When we were eating supper last Friday night, my mother was looking for a picture in my sister's camera. She found the photo, but couldn't figure out how to zoom and then move up and/or down. She asked me to show her... which i've done many times. And you know what Miss Kilgore said? (It wasn't Megan... it was the teacher.)

"No mam, I want you to physically do it yourself so that you will know how next time."

It wasn't just the words... the tone was very firm.

Sometimes it's really hard to put myself back in park. I've been in gear for so many hours throughout my day (and oooooo especially by Fridays) that sometimes it's really hard to shift back.

I might need to work on that! ha.

Especially in public when children are being completely disobedient. Bite the tongue.

In Progress

Yes, i'm very aware that my current background is very boring... and lacks color. I just couldn't take that square box dealy in the center of my background anymore.

When I have the patience and time to sit down and work through a warm fall looking design I'll fix her up!

W says /w/ /w/ weekend

Brandon and Stacy, the brother and his wifey, got in last night and met us at the Maverick Football game! Stacy and I spent majority of the game catching up on our new jobs. She is running a day care in her home and is loving it for many different reasons. I'll share the number one reason.

Number one - she doesn't have to wake up at 5 am to shower, get pretty-fied, and ready to leave her house in order to be at work on time between 7 - 8. She is able to sleep in until the kids start arriving and then take her time getting ready through out the day if she so feels.

Sounds good to me!

The newlyweds picked my room to stay in, which meant I crashed with the sister.... much smaller bed, much smaller amount of sleep, and very small price to pay in order to enjoy a weekend with your family!

So far today i've been able to get some much needed grading done (while chatting with the fam), browse/shop through the scentsy catalog, upload a few pictures from my classroom, and start my to-do list as I get ready to head to the school to get some things done.

Doesn't sound very productive, but boy it feels it!

One of my favorite things is watching the people I know in action. And by action, i mean, switch into gear in the career or job that they chose. It's so neat to watch them in this new setting. From keyboardist at church to nurse at school; From quiet shy girl, to Elementary Kindergarten teacher; From high school friend, to Child Life Specialist. It's neat to see people in their element.

So here is a little glimpse into my classroom...

(once again, I can't show faces, but here is some of our work from yesterday)

On Thursday in Social Studies we talked about how back in the old days, a very long time ago, they didn't have some of the things that we have now. People invented things in order to make life a little easier. For example, in stead of using candles we now have electricity, washing machines in place of hand washing, cars, instead of horse back riding, etc..

On Friday, we extended our lesson and talked about if we were able to invent anything we wanted... what would it be. Here is my example, see if you notice a trend in the students'

creations.

"I would invent a chair that turns into a castle."

Now, they might have something there. You sit down and poof, your dream house appears around you!

"I would invent a robot that turns into a hamburger."

okay...not real sure i'd eat that hamburger. I'd hate to choke on some robot parts.

Look at that awesome finger space between those words! :)

And just a little grammar lesson before lunch.

We've been working on nouns, verbs, and adjectives the past three weeks.

We read through our poem together, acted out the action words, then went back and identified the nouns and verbs.. and then finally added in some describing words.

I'll have to share with you the really fun activities that we do throughout our days, but that'll be really hard to photograph without capturing the wonderful expressions on their faces!! But now it's time to try and check off some more things on my to-do list.

Hope you're having a wonderful weekend!

Psalm 73 - Jarrett Davis Band

This is my friend Jarrett.

We went to school at OBU together and were in choir together there as well. We actually got to meet up a few times last year when he came through town and catch up on how life was going. It's been about a month since I actually talked to him in depth, but at that time he said great things were happening for his band. And so I wanted to share a video with you.

He's a cutie and will totally make it big one day! Not for being cute, but for worshiping the Lord Jesus Christ! :)

He's the lead singer and guitarist in the very front.

Receive It

I was chatting with a mother this evening and she had this to say,

"I was hoping you could tell me what you're doing... I need to know for the next 11 years of school. This is the first year my child has liked coming to school. Don't get me wrong, the teacher last year was wonderful, but mama's know and recognize a difference. She comes home in a good mood everyday. We loooooovvvee Miss Kilgore!"

Of course, my first response was to think of everything I am not doing and give the credit to someone else.

Why?

Because that's just who I am.

Over the past few years I've come to terms with the fact that very rarely do I ever accept when something good happens in my life. Almost immediately I catch myself finding something negative to explain the positive. And most of the time how the positive just cannot be true and you must be mistaken or have misunderstood the situation.

How twisted.

And then I began to think about what lies i'm letting myself believe simply because of how situations in the past have effected my thinking towards myself.

I'm too tired to dig real deep tonight, but I definitely have more to say on this topic.

Any thoughts on your end?

Observations

In the past three and a half weeks i've had three observations take place in my classroom. Well, four counting the day that the superintendent (and three or four other high up Admin people) walked into my classroom without warning.

That's a lot of people. In one room. A first year teacher room. Without warning. Just sayin'.

