Levi: "Will somebody bite me?"
Me: "bite you? Why do you want someone to bite you?"
Levi: " i don't know, just cause"
10 year old friend: "i know a guy at Trinity named Jaden who would bite you... he bit me one time and took the skin off my back. He is in Pre-school."
Me: "Levi wasn't one of your friends in your class last year named Jaden?"
Levi: "Yep."
10 yr old friend: (announces his last name - of course Levi has no idea.) "What does your friend look like?"
Levi dead serious - concentrating hard on describing this kid: "well, he has brown hair ...and he has a face... he's a little browner dan me dough.... and he wears a green shirt with black shorts everyday... he looked the same all the days at school."
the rest of us are rolling in laughter as he continues to describe this little boy...
Me: "Well i am totally loving that he has a face!"
Levi is continuing to blab on and on about what his friend looks like, and we are still laughing!
Kid's, man, they crack me up! To watch them grow from stage to stage, to see them talk and describe things, to remember things from days before, to try to think things through in their tiny brains that can't quite understand everything... Levi has been keeping the laughs coming this week.
We had a play day with some friends on Wednesday. On the way over we pulled up to a red light, so i turned down the music and we prayed for our day - thanking God for friends! The next day we pulled up to the same red light and from the back seat Levi says,
"Remember yesterday when we stopped at this red light and you prayed for us."
at this point i'm totally smiling on the inside and out...
"Yes, Levi, i remember. Did you like it?"
"yeah it was fun, but i don't like it... it's too hard."
"it's just like talking to your mom, dad, and zoey. He just wants to be your friend!"
"Well there's too many questions and i'm just not interested."
"Well He's interested in you and when you are ready to talk to Him He will listen."
"What if everyone else decides to pray at the same time i do?"
:) haha! "He's a real BIG God and He can hear everyone at the same time!"
"so he has like 20 ears?"
He was walking around earlier tooting up a storm - i very gently told him that he better get all those out at home because we will not be having that at Cici's Pizza. He laughed and took me a little too seriously.... he has been tooting nonstop for a while.
I must admit i've been pretty sweet to him these past 3 days.
Look what happened as we were playing Wii before we left to go to the Johnson's to have a play day.
Levi's player comes up to bat (i had the controller)...
Me: "look Levi here you are!"
Levi: "O yeah yeah, hit it good... get me a good one."
Getting my stance ready, here's the pitch, swing, and HOMERUN!
Me: "yay, Levi we got a home run!" High fives back and forth about 5 times!
Levi: "YEAH YEAH YEAH! You know what? One day Zoey is going to leave... it's going to be me and Megan day.... and we are going to do our own thing."
So sweet that that dude wants to hang out with me - wooo i gotta go pray about that day! :)
Friday, August 1, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
The Love of My Life
I'm such a nerd! I have to get my music going whenever i get on here.... it's like my drugs or something. I can't just sit here in silence while i mingle or surf the web. It's usually the first thing i get started before i head to all my preferred sites. After about 3 minutes i noticed that it was very very quiet... actually, silent! Where was my music? Ah ha, it's on mute! I unmuted the dude and we had about 4 songs going. It was a TOTAL wreck. That is very random, but that's me! Wish you could have heard that mess! It's all better now - i have ONE page playing instead of every blogger and page i'm viewing.
For some reason i haven't been able to put words (through blogging) to what i have been learning through some awesome passages in the bible. So tonight this post will be very very, i'm talking, VERY random. I'm just going to start typing and see what comes out...
It seems as though something inside of me has changed within the past few days. Ok so i know that i didn't wake up all of a sudden and am a new person... i believe it's part of the process of falling in love with the Lord.
Last week while we were camping up in the moutains there were these moments where i felt like i needed to go outside, lift my hands up to the sky, and just be in AWE in total silence before my Lord... I was always afraid of what my family would think though. don't ask me why? aint got a clue. I suppose something to do with pride?
I have now resolved to let that crap go... i walked in the house today and felt the need to pray with my mother. I don't think i've ever asked her to do that. I flat out walked up to her and said, "can we get on our knees and pray?" so there in the middle of our living room around 7:30 tonight, we got down on the floor and prayed.
