Olympic Swimmer

My mom is laying here on the couch rolled up in a ball underneath her blanket. I wish i could take a picture and post it for you... she looks pitiful.

She cracks me up!

She gets in these moods where she's really excited about something and decides that she's going to take it up. Usually she'll see it on TV, at a store, restaurant, or someone will mention it and then she's ALL OVER IT!

Thing is... it lasts for about 2 weeks.

That's why i call it a 'mood'.

She's a HUGE fan of the olympics. Don't talk, don't sing, don't play the piano, don't do anything that will distract her while it's on...

I invited her to swim some laps and work out with me in the pool about 2 weeks ago, she did it one night! But hey, she was so fired up and all the way there the ONE night that she participated.

Back to the olympics - she loves her some swimming. I'm talking loves it so much that she was up on her feet, jumping, and screaming at the top of her lungs the other night. Me- not so much. I'll sit here in my chair, tensing up, freaking out on the inside, slowly making it into a ball, until the race is over.

She decided tonight that she wanted to go up to the Lifecenter to swim some laps in their Lap Pool. I'm thinking the olympics has gotten her into one of those 'moods'. I just smiled and went along with it!

Dad claims the pool is 25 meters long... so if you consider down and back one lap, you've done 50 meters.

O, wait, back up!

The pool was a little chilly for our liking! It probably took us 5 minutes to get down the steps actually into the pool. I'm sure all the other swimmers thought we were nerds and were wanting to break out in laughter. We didn't care! We were enjoying mother/daughter bonding time! I decided to just go for it... i jumped off the last step and started paddling frantically like a dog while my mother laughed her head off from the steps. "are you warm yet?" I guess she was waiting to see if my plan worked before she went for it!

Now, back to the length of the pool.

We swam all the way down, stopped, looked at each other, and laughed. If you want to find out how out of shape you are - get in a pool. We never did a full lap (down and back) without breaking in between. As i was nearing the wall, I pictured myself diving under water and doing that cool fast flip turn around thingy they do and then pushing off... did NOT happen! I decided to abort that about a foot from the wall, haha! They look so smooth and graceful, and i wanted to be apart of it. Wishing is about all i can do though!

After about 30 minutes i had done 4 full laps, and mom had done 3. We decided that was enough for one night. We rested in the heated therapy pool for a few minutes before we headed home. As we were getting out mom said, "i feel sick. I think i worked too hard." I would have laughed, but i was feeling her on that comment. I felt a little nauseated myself. I wasn't sure if it was the work out or the quick change from cold to heated water. My sick feeling passed very quickly. Mothers, on the other hand, did not. She handed me the keys and gave me instructions to be ready to pool over if she yells stop.

By this time i'm ready to laugh!

so here she sits... 3 laps later.... bundled up like a sick little child on the couch... once again watching swimming on the olympics.... she hasn't done any cheering tonight, she must really feel sick.

hahahaha! O man!

I'll let you know how long this swimming thing lasts...

Thank you Lord for my mother! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to love her and spend time with her. Be with her this week and as she starts her new job! We love You!

Deeper

I have thought a lot lately about the impact people have had on my life. I'm the type of person who copies others. Not on purpose.... it's completely unintentional. I'm not just talking about the things they do, i'm talking about everything.

Have you ever spent so much time with someone that you realize you have adopted their slang terms, their accent, their pronunciations, their mannerisms, their gestures? I get so mad at myself. It's like why can't i stinkin be myself? I guess i get so frustrated because i don't realize i'm doing it... then when i do i'm like why? Why am i doing this?

I guess it has something to do with my personality or something i picked up in my childhood. Maybe i didn't feel like me was good enough or something? Who knows.

The reason i am writing all of this is because of a place the Lord has brought me to.

There is one specific person and situation that has had such an impact on my life. Through this person the Lord brought me on my knees, face to the floor, weeping.

He has called me each week to let go of a little more. And here i find myself this week letting go of the final piece.

Well, that's what I feel so strongly He is asking me to do, but i don't know how.

I sit here crying out to God... God i can't do this. Everything i have learned about You was taught to me through him. Everything i hear or see reminds me of him. Father i don't know how to go on without thinking of him. I don't know if i can do this...

It's like my hand is so tightly secured that i don't know how to pick it off... i don't know how to loosen my grip.

I don't understand a lot of things that are going on.... but i know my God.

