Feminar Follow-Up; Introduction

Well, Feminar Weekend has come and gone and my how wonderful it was!!!

Last February I attended Feminar for the very first time. It was the first time that I heard Lysa Terkeurst live and she became one of my all-time favorite speakers!!! When I found out she was going to be back again this year I was totally on board!

Click here for my thoughts from last year!

There were many different people who would take the stage this year -

The worship leaders were Philips, Craig, and Dean on Friday evening and then Laura Story on Saturday morning. While I enjoyed both, a river of tears poured out during the worship time on Saturday. It was overwhelming.

A comedian, Jeff Allen, started the evening off with, obviously, a little humor. This next statement will make me sound like a total goof-ball, but I don't like comedians. Well, I guess it's not that I don't like them... I just for some reason don't laugh during a comedians act; Not like the knee slappers next to me. It was nice to have a little support from the sister. We leaned our heads together and whispered, "I think i've laughed one time during his entire act" and then we busted out laughing at the fact that we weren't laughing.

Ooooh it's the unplanned humor that gets us girls! ha.

The speakers for the weekend were Lysa Terkeurst, Janet White and a new lady that i'd never heard before - Lori Salierno.

Before I get into the many things that the Lord spoke to my heart I wanted to simply set the scene and share the funny moments that graced our weekend. So let's start....

During our break on Friday evening mom and Case bought one of Lysa's books. We stood in line so we could meet her and have her sign the title page. We were pretty close to the front of the line so we didn't have to wait very long at all.

Since I'm a planner I had my words all thought through, my camera ready to go so I could get mom and Casie's picture with Lys (can I give her a nick name?), and i was alllll ready to meet her.

Mom hands the book to Lys, spells her name out and tells her that she has been following her blog since last year's feminar and absolutely enjoys her posts. (insert a picture of Meg leaning over to butt into the convo) "Speaking of blogs, are you in for real life friends with the Nester?"

Lysa responded with a smile and YES!

After I snapped the picture of the three of them Lysa asked if I wanted a picture. Since I really and truly did NOT want to hold up the line or cause a scene I said, "No, thanks! I'll be alright!" The sister grabbed the camera and demanded that I get a picture!

As I was walking away Lysa said, I'll let Nester know that she has a fan in Texas! To which I replied, Ok thanks!!

I mean, are you getting this?

When I got back to my seat I was like OH EM GEE.... you big idiot! Nothing like meeting Lysa Terkeurst face to face and saying - Hi, Lysa! You aren't crap, but do you know the Nester? And then to deny wanting a picture with her on top of the fact that I was the only one out of the three that didn't buy a book... which was obvious since I had nothing for her to sign.

I felt completely silly. Way to go, Meg!

When I got home I hopped on her blog and left a comment from the goof-ball at feminar in Texas. I let her know that I completely didn't mean to talk about someone ELSE when I was meeting her for the first time. Gosh.... leave it to me!

Even though I felt slightly insecure and silly, I did let it go and take in a lot of goodness from the weekend.

Check back later for some quotes and notes from Feminar!

An Opportunity to Trust

If you've watched the news or been online or simply been alive I'm sure you have heard all about the protesting of teachers... all that jazz. Not reeeeeally sure where we are headed.

I won't pretend to understand or act like I could even explain to you what is going on. And I definitely don't have all the whys.

All I know is they are making all kinds of cuts due to a lack of funds.

We had our district wide meeting last Thursday so that our superintendent could fill us in on all the possible avenues that could be taken.

There aren't any definites yet. obviously.

Any teacher that has been teaching for three years or less is considered a probationary teacher. That's one of the possible cuts.

As I was leaving the meeting I decided to turn to the only One that was able to provide comfort and peace.

"You are still the same."

There is a lot of talk about what could possibly happen and many new teachers on my campus have stopped by my room to ask if I am worried about my job next year.

My response has been the same everytime: No, honestly, i'm not. And you shouldn't either. There is no point in worrying. If you truly believe that God is in control then that would include even this situation. That doesn't mean I know that I will have a job next year. I'm just choosing to rest in Him. He is good. And He will be the same no matter what happens.

The topic hasn't really even crossed my mind since we left the meeting. And it really doesn't unless the other teachers on campus bring it up. And worrying hasn't really been an option (which might shock some of you). Today has been the only day that i've really thought deep about it. You know the what ifs. But if is just an abbreviation for - I Fear.

It's easy to lay things down that are completely out of your control. Especially when they are still a few months away. But I'm going to take this opportunity to grow closer to my Lord.... to allow my faith to increase.