Like i mentioned last night, i want to be willing to do whatever He wants me to do - no matter how small or HUGE that may be.
I have cried out over the past 5 months for a heart that is genuine. Not a heart that knows all of the right things and prays them without truly truly meaning them. A heart that is flat out in LOVE with the Lord, who is passionate about reading His word, who will be so deep with Him that she can't help but recognize His voice over any other... a heart that is in LOVE with His way... the Way He intended for relationships to be... a heart that loves the needy... a heart that is not judgemental, but will stand in the way to help that person find a way to stop what they are doing... a heart that cares and understands... one that won't give up or give in... a heart that knows the right thing and wants to do it...
ok ok i'm blabbing on and on. I felt like in the past you could ask me a question and i'd be like, 'ok i know i'm SUPPOSED to feel this way, but i dont feel like i do.'
That was no longer ok for me...
I didn't want to go through the motions. I didn't want to sing songs at church and not feel anything in my heart. It's like ok this should mean something to me, this should grab ahold of me - WHY ISN'T IT? I couldn't take mediocre anymore. I had to spend time on my heart. I had to get to the place where this was all REAL to me.
I can't come before the Lord being anything but myself. He knows me, He knows my heart, He knows when i'm genuine... and so that's what i wanted. And i was willing to cry for months, even years until i found it.
Our pastor was talking about a woman who was lying on her bed, literally minutes from passing away. She layed there with this peaceful smile on her face like she was starring at something above her. When she was asked what was happening she mentioned that Jesus was calling her home... "it's Jesus, i can see Him."
I thought about myself when i heard that story.
I am supposed to love the Lord more than LIFE itself. More than my relationships. More than my career. More than my posessions. I am ONLY here to spread His Gospel, His love.
It's like pictured myself laying there going, "o my gosh... this is really about to happen. I am about to go meet Jesus. Did i do everything right? Did i do all that i was supposed to? Am i ready for this? Do i even know Him?" It's like i was freaking out. and that's opposite of what it should be.
Death is a beginning for us - we are finally going home. We should enjoy life here and live it to the MAX, sharing God's love to everyone we come in contact with. But we should be ready to go and meet Him. I should love Him more than anyone else in this world. I should be super excited and ready for the day for Him to return and call me Home.
Once again i can't even express all that was going through my mind that night. All i know is that i want Him. I want to love Him, i want to be ready and excited to go and meet Him... I want my heart to desire to be the door keeper in His courts than any other place... do you get what i'm saying?
Nothing else should matter to me. That doesn't mean that i'm not going to have desires or work towards things... it means the driving force behind all of that should be to proclaim Christ love in WHATEVER i'm doing. Wether it's working, babysitting, singing, driving my car, cleaning my house, disciplining my children, wearing my clothes... you get the pic!
I am scheduled to sing this Sunday Night at church... since i've gotten to this point in my life where i'm truly striving with everything in me to get my heart, mind, and life right with Him, i picked this song that talks about New Life Beginning.
Then And There (Lauren Talley)
Every road i'd walked had lead to no where.
Everything i'd tried had turned out wrong.
It seemed i'd lost my reason to get up every morning,
for I had lost all hope and lost my song.
Circumstances said I wouldn't make it,
but that was all before i met the Man who put His arms around me,
I heard Him say forgiven and I knew i'd never be the same again.
Then and There,
Settled and done.
Then and There.
Victory won.
No more walking on my own,
no more facing life alone,
no more struggling with guilt and despair.
A new Life began, Then and There.
And now my heart is getting restless
longing for the day He'll come.
When we've fought the final fight,
and our faith has been made sight.
And we stand before the Throne and hear Him say,
Well Done.
Then and There.
Settled and Done.
Then and There.
The victory won.
No more pain, no more fear
no more death and no more tears
no more walking through the night, for the Lamb will be the light
No more sin, no more burdens to bear.
A new Life begins, Then and There.
Then and There....
A new Life begins - Then and There.
I wish i could say that my life changed the moment that i asked Jesus into my life, and into my heart... but i can not. The destination changed, but me as a person did not change. I've often thoguht about that. Was i really saved? Did i know what i was doing? I've prayed over this situation many times because there are moments whenever it causes me so much anxiety and grief. My life has changed within the past months.... Then and There in those moments something inside of me decided to quit with the past and with the crap and change what i was doing. I had done it my whole life, knowing it was wrong - longing for what everyone else claimed to have, but never knowing how to get deeper.