I know there are countless stories in the bible where He asks for obedience. He doesn't ask Noah, Abraham, Daniel, Joshua, Moses, or even us to understand all of the details, He asks for our full obedience. And to be obedient means that we must first place our faith and trust in Him.

He gives and He takes away.

The Lord used the one situation that He knew would bring me to Him, and for that i am grateful. But i don't know how to go on from here. He is calling me to be the Woman of God that He created me to be... and to do it on my own now.

I was reading through Judges a few weeks ago, and although you may think this is NOT the message He was trying to get across, it's the message i felt Him speaking to my heart personally. If you read through this book you will see the same pattern over and over. There would be a Judge over the people of Israel and everything would be great. They were serve the Lord. As soon as that Judge died the Israelites would stray off. They would forsake God. They would do evil in His sight. The Lord would hand them over to their evil desires, to the gods they were serving.... then they would get to a point where they couldn't handle it anymore. They would cry out to the Lord and He would appoint another Judge to be over the people of Israel. The cycle would continue on the same with this Judge as the last. Serve while a leader was present, then as soon as he passed away, turn away, cry out, new leader.

As i was reading this i thought about Accountability. I think it's important to have someone to help you... to encourage you... to keep you accountable.... to leave a lasting mark and impact on your life....

But the main thing that i kept thinking about was who i should be on my own.

Christ has called me to live a Holy life. A life pleasing to Him. To let everything that i do bring Glory to His name. He has sent people in my life that have impacted it, but there comes a point to where i have to be this person on my own.

I have to be the Woman of God that He has called me to be. Truly Truly be it. Not leaning on anyone else. Seeking the Lord for myself. A Woman of God who is genuine and real and doesn't change... no matter who comes in her life or who leaves.

I shouldn't get to the point to where He takes away someone and i can't make it... and i turn away to my own sinful desires or sit here freaking out about where to go next. I should know Him, rely on Him, love Him, and live for Him on my own.

So here i sit. Afraid. Not sure i can even pick up my foot to make the next step. I don't know what i'm suppose to do next. I don't even have a clue where to start....

I prayed a few weeks ago for the Lord to take me deeper. I have come a long way over the past 5 months, but i was ready for the next step. I felt like i had hit a wall - not a hard one, i was happy and stuff, but i wasn't moving. I wanted Him to take me to the next place He wanted me. I wanted Him to show me His intimacy. I wanted to be even more in love with Him.

This morning i was thinking about that prayer. I asked Him to take me deeper and here i am, literally deeper in the physical sense. Sometimes the way to go deeper with Him is to first(physically, mentally, emotionally) go down. It may not make sense to the non-believer, but as Christians i think you know what i mean. Sometimes He chooses to take things away to take us deeper with Him.

I have felt convicted about the way I have been blogging. It's like i can't be myself when i come here. I want to, but i start typing and i can't. It's like i feel i have to sound smart or what not. I will not do that anymore. I will wait to type when the Lord lays something on my heart. I will now let this be an open journal for others to read what i'm going through. It may be painful to even share some things, but i will share as much as He asks me to. And i will be ME. (i realize that some things may not make sense or even flow, because that's definetly who i am... but i only want this to be a place used for His glory... nothing less.)

He is molding ME. He is teaching me to believes things for myself and not because all of those near to me are believing them.

I love you all.

Thank you Lord for the people you have used to influence and impact my life. Help me Lord. Help me to love you with ALL my heart. Help me to be me, a me that doesn't change, no matter who is in my life. A me that is in love with You and chooses to do Your Will. I need Your help making the next step. I don't have enough strength to even pick up my foot and am not even sure which direction to go. Please draw near. I need You. Be my strength Lord. come walk with me....

thoughts over the last few days.

I realize it's only been 3 days since i posted about breaking... but i felt like it was okay! I have been thinking a lot over the past few days - about many things, not just blogging - so i guess that's what this post is about. My thoughts on paper.. ok so not paper, on a screen.

Monday night i decided to take a trip over to Longview and stop by Books-A-Million. I've been wanting to get some commentaries, and other non-fictional Christian books. I'm turning into such a book worm, but i love it! A bookshelf is beautiful to me.... with millions of books on it... that just says SMART, S-M-A-R-T !!! I don't ever want it to simply be about looks though, i really honestly wanted to go deeper with the Lord. I figured why not feel my time reading books to help me understand His word than any other hobby i could find. (not that any other hobby is sinful, or a waste of time-this is just where i am!)

