been going on lately.

April 24 - Mark turned 30. I know he totally looks eighteen, twelve with a hat on, but yes - he turned 30!  I told him i'm going to have to start answering him "sir" since he is such a man now.  We went to a Dallas Mavericks Game and had wonderful seats very close to the floor.  Then we had a crawfish boil with his family, my family, and a few of his friends the next evening.

April 28 - I took pictures of 8 month old twins and I can.not. wait to show you how precious they were/are.  They were so content!  I was concerned about whether or not they would try to crawl all over the place and if they would scream at this stranger with a camera all up in their space, but they were perfect!  Life has seriously been so busy that what usually takes me a week to edit has taken me a whole month.  I'll post pictures as soon as i'm finished with them!

May 5 - My sister graduated from college on my 25th birthday.  We celebrated both by touring the Parade of Homes.... okay so maybe that wasn't a big celebration for everyone, but i'm counting it as one because hello I love to look at peoples homes.  I'm the kind of person that walks in and immediately wants a tour and then I start laying out your furniture in my head.  I just love to see how people decorate and etc.. back to the big weekend.  We celebrated by going to the lake for a nice boat ride.  And then we had dinner at a restaraunt on the lake. (Am I the only person who struggles with spelling that word - the place where you eat food?)

May 7 - We had our first night of Celebrate Recovery.  Which is another post entirely in itself.  More later.

May 12 - We had a family reunion in Pineville, Louisiana.  It's the first one in like fifteen years.  And I was reminded how very awakward I am in big groups and I wanted to just sit in my little lawn chair and be content.  No really, we had a good time!  It's always a little bit weird meeting all these people who are in your family yet with whom you aren't real familair. But yet, when you leave there is a strange connection and sadness because, well, you are family.

May 19 - We (Mom, Dad, Casie, Mark, and I) loaded the truck and made the long trek to Lubbock.  We arrived just as the sun was starting to set and man was it beautiful!  No trees to block the gorgeous view.  Just endless nothingness. Beautiful nothingness!  We toured the Texas Tech campus on  Saturday (where I took tons of pictures of the pretty flowers, trees, and old buildings) and went to Jordan's graduation that afternoon.  Somehow we managed to get back in the car, feeling a little crazy-like from all the hours we had just spent in there what seemed like moments before, and headed home.

And now we reach today... End of the Year parties were today and tomorrow is the last day of school!  Of course, we have small groups until June 5th, but that's a breeze compared to forcing a classroom full of six and seven year olds to stay inside when their bodies are screaming for Summer. 

We are wrapping up the end of another school year and yet again, changes.  This girl who really likes comfort and not so much change is facing changes at the end of her third school year in a row.  I go from aide, to moving into the classroom, to almost getting moved to another school but instead just moving classrooms, to this year.... a spontaneous offer to interview in another district and another offer to move schools in my current district.  I felt the change coming long ago, but never sought it out.  Apparently you don't have to because it'll find you. 

If there is going to be change I prefer the forced kind where you only have one option.  Of course that's not how it's happening this year.  Right now there are possibly two options i'm faced with and well, that terrifies me because i'm such a perfectionist when I make decisions.  I will overanalyze until I have made myself sick, instead of resting in the One who knows the plans for my life.

So pray for me in the upcoming week as I interview and then make a final decision.

Mark is so very good for me when it comes to things like this.  He encourages me to no end and supports me like no one ever has.  He understands that I may be a little crazy and indecisive, but accepts me anyways.  And when I get completely emotional about making a decision he reminds me that God still loves me in the midst of my crazy and that we have choice in life.  Sometimes two doors are open and it's okay to choose the one that we have wanted all of our lives.

I'll let you know what happens.

Here's to summer months when, hopefully, i'll be able to write more often!!  :)

Photo Update

Spent some time this week trying to update my photography blog.  Lots of these photoshoots were a "first" for me;  First time to do engagement, maternity, toddlers, family, etc..  If you care to look, here are the updates....