I believe to many high schoolers or even people my age don't understand. They don't hang on long enough to see the fruit, the growth, or experience His presence. They expect to call on Him and in that moment EVERYTHING about their life, their heart, their attitude, their desires to change.... it's SO not about a feeling. We have to have discipline and fight. We have to hang on long enough, endure, keep reading, keep crying out and praying until we finally get the picture. He will come. He will show up. He just wants to see that you truly mean it. Or atleast that's how my story goes.
I went to too many youth camps getting on fire and it lasting about a week. Making all these commitments. Lifting my hands up and closing my eyes infront of all my peers. Talking about things changing... when nothing ever came from it. When truly inside i didn't feel or sense anything different.
I think i wanted to... but never fully grasped or understood what i was saying.
There is a place in my heart that wants those younger than me, those beginning this journey with the Lord to know that it's okay to admit certain things.... it's ok to feel like the bible is boring, it's ok to not understand, it's even ok to doubt if He is real.... TOOOO many of us hide so much of what we think about.
I want to be there whenever you feel like you don't understand, when you feel bored, when you feel stupid because you aren't getting what everyone else is getting, when you are doubting what all this means and if it's truly REAL... i want to be there for you to encourage you. To listen. To pray. To share if you need it. I believe it's important.
Maybe this is only my story.... but i don't think it is.
I am a person who wants my kids to know my past... not because i'm proud, but because i want to be completely transparent. They need to know that i screwed up. They need to know that i doubted too. They need to know that i didn't just wake up and totally understand and get excited about His Word. They need to see 'ME' - because all of that is apart of ME! (o' my goodness my eyes are watering... i think we've hit something.)
Anyways, i don't know how to close this, and i'm not even sure if it flows or makes sense... i want to be real. (flat out, nothing to hide, REAL) I don't want your approval, your acceptance, your applause... i want His. I want to sing and mean it. I want to pray and mean it. I want to love and mean it. I want to be changed by Him... truly!
How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young- a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God. Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you. Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion. Hear my prayer, o LORD God Almighty; listen to me, O God of Jacob. Look upon our shield, O God; look with favor on your anointed one. Better is one day in your courts than a thosand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you. Psalm 84
For some reason i haven't been able to put words (through blogging) to what i have been learning through some awesome passages in the bible. So tonight this post will be very very, i'm talking, VERY random. I'm just going to start typing and see what comes out...
It seems as though something inside of me has changed within the past few days. Ok so i know that i didn't wake up all of a sudden and am a new person... i believe it's part of the process of falling in love with the Lord.
Last week while we were camping up in the moutains there were these moments where i felt like i needed to go outside, lift my hands up to the sky, and just be in AWE in total silence before my Lord... I was always afraid of what my family would think though. don't ask me why? aint got a clue. I suppose something to do with pride?
I have now resolved to let that crap go... i walked in the house today and felt the need to pray with my mother. I don't think i've ever asked her to do that. I flat out walked up to her and said, "can we get on our knees and pray?" so there in the middle of our living room around 7:30 tonight, we got down on the floor and prayed.
Like i mentioned last night, i want to be willing to do whatever He wants me to do - no matter how small or HUGE that may be.
I have cried out over the past 5 months for a heart that is genuine. Not a heart that knows all of the right things and prays them without truly truly meaning them. A heart that is flat out in LOVE with the Lord, who is passionate about reading His word, who will be so deep with Him that she can't help but recognize His voice over any other... a heart that is in LOVE with His way... the Way He intended for relationships to be... a heart that loves the needy... a heart that is not judgemental, but will stand in the way to help that person find a way to stop what they are doing... a heart that cares and understands... one that won't give up or give in... a heart that knows the right thing and wants to do it...
ok ok i'm blabbing on and on. I felt like in the past you could ask me a question and i'd be like, 'ok i know i'm SUPPOSED to feel this way, but i dont feel like i do.'
That was no longer ok for me...