I have been struggling with a lot of issues and questions in my mind, so the whole ride over things were kind of just spinning around in there... trying to make sense, resist the lies, fight off satan. Appearently i was thinking SO much that i wasn't paying attention to my speed.

Yes, i got pulled over.

As soon as i saw him i 'tapped' (no slamming- that's too noticable) my breaks. No use, it was too late. I learned in one of my science classes in high school that you can tell wether a persons speed is increasing or decreasing by looking at the distance between you and them. Immediately i started glancing at all the cars around me. The truck infront of me was definetly getting farther away, which meant he was going faster than I. When i was passing the officer i noticed that he looked like he was moving. He whipped around, and the lights came on. I pulled over to the right lane knowing that it was me he wanted.

If you know my personality you will probably laugh at what i'm about to tell you. But it's going to be hard to explain considering some people don't know Longview and i don't know street names. I got pulled over (or the lights and him behind me) right as i was entering the 'town' - the main part of Longview where all the stores, restaurants, and mall are... It's a busy part of town and i'm just not one to pull over on the side of the road. I mean people are trying to exit here, enter here, pull out here... you get me right? So i drove a little ways turned into this little drive and found a parking spot in the walmart parking lot. I'm sure all the other drivers thought i was a complete nerd, but i'm just weird like that! I need to be out of everyone's way!

When i saw his lights i thought to myself, 'well this books a million trip is about to be cut real short. All my money will go towards this ticket.'

Thankfully he gave me a verbal warning. He was a very nice man. I've been pulled over 3 times since i started driving, and i've waited to hear those words.... a warning! Just a warning! Thank you Lord!

So from there i continued on with my plans. I spent longer than i planned in BAM searching for books and talking on the phone with a wonderful friend! I always feel like i'm in a library and i'm supposed to be quiet while i'm in there, so i hope i didn't bother all those around me.

Upon my return home, my brother was entering the house! He had been visiting a friend and we hadn't seen him in 2 weeks. For some odd reason, him and i carried the conversation up to my bedroom... we sat there talking for quite a while. (doesn't happen very often) I felt like i needed to give him my undivided attention and put everything else that i wanted/needed to do aside. So i practiced listening. Something was different about him. But a good different.

The next day something unexpected happened in his life. He walked in the door from work and i happened to be standing in the kitchen.
"how was your day?"
"not good... i need a hug."
We stood there hugging as the tears started flowing... I once again put down everything i was doing and listened. I spent probably 45 minutes of my day loving him the best way i knew possible.

Tuesday as i was babysitting i thought about how i was supposed to be working with the kids on their schooling twice a week. I had planned on it at the beginning of the summer, but never consistently did it. As we were leaving to head over to my house i grabbed the library books, some worksheets for Levi, and begin to think about what to do. When we got to the house i told Zoey to pick a library book and start reading. Levi was to write his name a few times and his numbers 1-10. "i hate this..." (words from the man himself) I sat on the floor with them as they each did there work and got this idea to play some games to help Levi with his numbers.

I do not consider myself to be creative at all, but placed my confidence in the Lord and went on with it. I cut up 10 slips of paper and numbered them 1-10. I hid them around the room for Levi and Zoey to find. (you have to get her to do it with him or he'll feel stupid... plus she loved it anyways) When he found all 10 sheets he was to bring them to me and read the numbers as he was handing them back.

They loved playing games, so i quickly tried to think of something else to do. (Fun and Learning)

Next we layed them on the stairs in random order. You had to run up the stairs as fast as you could and read the numbers as you were passing by them! Zoey loved this one, but i think it was too hard for Levi. So we moved on to something else.

I made more slips of paper but this time put dots instead of numbers. Then we mixed them all (the numbered slips and the dotted slips) up, turned them upside down, and played the matching game! I figured this would help him recognize the number and count the dots. He would literally have to MATCH them together.

I decided since we had been doing more schooling type things than usual we'd take a trip to Mcdonalds! They were so ready to come back home and play more games. (they weren't use to me spending so much interactive time with them... shame on me)

I've been trying really hard to love Levi. To play dirtbikes, hide and seek, sweaty things with him. To show him that he is important too. I didn't realize that was his problem. He felt completely shafted. Now that i have been balancing out my time and giving them both equal amounts of me, he is being more obedient. I have learned to speak calmly and gently when getting on to him. I wait for the eye contact, speak sweetly, and then tell him what his punishment is. He's had to sit in time out each day since i switched from yelling to normal voice. Who knew it'd make a difference. My yelling was doing nothing to him, except for making him act out more (which gave me no control - he never sat in time out or anything because i couldn't get ahold of him). It's hard to discipline when it's not your kids. I had been struggling with it all summer. Finally now that summer is narrowing down i'm noticing the importance of patience and gentleness. Yelling will teach them to do the exact same! So i have switched now...

