Friday, September 10, 2010

Thoughts on Growing Up

Our grades are due this weekend for our three week progress reports and since I have nothing better to do I spent my Friday evening at the school until 9 pm getting everything entered into my online gradebook.

As I was driving across town my thoughts ventured off to all the many things going on in my life.

Like Mary moving to Philly.

I guess it didn't really hit me until today when I realized she is now, in fact, in Philly and can't just come over at the drop of a hat and run 3 miles, or cook dinner with me on girls night. I said it yesterday, but it's appropriate again... this whole growing up thing is becoming such a reality.

What, with all the moving and starting jobs and careers. It's weird.

In the past month i've had three friends (close enough to be considered family) who literally have moved hours and miles away to start a new season of their lives.

In high school my weekends were filled with cheerleading events such as, footballs games and/or the like... as well as, the many, many choir events. I didn't realize how terrible I was at making friends until I got into college and had to (ironically) make them for the first time in my life.

I'm more of a come and get me kind of girl. ha.

Since my college years were filled with lots of depression and not much going out, I never made or had a group of friends to call my own. And to be real honest, I guess in all reality i've never had a group to call my own.

When I think about my personality and look at my life over the years I realize that I tend to get close to few people and never really venture out to much more. But as crazy as it may seem, last year was the year for being brave and trying new things.

The Lord brought me through a lot of insecurities, built my confidence, and I even found myself making more friends and wanting to be around people.

But we're at that age.

You know, the age where people are finding jobs and moving. The age where people are finding fiances, getting married and moving. Or the age where we've been married for a few years and we're expecting and it's not as easy to just drop our plans and hang with friends.

Except... I don't really have friends to even drop plans on me. ha.

I guess i'm just in a sappy mood tonight. No, i'm not sappy. I'm fine. The reality of growing up is just hitting me and when I think back the one thing I wish I could change would be friendships and relationships. I want a group of girls (or friends in general) to just crash with. It's something that I pray for.... continually.

And even though i'm more outgoing than I use to be I still miss (and long for) that connection with a specific group to call my own.

But underneath all of that, I trust Him and wait for His timing.

And in case you haven't noticed, there is no point to this post... other than to be transparent and do a little thinking out loud. Feel free to make me feel normal.

And if you think about it, pray for Mary as she starts her life and a new journey in Philly all by herself. She is a Child Life Specialist - living in the city. Definitely a change from the SOUTH. Guess what we have already planned to do when I fly up to visit?

That's right. Day trip to NY. And thanks.

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