I didn't want to go through the motions. I didn't want to sing songs at church and not feel anything in my heart. It's like ok this should mean something to me, this should grab ahold of me - WHY ISN'T IT? I couldn't take mediocre anymore. I had to spend time on my heart. I had to get to the place where this was all REAL to me.
I can't come before the Lord being anything but myself. He knows me, He knows my heart, He knows when i'm genuine... and so that's what i wanted. And i was willing to cry for months, even years until i found it.
Our pastor was talking about a woman who was lying on her bed, literally minutes from passing away. She layed there with this peaceful smile on her face like she was starring at something above her. When she was asked what was happening she mentioned that Jesus was calling her home... "it's Jesus, i can see Him."
I thought about myself when i heard that story.
I am supposed to love the Lord more than LIFE itself. More than my relationships. More than my career. More than my posessions. I am ONLY here to spread His Gospel, His love.
It's like pictured myself laying there going, "o my gosh... this is really about to happen. I am about to go meet Jesus. Did i do everything right? Did i do all that i was supposed to? Am i ready for this? Do i even know Him?" It's like i was freaking out. and that's opposite of what it should be.
Death is a beginning for us - we are finally going home. We should enjoy life here and live it to the MAX, sharing God's love to everyone we come in contact with. But we should be ready to go and meet Him. I should love Him more than anyone else in this world. I should be super excited and ready for the day for Him to return and call me Home.
Once again i can't even express all that was going through my mind that night. All i know is that i want Him. I want to love Him, i want to be ready and excited to go and meet Him... I want my heart to desire to be the door keeper in His courts than any other place... do you get what i'm saying?
Nothing else should matter to me. That doesn't mean that i'm not going to have desires or work towards things... it means the driving force behind all of that should be to proclaim Christ love in WHATEVER i'm doing. Wether it's working, babysitting, singing, driving my car, cleaning my house, disciplining my children, wearing my clothes... you get the pic!
I am scheduled to sing this Sunday Night at church... since i've gotten to this point in my life where i'm truly striving with everything in me to get my heart, mind, and life right with Him, i picked this song that talks about New Life Beginning.
Then And There (Lauren Talley)
Every road i'd walked had lead to no where.
Everything i'd tried had turned out wrong.
It seemed i'd lost my reason to get up every morning,
for I had lost all hope and lost my song.
Circumstances said I wouldn't make it,
but that was all before i met the Man who put His arms around me,
I heard Him say forgiven and I knew i'd never be the same again.
Then and There,
Settled and done.
Then and There.
Victory won.
No more walking on my own,
no more facing life alone,
no more struggling with guilt and despair.
A new Life began, Then and There.
And now my heart is getting restless
longing for the day He'll come.
When we've fought the final fight,
and our faith has been made sight.
And we stand before the Throne and hear Him say,
Well Done.
Then and There.
Settled and Done.
Then and There.
The victory won.
No more pain, no more fear
no more death and no more tears
no more walking through the night, for the Lamb will be the light
No more sin, no more burdens to bear.
A new Life begins, Then and There.
Then and There....
A new Life begins - Then and There.
I wish i could say that my life changed the moment that i asked Jesus into my life, and into my heart... but i can not. The destination changed, but me as a person did not change. I've often thoguht about that. Was i really saved? Did i know what i was doing? I've prayed over this situation many times because there are moments whenever it causes me so much anxiety and grief. My life has changed within the past months.... Then and There in those moments something inside of me decided to quit with the past and with the crap and change what i was doing. I had done it my whole life, knowing it was wrong - longing for what everyone else claimed to have, but never knowing how to get deeper.
I believe to many high schoolers or even people my age don't understand. They don't hang on long enough to see the fruit, the growth, or experience His presence. They expect to call on Him and in that moment EVERYTHING about their life, their heart, their attitude, their desires to change.... it's SO not about a feeling. We have to have discipline and fight. We have to hang on long enough, endure, keep reading, keep crying out and praying until we finally get the picture. He will come. He will show up. He just wants to see that you truly mean it. Or atleast that's how my story goes.
I went to too many youth camps getting on fire and it lasting about a week. Making all these commitments. Lifting my hands up and closing my eyes infront of all my peers. Talking about things changing... when nothing ever came from it. When truly inside i didn't feel or sense anything different.