Engagement pictures with Jordan and Casie
Carter Ray - Toddler Portraits
Shirley Family
Maternity Pictures with Kayla
The Jones Girls - three sisters

Just in case you are wondering, I only take pictures once every two months or so.  It's simply a hobby that I enjoy doing whenever an opportunity arises and I have time!  This blog has become a place for me to come and look at the progression of photos as I've learned different things with each shoot.  Hope you enjoy them as well!

Silverman Family

Just finished editing pictures of this sweeeeeeet family!

Click here to view a few favorites!

Easter 2012

Hope you had a wonderful Easter weekend with your family!!

Here are a few pictures from my family to yours :)

Gone are the days of color-coordinated outfits!!

I love this picture of my parents!

Dad and his girls

Sisters

Mark and I

(Mark wanted to try to old timey look on our photo - I actually like it!!)

Kilgore Girls

Goofy Boys

Silverman Family

It's been a few months since i've gotten a chance to take pictures. We had two three day weekends the past two weeks (there were a lot of numbers in that sentence) and I spent last weekend with my fabulous friend Lauren and her family!! They are my second family to capture and, as always, it was nerve-racking!! We had fun though!!

The program I normally use is going out of business... which means I am being forced to learn how to use photoshop. It's frustrating to say the least.

That's all I could put up with tonight before I wanted to chunk my computer at the wall... but no really!!

Oh the joy of learning something new...

:)

My Story - Part 2

I was raised in a christian home my entire life. We went to church every Sunday, morning and evening, as well as Wednesdays.

My mother spent most of her time on the piano bench and my father was the interim music minister for what ended up being years of my childhood.

We attended a small church that was beginning to die when I was just entering Junior High School. We started visiting other churches around that time and ended up becoming members at the church that we are at to this day.

I remember when we were in the beginning stages of visiting churches, my brother and I started attending the youth services on Wednesday evenings at another church in town. We went to a few retreats before we were actually members.

It's funny to me the random things that you remember, but I can recall a particular night when I had just gotten back from a retreat with this church. I went to the Sunday Evening service at my church and... I closed my eyes when I was worshipping.

Apparently I had never seen that at my dying church. It was new to me and I wanted to be a part of it. Whatever it was; the eye closing, raising your hand thing.

The church we were visiting was full of people, young people in their teens, who would raise their hands and close their eyes when they were focusing on worshipping Jesus.

So I stood there in my church, full of all the gray-haired mature members, and worshipped with my eyes closed. For the first time.

A sign to this day of the longing in my heart... to truly know Him and not just be safe.

...

My Story - Part 1

When I was growing up we had family devotionals once a week. In my mind, I recall it being on Tuesday nights, but who even knows if that is correct or not. Nevertheless, family devotionals.

There is a specific evening that I remember to this day. I can't tell you what the study was about, but I do remember standing up when we were closing and asking my parents about Jesus.

The question was something to the effect of - how to know Him and what that really meant.

I remember talking to my pastor on the phone and answering all the typical questions that you ask a person when they are wishing to accept Christ.

And I remember following that up by walking the aisle, and then baptism, at church.

I was around 7 years old.

We had the typical revivals and invitations where the pastor would ask you to raise your hand if you knew you would go to Heaven if you died tonight. Oh, how I raised my hand high after that night.

I can still see myself, sitting on the floor against the old wood paneling in the tiny side room off of the fellowship hall, as a leader asked us the same question. Our eyes were closed, but my hand was high.

And yet another evening.... We were leaving the church one night and my family was having a conversation about people actually not believing in Jesus.

"How completely absurd!!!" Thought my young, innocent, child-like-faith mind.

It seemed to me that it would be to your benefit to simply believe in Jesus. If perhaps it's not a lie and this Savior is indeed real, atleast you are safe...

Telling My Story

I've decided to start telling my story. My story of how I came to know Jesus.

It's not your typical story. It's not short.

It involves many seasons and even years of my life.

But it's my story... and i'd love for you to read along.