I began to think about why i was getting on to him - is this really something to get in trouble for, am i just getting on to him because i'm annoyed, am i doing this because i've seen other moms do it or do i believe it's worthy of punishment, things like that. I'm starting to be my own person. To dwell on things for myself. To try and if i fail then switch to something else. I had been so use to copying what i'd seen other moms or sitters do... and i didn't feel okay about it anymore. Things have been different for us. Days flow smoother, i feel better about myself, i feel like i'm loving them, they seem to be changing, listening, loving each other.... i'm sure we'll hit a wall some day soon, but i just wish i'd started this sooner. I wish my eyes would have been opened early on in the summer.... His timing is perfect! I will give my all these last 2 weeks, and continue to listen to His guiding voice.

Zoey had a doctors appointment at 3 so i was getting off 2 hours early. Right as we were leaving to take them home, i heard something. I felt like i needed to keep Levi. Instead of dropping him off, i felt like i was supposed to spend some one on one time with him. I sat there thinking, MAN i wanted a nap.... i'm so ready to get off. But i couldn't ignore. I dropped Zoey off and then it was Levi - Meg time! Thank you Lord for allowing me to hear You... thank you for teaching me to love!

Homeschooling has really been on my mind lately. Even had a conversation with my brother about it. I've always kind of been against it - not because i feel it's wrong, but because i just wasn't sure if i was up for it. I was always worried that they wouldn't be around peer pressure, they would be too sheltered, then when they got out in the real world they would go crazy because they'd never experienced it.... like they wouldn't know how to handle it or something. That was my major fear or worry. But i also had many thoughts towards it that were positive. One negative to countless positives. But that negative was huge to me.

Here is the average day for a public schooler and their family. Wake up, eat breakfast, get ready, go to school, come home to a sitter, do homework, parents get home around 5, cook supper, do more homework, take baths, then off to bed. Where does family time come in? Saturday? Because i'm thinking there needs to be more.

Now the homeschooling family. Wake up, eat breakfast, dad goes to work, school during the day (and usually done before public schooling time), dad comes home, eat supper, FAMILY TIME, bed time.

I think family is SO important. It's really really been on my mind lately. I had talked about homeschooling, but never saw myself donig it. I've had people (even those very close to me) tell me that now days both parents have to work. I've always rolled my eyes at that statement. I want my family to be close. I want to LOVE my children. I want them to LOVE me. I want them to feel like they can come to me and tell me anything. I want them to want to spend time with me and the rest of their family. I think it is so key to build that HOMEY - ness. The relationship, the bond, the love, the everything else. It just makes MORE sense to me to home school and i can't believe i'm even saying this... haha. I'm not saying that i won't work or that moms who work are bad. I think God has different plans for everyone. These are just my thoughts as of lately. I don't know what the future holds for me. I don't know if i'll end up working or if i'll home school. I just think there has to be some sort of a balance. There needs to be FAMILY.

I don't want to work SO much that i come home and i'm too tired to spend moments with my kids. I don't want to work and be so bogged down that i bring it home. It needs to STAY there when you leave the door at work... you enter your house and now it's time to focus on your FAMILY.

I believe there is a BALANCE when it comes to everything in life. And i'm learning it right now. So many things in my life need to be worked on and balanced.

Father i come to you now praying for my family. The current family right now and my family in the future. You know each of them, even the ones who havent been conceived yet. Prepare my to be the woman you want me to be. The Daughter, Sister, Wife, Mom, Friend. Teach me to balance. Teach me Your ways. Give me a heart that recognizes You and Your truth! I lift Brandon and his situation up to you. Pursue his heart Lord. Wrap your arms around him and show him Your unshakable truth and peace. Help us to be obedient to You. I love you! Take my heart... i want to be real before you... so please! Thank you for this day - may i give my all to You!

No Deal

I mentioned in the post below that i was addicted to blogging... well, i wasn't kidding. I have been convicted for quite a while, but it's taken me this long to do something about it.