I think i wanted to... but never fully grasped or understood what i was saying.
There is a place in my heart that wants those younger than me, those beginning this journey with the Lord to know that it's okay to admit certain things.... it's ok to feel like the bible is boring, it's ok to not understand, it's even ok to doubt if He is real.... TOOOO many of us hide so much of what we think about.
I want to be there whenever you feel like you don't understand, when you feel bored, when you feel stupid because you aren't getting what everyone else is getting, when you are doubting what all this means and if it's truly REAL... i want to be there for you to encourage you. To listen. To pray. To share if you need it. I believe it's important.
Maybe this is only my story.... but i don't think it is.
I am a person who wants my kids to know my past... not because i'm proud, but because i want to be completely transparent. They need to know that i screwed up. They need to know that i doubted too. They need to know that i didn't just wake up and totally understand and get excited about His Word. They need to see 'ME' - because all of that is apart of ME! (o' my goodness my eyes are watering... i think we've hit something.)
Anyways, i don't know how to close this, and i'm not even sure if it flows or makes sense... i want to be real. (flat out, nothing to hide, REAL) I don't want your approval, your acceptance, your applause... i want His. I want to sing and mean it. I want to pray and mean it. I want to love and mean it. I want to be changed by Him... truly!
How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty! My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God. Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young- a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God. Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you. Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion. Hear my prayer, o LORD God Almighty; listen to me, O God of Jacob. Look upon our shield, O God; look with favor on your anointed one. Better is one day in your courts than a thosand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you. Psalm 84
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Be a Mentor
A few months ago i was talking with a friend about discipleship and mentoring...
We admitted to each other that no one had been a true mentor to us while starting our walk with the Lord, or encouraging us to continue on.
This friend asked me to think about it... He felt that it was important and that the Lord had laid it on his heart. I prayed about it every now and then, but never faithfully.
Not far from the day he mentioned it to me one of my religion teachers also brought it up. I made a note in the margin of my page that day in class.... to pray about mentoring someone. For the Lord to lay it on my heart a specific name of someone that He wanted me to spend time with. Share my specific story with.
I can't remember exactly how close these happened within each other... but if i'm not mistaken it was all within the same week or two.
I was studying and preparing my lesson for Sunday School - can you guess what the lesson was over? Being a Mentor.
I remember thinking back then that'd it definetly be frightening. I wouldn't have a clue where to start. What to do, or even say. I wish i could say that i've been praying since then, but i have not.
It's one of those moments where you pray for a few days and then you forget about it.... such a shame.
I say all of this because i have someone on my mind. I didn't dwell on it long, it kind of just passed through.... Her name and possibly the thought of mentoring.
A few minutes ago my mother came in the room with the phone in her hand. She had just hung up with a friend who wanted to thank me for the influence i was having on their daughter.
I couldn't even look my mother in the eyes. I stared at the floor holding back the tears from flowing.
I kind of laughed and my mother said - "Megan your walk is starting to match your talk and this person has noticed."
It was the same girl who i'd thought about earlier.
I am SO not worthy enough.... i've made so many many many mistakes in my life that most people probably don't even have a clue about. I'm not qualified nor smart enough, but thank the Lord... because in my weakness He is proven strong. I'm not sure what to say to this person or where to begin with her... I've never done this before. Which means that it's going to be a growing experience for each of us.
I am going to pray over this a little longer to make sure this is truly from the Lord. Then i am going to see how He leads this relationship and situation.
Have i used up my prayer requests, or can i ask you for another? :)
I am reminded once again the impact we have on people even when we don't realize it... it's when we aren't trying to please anyone but the Lord that we have the most influence on someone's life. [Be aware! People are watching - who are you living for?]
O God i'm listening... please please bring me into Your presence. A place where i am not worthy to be, but long to be so bad. I am realizing that you don't speak on my terms or my time... o but i want to be awake, alert, and ready when you choose to... Take me deeper Lord. Father guide me in this situation. Confirm this if it's what you want from me. May Your Will be done - I surrender all to You. I love You - I need You.
We admitted to each other that no one had been a true mentor to us while starting our walk with the Lord, or encouraging us to continue on.