He has been with me throughout this entire journey and I know it's where I'm suppose to be right now.

So I choose to rest. in the name of Jesus.



And on that same note, tomorrow is my last observation from my Region 7 Supervisor! Crazy that it's finally here. And to think that I almost didn't start this journey because of this one thing - being observed.

Can we say insecure?

I didn't like the idea of someone watching me lead. There was no way. But God is good... and He is always up to more than we think or are aware of.

So I choose to trust. even in this situation.

He is good.


I worship You, Jesus. I know that it's easy to get lost in all the negativity that is going on in the education field and that living a life that is set apart can often fall down a few notches on our to do list.... but I desire to be set apart for You. Lead me and keep me aware of my actions, words, and everything else so that others may see You. Even in these hard times right now. I want You, Jesus. When our heart is following hard after You, it just pours over onto others. You are good. Praise Your name....

Undeserving

I know that no one has probably been missing me or even worried about where I have been lately, but just incase one of you is.... things have been a little rough, crazy, all of the above in just about every area of my life here lately.

The break from Blogger wasn't intended, but not gonna lie, much needed.

In regards to...

my health - I'm on my fourth round of antibiotics (over the past month) and frankly, i'm ready to be better again.

my (calling) job - I feel as though i'm drowning currently.... my brain hit its two month shut down mode this past week and the tears broke through. Soooo very thankful that I know this is where God wants me or else I might join all the others who are looking for other careers. I love what I do, but that doesn't mean I agree or like where education is headed. That's another post - i'll spare you.

my spirit - well..... just pray.

Friday night Kayla and I had a girls night in. We rode the ranger down the street to the general store to order some pizza as well as get some drinks and ice cream-ish dessert. After we finished our supper at Kayla's Traila, we filled in our calendars and made some decisions as far as races that we would like to conquer in the near future.

We decided to space out some races to keep us motivated and moving. Starting with a 5k in March, 10k in May and then we still have to finalize when the half marathon will be. I'm so so so so very excited!

We ordered a movie and enjoyed just being lazy!!! (and I did not grade a single paper.... okay, so I did)

Saturday China and I spent about four hours in my classroom trying to break through the surface of the water that I was clearly drowning in. China was past ready to go home so we took a little break for fresh air outside - the weather was so nice!

Finally, we headed back home and I was pleasently surprised to find that my bedroom was not only spotless, but had been freshly vacuumed. Tears filled up my eyes as I recalled how utterly disgusting, embaressing and horrible the previous state of my bedroom was. It was a serious moment of overwhelming thankfulness.

undeserved.

And to think, I just sat with her in the kitchen and chatted for a few minutes and she didn't mention anything. There was no guilt pushed on me for how terrible it was. And no ounce of her seeking praise. Zero mention.

There were mounds and mounds of clothes that I just kept stepping over and stepping on. I had run out of options as far as outfits to wear to work (and that's says a lot because this chick has got some clothes). I desperately needed to do laundry.

I'm sure my mother had far better things to do on a Saturday - especially with the beautiful weather. But she took the time to do something for me knowing she may not get anything in return.

As I stood in my bathroom and thanked the Lord outloud I thought of how this looked a lot like His mercy and grace. Something we totally don't deserve yet He lavishes upon us knowing that He may not get anything in return.

Unmerited. Undeserved.

I don't think anyone will realize how very thankful I am that my mother took the time to clean my bedroom. It had reached a peek - so high a peek that I wasn't sure when I would find the time or motivation to conquer it. And goodness knows, I haven't helped her enough to deserve what she did for me.

Thank You, Jesus for the thoughtfulness and selfless love of my mother. Even with the many things going on in my life I didn't deserve for someone to take the time to clean my mess for me. I am blessed. And You are good!

Love Out Loud

By the time most of you are reading this Kayla and I will be spending hours upon hours with 14 and 15 year old girls... who have crushes and worry about what to wear and if their hair looks okay and who their bff is.

Oh wait... that's Kayla and I.

Just kidding.

It's been a while since I've been 14 or 15 so they may not even care what they wear or what their hair looks like at that age. But i'm sure they do want a bff and they quite possibly have a crush. or two. or three.

No, really.

This weekend we get the privilege to be the hands and feet of Jesus as we love some girls by spending time with them at D-Now. We are really excited and know that it's not a coincidence that we are here doing this with these specific girls.

The topic is one of my favorites (you've heard me speak on it many times over the past year and a half) - love. More specifically what real love is... and then, how to live in that love. out loud.

If you happen to read this before the weekend actually begins or at any point during the weekend, say a little prayer for us.... not just Kay and I, but the girls in our group. We know that we as human beings don't have much to offer, but we do have Christ in us and the testimony's that He has given us to share.