Let me explain:

It's very easy to be lazy and selfish while babysitting. Especially if it's your 'job'. One night of sitting on the floor playing children's game is challenging enough. It takes an amazing amount of discipline and self-control to stay focused and passionate when it comes to babysitting 9 hours a day. Each day this summer we have taken a break to come to my house (it's only about 4 miles down the road from where i 'sit'). What do we do there? Well they watch tv, play with the dog, who knows what else.... as i sit totally neglecting them checking through my emails, and posting new blogs. I made a commitment halfway through the summer that i wouldn't touch the computer until after 5 o' clock when i was done with work. Not even sure that lasted a day. To this day i am still convicted daily by the amount of attention i give to the computer over these kids. Conviction number one!

While we were on vacation we took our computers. I'm not even totally aware of the point of bringing them along. I don't have a laptop, so it wasn't MY computer... but that didn't stop me from using it. I had to unload my camera every night so i used that as my excuse to get on there. You think He fell for that one? Let me save you the energy - NOPE! I felt convicted the very first night while on vacation, but was having so much fun keeping it updated. It was a time away from home, away from all the ordinary things, away from work - a time where we could actually be together as a family and not worry about anything else. My free time was always spent up in the computer room at our campground... each moment i sat down to type i felt Him knocking on my heart. 'You should be with your family. This should never come before your family and certainly not before Me.' There were so many other things i could have been doing with my time... and fruitful things at that. But what did i choose - selfishness!

The service wasn't availabe in our camper so we had to walk up the hill to the internet room to get a connection... which meant i was even farther seperated from my family. Isolated in a little room with some washers and dryers. One of the last nights that we were there i finally decided to resist the temptation and not get on the computer. I went and sat on the swing and read His word and talked to Him. As i got back to the camper i noticed my sister sitting in the floor of the living room with her computer open... "is it working? you're getting service in here?" "yep!" As soon as i try to get on, the bars immediately went down - Network Connection Unavailable! It was like the Lord shut the plastic case and said, "No Deal." Me, with my selfish, prideful, stubborn self grabbed the computer and started up the hill. I had to go number 2 and we don't always like to do that in the camper. The bathroom was in the same building as the internet room and service was AMAZING in there. Once again, No Deal! I'm pretty sure i laughed as i sat there on the toilet. Okay Lord... Okay, I get it! It's pretty clear since it'll work for everyone else, but not me! You want ALL of me - you want full obedience! Conviction number two!

We have been home from vacation for over a week now and nothing has really changed. Granted i didn't blog every day last week, but still...

Yesterday morning my devotional book was about 'Fasting'. Beth Moore said that we usually relate fasting to food. We stop eating and the hunger and desire for food reminds us to pray. She mentioned that anything we let go or refrain from for the opportunity and sake of experiencing Christ is considered a Fast.

If that's not enough, a friend mentioned the conviction she felt towards blogging and how she was fasting for a few days.

I have decided to take a break... to fast in a sense.... to let the desire for the internet to remind me to call on Him.

So here i am tonight, signing off.... saying my goodbyes until He lets me know it's okay to come back. I know you probably won't miss me, but there are a few people that i keep in touch with through email. I wanted to save time from sending out seperate emails to each person and decided to just let you all know here. I will not touch a computer for a while - so if you send and email and get no reply, you now know why! I am not ignoring you! I'm sure you can find a way to get in touch with me if it's truly important! The phone is still working! haha!

I love you Lord. Forgive me. Help me to recognize every area of my life that needs work. I want you... I asked you to take me deeper, and here we are! Continue Lord. Bring me to You! This time is for You and You only!

Arte Y Pico

I became a blogger almost 4 months ago, and I have to admit i'm pretty addicted to it. There are days when i have to pace myself because i feel i have so much to share (even posting more than one entry), then there are others when i can't find the words to express what i'm feeling. No matter what the case may be, one of the highlights of my day is not only sharing what i'm learning, but also hearing what other women are going through. One of these women is Rebecca. She has been very helpful to me as i learn new exciting things to do with my blog. I remember meeting her once while i was at Cari's house, but that was many years ago. She only had 3 children at the time. Since then she has moved to another state and added on to that number of wonderful blessings in her home. We've been reconnected through blogging and i'm forever blessed by her thoughts. I've spent many nights staring at my computer reading through each of her entries. She is a woman who displays amazing strength, and I can only hope to grow up to be the mother and wife that she is to her children and husband! Rebecca presented me with this award, Arte Y Pico, a little over two weeks ago. It has taken me that long to figure out how to make the names color up where you can click and instantly view their pages (ha)! Once receiving the award you are challenged to pass it on to 5 fellow bloggers of your choosing. When i first found out about the award i was excited, but seconds later realized i didnt even have that many blogs that i view. I didn't want to randomly pick people just for the sake of rules... I'm probably breaking the law behind this award by doing this, but you now know my reasoning for only picking the 4 following people. I have thought long and hard over these past two weeks, so here we go...