This friend asked me to think about it... He felt that it was important and that the Lord had laid it on his heart. I prayed about it every now and then, but never faithfully.
Not far from the day he mentioned it to me one of my religion teachers also brought it up. I made a note in the margin of my page that day in class.... to pray about mentoring someone. For the Lord to lay it on my heart a specific name of someone that He wanted me to spend time with. Share my specific story with.
I can't remember exactly how close these happened within each other... but if i'm not mistaken it was all within the same week or two.
I was studying and preparing my lesson for Sunday School - can you guess what the lesson was over? Being a Mentor.
I remember thinking back then that'd it definetly be frightening. I wouldn't have a clue where to start. What to do, or even say. I wish i could say that i've been praying since then, but i have not.
It's one of those moments where you pray for a few days and then you forget about it.... such a shame.
I say all of this because i have someone on my mind. I didn't dwell on it long, it kind of just passed through.... Her name and possibly the thought of mentoring.
A few minutes ago my mother came in the room with the phone in her hand. She had just hung up with a friend who wanted to thank me for the influence i was having on their daughter.
I couldn't even look my mother in the eyes. I stared at the floor holding back the tears from flowing.
I kind of laughed and my mother said - "Megan your walk is starting to match your talk and this person has noticed."
It was the same girl who i'd thought about earlier.
I am SO not worthy enough.... i've made so many many many mistakes in my life that most people probably don't even have a clue about. I'm not qualified nor smart enough, but thank the Lord... because in my weakness He is proven strong. I'm not sure what to say to this person or where to begin with her... I've never done this before. Which means that it's going to be a growing experience for each of us.
I am going to pray over this a little longer to make sure this is truly from the Lord. Then i am going to see how He leads this relationship and situation.
Have i used up my prayer requests, or can i ask you for another? :)
I am reminded once again the impact we have on people even when we don't realize it... it's when we aren't trying to please anyone but the Lord that we have the most influence on someone's life. [Be aware! People are watching - who are you living for?]
O God i'm listening... please please bring me into Your presence. A place where i am not worthy to be, but long to be so bad. I am realizing that you don't speak on my terms or my time... o but i want to be awake, alert, and ready when you choose to... Take me deeper Lord. Father guide me in this situation. Confirm this if it's what you want from me. May Your Will be done - I surrender all to You. I love You - I need You.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Decisions.
I have been thinking about my blog all day.... what to say? how much to share? what to talk about?
My emotions have been like a whirlwind inside of me all day. I have shed many tears today before the Lord - some out of frustration, others out of complete fear, and still others because i long to be in His presence. I long for everything in me to be His. I want to be willing to drop everything that i am doing and go where He calls me. Wether that be while i'm in a movie theatre and feel the need to get up and leave....or if it be to wake up at a random hour in the middle of the night and pray.... or to stand up for something that i believe in no matter who is there and what they'll think of me... if it be to lift up my hands infront of a group of people - with tears streaming down my face... if that means walking this way while everyone else i know is walking the other way... if it means stopping this job or that degree and starting another... i long to know Him and be completely obedient.
I posted a while back with some things that i was struggling with - i have been thinking on those for a while. I feel like i have come to realize some things, but haven't been able to post about them yet.
I have never truly had to make a 'decision' in my life. I mean up to this point everything was kind of planned out for me. When you're a kid you kind of just follow where ever your parents take you. You go to elementary school, middle school, junior high, high school, and then for me - college. Even when it came to getting a job in high school - i never made the decision on my own... my parents had to force me by threatening to take away my car.
I remember trying to decide where to go to college. I guess it was the first and only decision i really made... although the ONLY place i looked was Ouachita. I never had an interest in any school or career or degree - never had thought about... never had to make a decision towards MYSELF up to this point. I just figured one day i would wake up and KNOW! i dont know maybe? My choir teacher talked about OBU all the time through out my years in her choir program... never did i have an interest in it. She took groups of people down to visit the campus every year - never did i go. I don't remember the day that i changed my mind.... could not tell you when it even came into the picture. All i know and remember is that we took a trip up there all of a sudden and i auditioned for the Dean of the School of Music. I don't know have a clue what my thoughts were or my motives of going to this school... Both of my parents went with me to my audition. I warmed up with a wonderful encouraging lady who eventually ( a year n a half later ) became my voice teacher and person who i could confide in. After i sang through my songs for the Dean and Choir Teacher, they took me into this office with my parents... we were sitting there waiting to hear if they were going to offer us a scholarship and if so, what that amount would be.