Since we will be spending a lot of time discussing love this weekend, I tried to think of different ways to start each of our sessions. For the "attention-getter" for our first session I got my little first graders (six to seven year olds) to write on the prompt - What is love?

Here are their innocent thoughts that are clearly shaped by their environment.

Love is good thangs. Love is deep in your heart. Everyone in heaven is in your heart.

Love is how you feel about a person. If you love a person you will not cheat on them.

Love is like holding hands. Love is when you are leaning on someone. When someone likes you.

Love is when you like someone so much you would do anything for them.

It means you love them with all your heart. And it means you care.

My neighbor is love to me.

Love is getting married and having kids. Love is taking care of each other. Love is living with each other.

Love means helping, family, and friends.

Love is a double heart. (alrighty?)

When you don't hate anybody.

Love is neighbor, family, friends, helping people, relationships, and getting married.

Lord, be with Kayla and I as we go into this weekend. We as mere humans don't have much to offer, but we open our mouths and ask that You fill them with the specific words that You want each of these girls to hear. I ask that they might know possibly for the first time just how deep and true and constant Your love is for them. Be our confidence as we carry out the sessions and just exactly what activities we should do. We trust that You are in control of this whole weekend and that nothing will be a surprise to You. We are expecting to receive quite possibly more than we give over these next few days! We love You and are so thankful for You! In the specific name of Jesus Christ.

Where You At?

There's not a lot going on here lately. And by here I don't just mean my blog. When I look down my sidebar to see if anyone has posted it's been about 3-4 days for everybody. What's the deal?

This morning was interesting...

I woke up at 5:30 with a horrible head-ache, but I'm taking some prescription medicine right now and I was too scared to mix any other meds with it without asking my mom first. Therefore, I crawled back in bed with my throbbing head and tried to go back to sleep for another hour.

At 6:40 I got an okay from the madre to pop some pain relievers.

I grabbed a little bag of cookies to eat to get some food in my system, swallowed my pills with some water and then headed up the stairs to finish getting ready for work.

My make-up was a joke. I started to put it on and then after the first two steps I just layed down on the floor.

I decided i'd go ahead and get dressed and run start my car so that (one) it could be heating up and (two) my window would unfreeze. Then, I sat in the living room in the dark until the last possible minute.

Pretty sure I was driving slow all the way to work because every bump or turn felt like I was about to throw up.

When I got out of the car I was ready to strip off my jacket - the cold felt soooooo good.

I walked straight in and told my principal that I just did not think I was going to make it through the day. And..... my shades were still on.

After an hour of being the zombie teacher and scrambling to get sub plans ready, I came home and crawled back in my bed. And I didn't get up until two o' clock this afternoon.

Head-ache was still there to greet me.

And it is still here currently, but my shades are off and there is no vomit. And it definitely helps if I just squeeze my entire head. You think people would find me strange if I walked around like that?

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a different story! (Glad you could join me!! Maybe this is why no one is blogging... or reading this week!)

share-able

Snow day, Snow day, Snow day!

This cold weather is so not my style, but believe it or not, I prayed for weather that would close the schools today. We won't get into the why's but Sommmmmebody heard my praaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayers!! (please sing that)

Okay, all silliness aside.

I sat down at my computer to check a few blogs as I waited for friends to get here to play in the snow... and I found this post. It made me cry and pray and even in the tiniest amount - dare to believe. Even if for a second.

And so I wanted to share the link with you guys.

Because if you are 23 (like me) and every single one of your friends is engaged, married, and even pregnant with their first child.... there are days when you wake up in a sappy mood.

You have heard me say it on here before and I do believe it and mean it - His timing is what I want and I do trust Him. But that doesn't mean there aren't days when my heart (and mind) are tempted to curl up and hurt.

And while i've learned to defeat that voice that says i'm not worthy enough or won't ever find love or will always have issues, there are still days when it is hard. I just think of it as learning to defeat the voice of impossible and choosing to have faith. Every struggle is worth something.

Wednesday night a woman sitting next to me in choir made a comment similar to - Meg, you gotta stop shuttin off or you gonna be an old granny one of these days.

And while I do trust the Lord and have made huge leaps when it comes to relationships (whether it be friendships or stepping out to go on a date) there are major fears when I think of dating. This week I had an interesting situation that brought up those feelings of what it was like to go through a "break up" and I thought ughhhhhhhhhhhh I don't miss dating.

So this post - Waiting For Lightning to Strike Twice; Risking it For Love spoke volumes to my terrified little heart.