Even though not blood related, i consider Becca a sister! She is new to bloggerville - posting her first entry a week ago. When talking with her about starting a blog she mentioned that she wanted it to be a place where she could come and be herself. My heart lit up whenever i heard those words. High School is a hard place to be, but i think it's awesome that she wants to be a transparent person for her peers to see. So many decisions you make in those years will affect more than you know about your future. Hopefully you will be blessed by all that she is learning and sharing. Beck, i'm excited that you decided to start this new journey (reading the Bible through, sharing what your learning, being real). I want to encourage you to keep pushing even when you don't feel like it. You will see the Lord's goodness, you will taste it and long for more! I love you and can't wait to see what He has in store for you this year at school! He will do amazing things if you surrender your all to Him! I am interested in all that you say!

Mary is another friend of mine... one of the only girlfriends from high school that i still keep in touch with. No matter how long it's been since we've talked, we always seem to pick up right where we left off. She is entering her last year of college and has some amazing plans for her future. I love our friendship and am so glad to introduce you to her and her blog. She finds it easier to express herself through writing rather than talking; perfect for blogging! You won't regret stopping by her page. Her realizations will challenge you to think about your beliefs and opinions. I love you Mary! Wish we could spend more time together, but for right now i guess i'll have to settle for spending time with you through reading your blog! haha :) Cheers to you and your new adventure!


Cari is a women i've always looked up to. My babysitter from long ago! :) I loved spending days with her and getting to play with her children. I'm sure she knows more about me than she liked to, but i can't get enough of her. I never tire of Cari's wisdom and humor. I have been blessed to continually have her in my life and wouldn't dare take a single moment of that for granted. If you visit her page you will be sure to find many laughs, learn about her family, and hear about the things the Lord is speaking to her heart personally. She's not one to openly hand out hugs, but i'll never forget the day she came up to me at church, stretched out her arm, and wrapped it around me. Now that's LOVE! ha! Cari you do, honestly, make me feel loved! So much of the things i'm learning in my life are because of you and i want to thank you for that! Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your life and for being there when i want to talk! I love you and your family more than words could ever express!

Angie Smith from Bring The Rain is the final person i have chosen. She doesn't have a clue who i am, nor does she even know that she is getting this award. If you haven't heard about her i want to invite you to view her page. You will find yourself laughing, crying, learning, feeling loved, blessed, and even leave feeling like you know her all by reading through her story. I will save you the time and refrain from going into too many details. She will share and explain better than i could ever possibly do for you. This woman of God will leave you longing for the Lord, and challening you to refocus on your relationship with Him. I have no doubt in my mind that you will be blessed if you check out her blog. The Lord is so appearent there! So click away! Go have a look at this amazing woman of God!

Here are the rules!!! You know who you are... You now know what you have to do!

Rules:

1) You have to pick 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award, be it through creativity, design, or interesting material, and that also contributes to the blogger community, no matter the language.

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award.

4) Award winners and the one who has given the award have to show the link of "Arte y pico" blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.

5) Show these rules.


I love you all! Have fun!

I love you girls!

I had the wonderful blessing of singing with 3 amazing girl friends in a quartet from 8th - 12th grade. Truly it even lasted over graduation - we would sing every Christmas Eve at 2 churches here in town. If you were to meet each of us you would probably be surprised! We are all so different from each other... It kept everything balanced though, haha! With our four personalities all the bases were covered when planning and preparing. Between the four of us we had a softball player, ballet dancer, and a cheerleader. Our families each went to 4 seperate churches, covering 3 denominations. The friends we even chose to hang out with were from 4 completely diverse groups. And boyfriends, well we won't even go there!

We were asked to sing many places throughout our years together in school. And to be honest, we were hated in choir for it. It was like one of those love-hate relationships where everyone wants to be your friend, and if they don't feel like they are, they will just dog you all the time. Appearently they thought we were the teacher's pet; always got our way, never got in trouble, and sang at every event. They didn't realize that we put the group together ourselves, we rehearsed on our OWN time, and around our schedules (softball, cheer practice, ballet, work, school). It didn't just fall together one day - we worked towards it. The teacher never pulled us in her office teaching us parts, or telling us we need to get it together. We wanted this group to work, we enjoyed it, we put forth the effort... then after a while opportunities came up without us even searching for them.