They announced the amount to us... it was the highest amount they gave to anyone. I was excited (because back then didn't have much confidence), but i had no clue about money. I didn't know anything about tuition cost and if this award would help significantly or what not. I was just excited that i got anything at all. After we left the office mom and I stopped to use the rest room. I was still completely lost i guess (i thought everything was good, YAY we got a scholarship) - i remember her telling me that i could not go to school there. I stood there confused, realizing that i wouldn't understand because i didn't comprehend the whole money situation. We got in the car and started to head home.
For the next few blocks my parents argued over wether or not we should turn around and go talk to someone about our situation. (o yeah, this school was out of state) To this day i can see myself sitting in the back seat unafraid, not worried.... i'm not sure if it was a peace from the LORD... I just know that i knew this is where i was going (because my God isn't worried about money). I guess part of me was certain. I didn't want to look anywhere else - i dont know if it's because i just didn't want to, or if it truly was the Lord through me.
We did turn around that day - we talked to my admissions counselor and ended up getting more scholarships... they were so helpful and willing to do whatever it took to get me to this school. I still don't know if i made the right choice to go to that school. I regret a lot about it. Not the school, but i guess myself.
I spent too much of my time worrying about my 'decison'... i didn't feel right about my major, the guy i was dating, the school i was at...
I had never had a responsibility... i didn't know the Lord as much as i lead myself on to believe... I had never had to make friends ...
With the situation with my ex ending, i once again had no say in the decision that was made.... Don't get me wrong - i'm thankful that my parents stepped in. Who knows where i would be right now... I just wish that i would have been mature enough to choose on my own. I was just so worried about everything - expecting it all to fall into place and make sense... but nothing ever went away. All the doubts were still there - with the relationship (and with school.)
I sat there a few weeks ago thinking about my past and where i was with the Lord right now. I was so desperate to hear from Him... i had heard so many people talk about 'hearing' Him and being completely 'certain' that this is where He wanted them. i wanted that for myself. I trust in God - i believe in who He is, completely - i know what He is capable of - i believe in His power...
I am afraid of myself.
I know that He can speak to me - i was afraid i was not going to recognize it... I know that He loves me - i was afraid i was going to ignore His love and His guidance...
I don't trust myself.
It's like i look at life and situations in 2 categories -
Somethings happen to us that are completely out of our control... such as miscarriages, lost loved ones, car accidents, getting sick....
Then there are situations where we must 'decide'.
Remember this is what i'm not GOOD at it... have never had to do it. I know that God has plans for me - plans for a hope and future... and He will finish those plans. But I also know that i have to be willing to listen to Him and i ultimately must choose what to do. What if i don't recognize His voice? What if i 'choose' the wrong thing?
I guess in the past i have always taken situation number 1 above and been okay with it. I'll just let it go and realize that it was or was not God's Will. But when it comes to me listening to His voice and then 'deciding' - I freak out.
From that moment on i changed the way i was offering up my prayers.... (through reading another woman's blog and feeling lead to do so). I am still very afraid, but am learning to WAIT. Continually telling myself that He WILL speak to me when He is ready... all i can do is seek Him over and over, and ask Him to open my Spiritual Ears so that i can recognize Him in whatever way He chooses to speak to me.
I don't want to box in Him - we are called to have faith like little children... i guess i'm just really really worried that i'm not going to hear Him... then i'm afraid that i expect to hear Him in the wrong way....
I realize that this post is probably not making much sense and is very random, but i ask for your prayers. I have been trying to step out on my own for the past 4 months. To rely on my Father and not MAN. I've been seeking His face more than ever before in my life. I'm still unsure of what He is telling me, but in my heart i kind of feel like i'm getting a certain answer over and over. Not sure if it's Him though. I just keep praying that He will continue to speak to me over and over, like He did Samuel, until i recognize that it's the Lord that is speaking to me...