And I just found it share-able. So enjoy!

Getting Ready Period

I have had that hardest time signing into my blog the past few weeks. Our email through the school is now through g mail which is also Google... so that means I have two accounts with Google; my blogger account and my school account. When I check my school mail at home it logs me in with that account and then never wants to log me out. So every time I type in blogger.com it automatically goes to my email and thus, I grunt. out. loud.

Really and truly it's alright because I haven't really had much to say here lately. Ever have those seasons? And let me just say, you don't really want or need to hear my posts during those times because they will not be beneficial and often times will be self-centered. Pity Pity.

There was a little more determination to find a way to log out and log back in with my blogger account tonight because I just felt the need to unload. And so here I sit.... innnnnn my blogger account. Hip Hip Hooray!

I don't really know how many people actually read my blog and really the number is irrelevant, but for those of you who have kept up on a pretty consistent basis you may remember this post - choosing to trust and persevere.

Just a brief little summary of that post.... I was in the middle of getting my alternative certification, which is a process that takes a few months (or for me, two years) and I felt something on my heart. I remember going through all the possibilities 'oh maybe i'm creating this voice' 'oh maybe this is nothing' - but there is one thing for sure, it was so strong and it spoke to me in that season.

I remember sitting at work as tears filled up in my eyes thinking - you know, I don't have that 'piece of paper' that even says i'm done yet, but if You are calling me somewhere else I don't care how silly it'll look to quit right smack dab in the middle of this process. I'm on board with your plans for my life.

And I really was.

But there were no doors and I wasn't even sure what He was doing with/to my heart.

If you read that post you'll see a quote that I found a few months later one night as I was reading. It was still on my mind and I was battling beginning my first teaching job with my heart feeling like all this other stuff was just "going on" inside. In those months I learned to beg God for passion in the NOW and to trust and rest in the fact that He will deliver it in His name.

Tonight I went back to that quote -

Even in this seemingly unimportant time of pruning and trials, God is preparing me for the next step. This "getting ready period" is not a waste of time. It is an important part of fulfilling my calling. Though I can't see much fruit, God is getting my branches ready and healthy enough to hold all He knows is coming.

As I read back over it I thought about all the Lord has done through this job.... and since this is my journal, my place to share my journey, I want to document the things I am currently feeling in this "getting ready period" as God is getting my branches ready and healthy enough to hold all He knows is coming.

Through teaching God has prepared me to stand up in front of a crowd and speak.

Through teaching God has shown me what it is to have confidence (in His name).

Through teaching walls of acceptance have slowly been broken down.

Through teaching God has revealed to me that I have a purpose and that He will equip me where-ever He calls me (no matter the amount of experience or training).... never did I think I was capable to lead a group of students.

Through teaching God has taught me peace. and rest. and trust.

Through teaching God has taught me what it means to get on my face and trust Him for passion and abundance everyday.

Through teaching God has prepared me for motherhood.

Through teaching God has taught me to love.... even the most hardest person. compassion.

Through teaching God has increased my faith.

And so I stand (okay i'm sitting) here overwhelmed tonight.... I still don't know if He has some kind of plans for me to be a speaker someday or to lead worship with a group of women or simply to be a mother... and the good thing is, I don't have to figure it all out or worry about it. But I know that this season of my life is often what keeps me going when i'm in the midst of a valley. It's the one thing that I cling to when everything else makes me want to doubt.

And so I just wonder for you... Is there a season of your life that stands out more than others? Is there a season or situation in your life that you cling to in the midst of struggle? Is there a season of your life that seemed like the Lord packed so much growth and change into that you will not forget? Is there a period where You can see now that He was getting your branches ready and healthy to hold all He knew was coming?

Thank You, Jesus, for that season of my life. I don't think I could ever express to anyone all the many things I learned and felt and experienced during that time. I felt like I could conquer the world and so many needy little pieces of me fell away. It is truly the place that my mind goes to many times when I want to give up. And so I thank You for working out my steps when I really had no clue that You were doing so. You are the only person that knows what is going to happen in the future and because of who You are I can rest that You have everything under control even when it may not seem or feel like it. I ask for a heart full of You.... I ask for a genuine heart that isn't afraid to share her story, but is so certain of all that God has done in her life that she just overflows with encouragement as she shares her life. And that sentence felt like it was packed full of all kinds of grammatical errors, but you got me.... thank You for all that You are teaching me. Thank You for peace when it comes to teaching. I know that this is where I am supposed to be and I love it... even on the hard days. May You receive glory... I love You and I want You, Jesus Christ.