I remember one day while sitting in the choir room on the risers our Director walked in and saw a Coke can sitting on her piano... a major NO NO. She waltzed in, gave her spill and asked for it to be removed. A girl standing within a few feet of me said, "i bet if one of the quartet girls did that she wouldn't care, they don't get in trouble for anything... they always get their way." You know she wanted me to hear her, you just know - one of those let's pretend to whipser, yet talk loud enough that she hears and gets offended. WOOOWEE! I don't usually stand up for myself, or talk back to people, but i had had enough. It was our senior year, we had been taking crap from others (particularly girls) for YEARS. We got in trouble just like everyone else, believe me i got the evil eye for chattin with MC. But we never gave less than our best when it came to rehearsing. Whether it be towards the concert choir as a whole, practicing for something the quartet was doing, rehearsing for dance shows, or whatever... We had shown her (the director) that she could count on us. I don't even remember what i said to the girl, but I WENT OFF. (probably not the Christian thing to do...) I remember the faces of those around me - bug eyed, mouths wide open, completely shocked at what i had done. I do remember stating that if she really had a problem with us singing everywhere, then why doesn't she quit griping about it and start her own quartet. No one is stopping her.

This old story reminds me of a conversation we had in the college Sunday School class one day. So many people have all these great ideas, or things they see that need to be done. What do they do? They go tell someone, "Hey we need to do this, this would be a great idea, so in so is getting left out, this is being neglected.... etc." This woman stated that if you feel that way, if Christ has laid it on your heart, why don't you stop sitting around waiting for someone else to do it... why don't you step it up and be used?

No one was stopping choir chick from beginning her own group... auditioning for solos.... whatever else... but did she ever do anything about it? Nope. She just tried to ruin our party - and that my friends, aint happenin!

calming down, and now moving on.... :)

I'm sure we never imagined the Quartet to turn into such a big deal back in 8th grade, but i'm grateful that it did. Looking back my most cherished moments were with these girls. Although vastly different from each other, we couldn't help but love each other. No matter what was going on at home, or with boyfriends we were always there for one another. We would pray before entering the stage for our performances... i don't believe we ever sang without lifting it up to the Lord first. Each voice was uniquely different, but we were always known for our amazing unison. We never practiced it or anything... from the very first time we ever sang together our unison sounded like one single voice. I don't think we will ever understand all that that held. oh, i miss singing with them.

It doesn't seem like it's been 8 years since we all became friends back in Junior High... but it has. Time has flown by.

We are now each at 4 completely different places in our lives. Last summer, K got married and is now living in Houston with her husband. M is also married and is expecting a baby boy, Matthew, October 1st. MC is pursuing a degree at UT Austin, and wants to become a Childlife Specialist. Then there is me - Graduation in May - let's just not think about all of that, okay?

We had a baby shower for M this morning at K's house. The other three of us got together with our mom's and planned the whole she-bang! We stayed afterwards to chat and catch up on our different lives. We didn't realize that it had been a year since we'd all been together in one place. And it will be 2 years this Christmas since we've sang together as a group. There was some sort of a request for song today by a lady at the shower, but we all kind of giggled and turned that one down... haha!

She looked beautiful! I'm not sure she is going to make it to October though - she looks like she is about to POP! There was talk about placing bets on the due date - everything gathered will go toward Matthew's college fun! haha! We took plenty of pictures and spent most of our time touching her belly. An updated picture is coming soon!

MC and I had our little pitty party this morning before the Shower got started. Poor us - so single, and boring! haha. It kind of hit both of us at the same time, we just turned and looked at each other with our lips puckered out. Everyone kept asking who was next (for marriage and babies)... laughs resounded the room. Usually we point fingers, but both of us knew, NAH! hehe! The answer to this question is up in the air. It will be interesting to see. Kind of stresses me out!

M, i'm so excited for you! You are growing up and maturing so much. Your outer beauty has always been appearent, and is even more so with the life that is growing inside of you... it's your inner beauty that shows who you truly are, and i love you and all that you are becoming! I can't wait for this new addition in your family and i know you're about ready for the time to be here also. I love you with all my heart and am blessed to have you in my life. I will never forget the years we spent together and the many songs that we poured our hearts over. Best of wishes to you, W, and your baby boy! *Hugs n kisses*

I hope you know that i'm not saying all of this to boast. I'm simply thinking back on the good times from high school. So many of those years i regret and wish i could do differently, but this is one thing i wouldn't go back and change. The Quartet was the only constant thing in my life back then. I could always rely on them to be there, to sing, to come together...