Over the course of this year I will have, literally, four different (mentor-ish) people (each on a different level) coming into my classroom at various times to check on how things are going. Surely by December the scary-ness of that will have worn off.

Right now my kids totally think they are there to see what they are learning in first grade, how incredibly smart they are, and that they know how to follow rules the very first time they are given.

That's right. I put it on them.

It's working so far... I'm hoping that will not wear off by December :)

Reasons why...

I love, love, love, love, love my job!

Teaching children is such a blessing!

Here are some of the reasons I enjoy it so much:

I get to encourage kids who think they can't.

I get to see growth happen in the most random places and moments.

I get to laugh and have fun just like a kid.

I get to plan, organize, make to-do lists, cross off to-do lists, lead, and manage a classroom full of happenings.

I get to love kids who may or may not get it anywhere else.

I get hugs on a daily basis from children who not only need to give them, but feel you fully receive them as well.

They think i'm totally cool, fun, and love me no matter what.

Okay, that last one may or may not be true... but I did get a bracelet symbolizing that i'm a "friend". That should count for something! :)

Thoughts on Growing Up

Our grades are due this weekend for our three week progress reports and since I have nothing better to do I spent my Friday evening at the school until 9 pm getting everything entered into my online gradebook.

As I was driving across town my thoughts ventured off to all the many things going on in my life.

Like Mary moving to Philly.

I guess it didn't really hit me until today when I realized she is now, in fact, in Philly and can't just come over at the drop of a hat and run 3 miles, or cook dinner with me on girls night. I said it yesterday, but it's appropriate again... this whole growing up thing is becoming such a reality.

What, with all the moving and starting jobs and careers. It's weird.

In the past month i've had three friends (close enough to be considered family) who literally have moved hours and miles away to start a new season of their lives.

In high school my weekends were filled with cheerleading events such as, footballs games and/or the like... as well as, the many, many choir events. I didn't realize how terrible I was at making friends until I got into college and had to (ironically) make them for the first time in my life.

I'm more of a come and get me kind of girl. ha.

Since my college years were filled with lots of depression and not much going out, I never made or had a group of friends to call my own. And to be real honest, I guess in all reality i've never had a group to call my own.

When I think about my personality and look at my life over the years I realize that I tend to get close to few people and never really venture out to much more. But as crazy as it may seem, last year was the year for being brave and trying new things.

The Lord brought me through a lot of insecurities, built my confidence, and I even found myself making more friends and wanting to be around people.

But we're at that age.

You know, the age where people are finding jobs and moving. The age where people are finding fiances, getting married and moving. Or the age where we've been married for a few years and we're expecting and it's not as easy to just drop our plans and hang with friends.

Except... I don't really have friends to even drop plans on me. ha.

I guess i'm just in a sappy mood tonight. No, i'm not sappy. I'm fine. The reality of growing up is just hitting me and when I think back the one thing I wish I could change would be friendships and relationships. I want a group of girls (or friends in general) to just crash with. It's something that I pray for.... continually.

And even though i'm more outgoing than I use to be I still miss (and long for) that connection with a specific group to call my own.

But underneath all of that, I trust Him and wait for His timing.

And in case you haven't noticed, there is no point to this post... other than to be transparent and do a little thinking out loud. Feel free to make me feel normal.

And if you think about it, pray for Mary as she starts her life and a new journey in Philly all by herself. She is a Child Life Specialist - living in the city. Definitely a change from the SOUTH. Guess what we have already planned to do when I fly up to visit?

That's right. Day trip to NY. And thanks.

Debrief

First off, why does this short week seem so stinkin' long?

The three day weekend was absolutely amazing. On Friday night I went to bed at 8:30 and didn't wake up until 9:30 the next morning. That's correct.... 13 hours of sleep.

Saturday morning I went for a jog, took my time getting ready, and then went to Shreveport to have a little me time.

Me time plus mom.

We shopped. We laughed. We enjoyed each other.

And hello, how gorgeous was that weather?

Sunday... I can't really recall what happened on Sunday.

All day Monday was spent in my classroom preparing for the following day and getting a few "administration" things done. You know, paperwork, deadlines, grading, procedures that need to be re-thought through. (And one of my best friends, Mary, is moving to Philly.... we had our goodbye dinner that evening as well..... sad sad sad face. Makes this "we're growing up" thing become even more real.)

It's been three weeks since I started this first year of teaching journey. Totally cannot believe that it's already been three weeks. And with that, now I share my beef with you....

why must every deadline be TOMORROW?

Seriously people. Not sure who planned that, but i'd gladly help them rethink that one through.

Moving on.

Each day has it's own challenge, but praise the Lord I still leave at the end of the day realizing how much I love this job. It's so time consuming, yet satisfying. It's an all day (especially mentally) job, yet totally worth it.

I have a lot to do this weekend. Lots of things to re-think about our classroom. Not everything works for every student. Not everything works for every teacher. And there isn't a one size fits all for how a classroom should be run.