Have Your way Jesus. Be in every word I type.

Blessings

Every February my mother, sister, and I attend a Women's Conference called Feminar in a town nearby. Each year there are 2-3 women speakers (well-known) and an awesome worship leader who come to lead the event.

Last year Laura Story was the worship leader and it was there that we first heard her song Blessings. She has her own testimony as to where the song derived from, but today i'm going to share our families testimony. Never did we know that weekend how much it would mean to our family.

After Feminar was over, every single time mom got in the car that song would come on the radio. It became a joke between Mom, Casie, and I because we heard it so often. Mom made this comment one time, "I'm not sure why I need this song, but apparently i'm suppose to hear it and will need the message in the future."

Fast-Forward eight months...

My brother's wife filed for divorce, packed up her things, and left. He was completely blindsided and wasn't sure what to do. Depression set in and he felt there was no reason to live anymore.

As he was driving to work one morning, his mind started drifting off to taking his own life. I could pull out infront of this desiel. It would be over real quick and I would never feel it. I could go to heaven and never feel this pain anymore.

Many people could hear the same song on the radio at the exact same time each day and see it as coincidence or even annoying. My mother chose to believe it was more than that. The song that my mother heard every single day would be the very song that the Lord chose to lift the depression and heal her son.

As my brothers thoughts drifted over, the song Blessings by Laura Story came on the radio. My brother shared that he cried "good tears"with a smile on his face and thanked Jesus when the song was over. The next morning when he woke up he claimed that he had a completely different attitude. He knew the Lord was with him and would take care of him.

What's awesome - the story doesn't end there!!!

I didn't realize that I was one of few people who knew this story. At the time I first heard it I didn't feel it was the right time to tell my mom; She would worry herself, so I chose not to tell her.

On Thursday of the present week, Mom, Dad, and Brandon drove down to Crockett to attend his final court hearing. It was official, he was now a divorced man; Something we never thought would happen to our family.

As they were driving, the song Blessings came on the radio. Mom turned around to Brandon to get his attention when the song came on (not knowing what the song meant to him). He hadn't heard it in months, but as he sat and listened he fought back tears for the first half of the song. When he got his composure he told mom and dad that he had a story to tell them about that song.

He then began to tell them about his depression and how the Lord had used this song to bless his life. As you can imagine, they were all crying at this point.

With tears in her eyes mom said, "What a blessing! God is reminding you that He was there in your depression and he is still here with you today as the divorce is final."

It's been an emotional season for us as a family, but it's been such a blessing as well. The prayers, the friends who have payed bills and bought groceries, and the many other people who have stepped up in other ways mean the world to us!

But most of all, we thank God! He is good! How neat that He placed this song in mom's life, and used it in Brandon's. We truly did not know months ago how much it would mean to our family.

We are so blessed - even in the rain and tears!

Praise the Lord!

Back To School - Winter

Well, it was back-to-school today for me.

Definitely wasn't singing joy to the world like I was when I was leaving for the break two weeks ago.

Students don't come back until tomorrow so we got a full work-day in our classrooms.... which is always very much appreciated by this chick! For some reason, I still felt very scattered even after such an awesome break. As soon as I stepped foot into my classroom all of the stress immediately came back.

I cannot express how much that bothers me.

Throughout my day I stopped and prayed at different times... Lord, lead me. guide me. comfort me. be my passion again in this place.

I truly believe if it were always happy and dandy then my pursuit of the Lord wouldn't be as intense... so I press on.

If you want to add a something to your prayer list, you can be praying for direction next year. I'm just not real sure if i'm supposed to stay put. It's been on my mind for months, but I need guidance and discernment to know if i'm suppose to move and where. If you wouldn't mind, i'd appreciate your prayers! :)

On another note, I started training for a half-marathon in March. Hope to keep you updated on that process here as well. Two of my friends, Mary and Erin, are going to join me! Any of my hometown friends, feel free to join us as well!!

Alright, i'm exhausted! Short and Sweet - Have a fabulous day!!