Now that i'm all sappy and teary eyed, i'm going to go spend time with the Lord! It's hard at times to see everyone around you moving on with life and you feel like you're stuck and still aint got a clue. You know what? Even though i don't know what i want yet.... My God knows what i NEED... and that will far surpass anything i could ever imagine and not just cover my needs, but even my WANTS! I wish i could tell you i'm calm and at peace on the inside, but NURP... i have to keep reminding myself of things about the Lord. I will make it through! If you could watch my dreams (those that happen while you are asleep - not goal dreams...) you would be able to see that i am stressing too much. APPEARENTLY i am not dealing with things or processing them the right way.... my dreams have been filled with just about every activity i've been apart of, every voice teacher i've had, every major i've switched from, many different friends, all the choices i have to make... you get the point. AHH i need to go place it at the Lord's feet, but i don't even know where to start. Wish it was as easy as it sounded... Pouting number 2 over with, and i'm off to share an Evening with my Love, Jesus Christ!

Father, i come to you now lifting up my friends... you do know exactly where we are Lord - physically, mentally, emotionally... I pray that no matter where we are in our lives we are there with You. Be with M and everything leading up to her delivery. Keep her safe, and may this bring their family even closer together and to You. Guard our lives... Guide us! Thank you for each of them, thank you for the many years we were together. Thank you for the tears shed with these girls, the laughter, the hugs, even the fights. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love You!

Moments with the Levi.

Levi: "Will somebody bite me?"
Me: "bite you? Why do you want someone to bite you?"
Levi: " i don't know, just cause"
10 year old friend: "i know a guy at Trinity named Jaden who would bite you... he bit me one time and took the skin off my back. He is in Pre-school."
Me: "Levi wasn't one of your friends in your class last year named Jaden?"
Levi: "Yep."
10 yr old friend: (announces his last name - of course Levi has no idea.) "What does your friend look like?"
Levi dead serious - concentrating hard on describing this kid: "well, he has brown hair ...and he has a face... he's a little browner dan me dough.... and he wears a green shirt with black shorts everyday... he looked the same all the days at school."
the rest of us are rolling in laughter as he continues to describe this little boy...
Me: "Well i am totally loving that he has a face!"
Levi is continuing to blab on and on about what his friend looks like, and we are still laughing!

Kid's, man, they crack me up! To watch them grow from stage to stage, to see them talk and describe things, to remember things from days before, to try to think things through in their tiny brains that can't quite understand everything... Levi has been keeping the laughs coming this week.

We had a play day with some friends on Wednesday. On the way over we pulled up to a red light, so i turned down the music and we prayed for our day - thanking God for friends! The next day we pulled up to the same red light and from the back seat Levi says,
"Remember yesterday when we stopped at this red light and you prayed for us."
at this point i'm totally smiling on the inside and out...
"Yes, Levi, i remember. Did you like it?"
"yeah it was fun, but i don't like it... it's too hard."
"it's just like talking to your mom, dad, and zoey. He just wants to be your friend!"
"Well there's too many questions and i'm just not interested."
"Well He's interested in you and when you are ready to talk to Him He will listen."
"What if everyone else decides to pray at the same time i do?"
:) haha! "He's a real BIG God and He can hear everyone at the same time!"
"so he has like 20 ears?"

He was walking around earlier tooting up a storm - i very gently told him that he better get all those out at home because we will not be having that at Cici's Pizza. He laughed and took me a little too seriously.... he has been tooting nonstop for a while.

I must admit i've been pretty sweet to him these past 3 days.

Look what happened as we were playing Wii before we left to go to the Johnson's to have a play day.

Levi's player comes up to bat (i had the controller)...
Me: "look Levi here you are!"
Levi: "O yeah yeah, hit it good... get me a good one."
Getting my stance ready, here's the pitch, swing, and HOMERUN!
Me: "yay, Levi we got a home run!" High fives back and forth about 5 times!
Levi: "YEAH YEAH YEAH! You know what? One day Zoey is going to leave... it's going to be me and Megan day.... and we are going to do our own thing."

So sweet that that dude wants to hang out with me - wooo i gotta go pray about that day! :)