I'm finding that this is a place where we (all) learn to be flexible. You learn how to relate to people, how to communicate with people (on a completely different level than you), how to understand people, how to deal with people, and how to handle situations with so many differing personalities/backgrounds/beliefs/etc..

Designing the flow of a classroom to work specifically for me and my kids is challenging, but i'm up for it! What works for lady across the hall may completely fall through in our room.

It makes the task a little more exciting!

And goodnight...

For All You Teach-y Personalities

One activity that my kids really like is "bounce it" with our spelling words. And since they like it so much, I figured I would share it with all of you home school moms or anyone who likes to use these kinds of things to reinforce skills at home.

We have different movements that we do (cheer it, bounce it, size it, clap it, snap it, slap it) in order to make as many of our activities hands on as we can.

So far their favorite with spelling is bounce it.

You pretend you're dribbling or bouncing the ball for each individual letter and then you shoot the pretend ball and say the entire word.

bounce - p

bounce - l

bounce - a

bounce - y

shoot - play

I usually put the words on the board (visual), point to one, have them bounce it (hands on), and say it (aural). Covering all the different ways children learn!

And before you go trying to give me all kinds of credit for being creative.... I found this idea in a book. When I read something that sounds fun to me, I steal it. :)

Laughter in my days

I had forgotten how much of a release this whole blog was for me. Thanks, Katy, for the reminder.

After I posted last night, I realized how easy, quick, and refreshing it was to sit here and have a little "me" time.

The other night I was reading a Lysa book again... go figure... and she talked about choosing to be still in His presence no matter how important the items on our To-Do List may seem.

I don't even have to tell you how hard that was for me the past two weeks. Leading up to and getting ready for school it was nearly impossible for my brain to stop and be still. I knew that I needed to, but no matter how hard I tried, I failed. Oh, I longed to just sit and know He was God and simply just be. But it seemed impossible.

This week my soul longed for it even more.... and so I chose to stop.

And each night that I stopped, I was refreshed.

It was hard. I wanted to get up and do things, but my heart wanted to stay there with Him. And the truth rang louder than my anxious thoughts. I knew I needed His refreshment.

And another thing I'm choosing to do is let myself have "me" time. That one is hard to because you tend to lean towards guilty feelings knowing you have so much that needs to be done. But it's so important to still have a life; friends, family, hobbies. And so I choose.

But onto school...

I had my first observation today. AH.

It went well! It took a load off knowing that we started on a good foot. But I want to see more of that teacher even when i'm not being "watched". It's like I kicked it into another gear knowing someone else was in my room.

And to close, here are some funny quotes from my kids:

"Miss Kilgore, he used me as a rock.... to jump over."

(Recess inside because of rain)

"I changed my mind. I want white paper. I'm going to make our missing kid a Christmas card." But, baby, it's not Christmas time. "I know, I want to get him in the mood early."

"Miss Kilgore, do you like weenie dogs?" (as he holds up an orange silly band shaped like a weenie dog) "You can have this. It's for friends." ( And then a big nod as he proceeds to stick it on my arm.)

Gotta love 'em. Sometimes.

Following Orders

Katy demanded that I post about how things are going!

:)

To be honest, this week has been extremely hard. This job is extremely hard. Life is extremely hard.

And to be even more honest and transparent, I feel dark. I'm so tired, so overwhelmed, so stressed that I can hear it in my voice, feel it in my body, and need to release tears at any given moment throughout my week.

I would love to think that it's going to all become normal and routine pretty soon and things will level out, but part of me can't help but worry that the enemy may use this against me. Many times throughout this journey i've felt him try to step in when i'm vulnerable and weak and completely diminish what God has done over the previous school year.

So I ask for your prayers.

But on a happier note....

I got to love a student on Friday!

She wouldn't speak. She was very much to herself and quiet. It hurt my heart when I thought of her.

When she missed her bus last week, I contacted a guardian and left her in the office with the assurance that someone would be there to get her. As I was walking back to my room I felt the Lord press it upon my heart to go sit with her until someone arrived. I had received a text message from a friend challenging me to love someone in my day.... here was my chance. No matter how long the to-do list was on my desk.

So I turned around my little hiney, walked back up to the office, and asked her if she wanted me to sit with her until someone was there to take her home. She wouldn't look at me or respond. After a few seconds, as I was about to give her a signal for yes/no, she turned and looked me square in the eye and shook her head - yes.

:)

I sat with her. I loved her. I hugged her goodbye.

Yesterday during one of our classroom activities, she was singing as she was working; almost as if she had no fear to be herself. From no talking, to singing! That will touch your heart!

I have a special place in my heart for that precious girl..... and now she's gone. No warning. Just gone.

No lie. I got choked up when I found out.

This is why I teach..... to love those who may never get it anywhere else. To allow children to be children.... to open up and be free.

Lord, I don't know where she is.... but she's on my heart. Protect her. Let her know she is loved. Pursue her precious soul. And guide me as I love and lead the rest of my class. I can't do this without You. In Jesus' name.