So i type this asking for your prayers - to be sure of what the Lord wants me to do in this situation.... no matter how fearful i may be. I want to hear Him for myself so bad, make a decision, and feel certain that it was the Lord who spoke it to me...
I want to make a decision on my own, people....
I also have some more prayer requests to lift up - A guy came up to me at church last night asking about my major... i told him (General Studies) and he responded with this, "you are better than that... that's a degree for people who have no goals." I wasn't sure how to respond to that... what to think. i'm not sure if the degree i'm getting is the one that Christ wants me to pursue. It's been on my mind for a while (actually since my freshman year, yeah see- still there) It's my last year of school so it's kind of late to change, but if that's what He wants of me then i want to be obedient. I took the easy way out a year ago thinking maybe this is where He wants me, but now i'm not sure. I can see both sides in the situation... I know that even though i may have taken the easy way and made a mistake, this could be exactly where He wants me and just wants my trust when May comes that He will guide me and open the door for a job or what not.... I also know that He may want me to change no matter the issues of money or time, and that even though i may not feel smart enough, confident enough, or qualified enough - He could very well be calling me to pursue this other degree.... so i ask that if this is where He wants me and the exact degree that He wants me to have that i will find His peace and continue on trusting Him with my future... if not then i will be able to stand up, get loans for myself (because once this year is over, i'm on my own), and fall in love with what ever He calls me to do.
Also, my mother turned in her two weeks resignation today.... i know i haven't mentioned anything, so this is probably a total shock. She didn't want to let it out until it was a sure thing. She had been praying about this job for a while - she did one of those 'specific' prayers where she asked for a flat out sign and if it didnt happen then it wasnt His Will for her. It kind of bothered me, but if that's what she felt lead to do then i trust her. Turns out He far exceeded her sign that she was asking for... so she felt like she couldn't turn down the offer. This job is less than she is making in her current one, but she feels like it's where He wants her. Pray for His confirmation continually even though the decision is already made. I just want her to be happy! Her job won't make her happy, only Christ will... So i just ask you to pray for her with this new job and yeah - you get what i'm saying.
K well..... this entry has been all over the place. And i'm sorry for that - i need your prayers. I want to know my Savior so bad.... I want to know what it means to hear His Voice... His guidance... i don't want to feel stupid anymore - like i'm doing the wrong thing when everyone else is so strongly feeling something else.... AHH, if you just knew my heart and my mind - i can't even express it to you. I'm so tired of jumping off one side of the fence, guessing that maybe this is the right way. For once in my life, i want to be Megan (completely on her own), seeking the Lord, and then in return hearing His answer.
Thank you all for the influence you are having in my life. You do not realize it... truly. Good night for now. I love each of you.
Father, Creator, Lover of my soul, please draw near. You know me inside, You know when my heart is genuine. I can't come before you being anything else than flat out what you see in me. I can't fool you.... sometimes i feel like my heart longs to be real, but my head tells me that i'm not there. Take me deeper Lord. You don't want me to know all the details or even understand - you just want my trust and obedience. Father i need you. I need you to open my ears and my eyes so that i can find You.... see You.... hear You... know You. I love You Father. I recognize that you know exactly what i need - so please help me to recognize your voice and where you are calling me. I will go, i just need you to show me... please. Forgive me for the sin in my life. O God, i long so bad to know You.... to feel Your presence. So here i am Lord - waiting on You... please come.
My emotions have been like a whirlwind inside of me all day. I have shed many tears today before the Lord - some out of frustration, others out of complete fear, and still others because i long to be in His presence. I long for everything in me to be His. I want to be willing to drop everything that i am doing and go where He calls me. Wether that be while i'm in a movie theatre and feel the need to get up and leave....or if it be to wake up at a random hour in the middle of the night and pray.... or to stand up for something that i believe in no matter who is there and what they'll think of me... if it be to lift up my hands infront of a group of people - with tears streaming down my face... if that means walking this way while everyone else i know is walking the other way... if it means stopping this job or that degree and starting another... i long to know Him and be completely obedient.
I posted a while back with some things that i was struggling with - i have been thinking on those for a while. I feel like i have come to realize some things, but haven't been able to post about them yet.
I have never truly had to make a 'decision' in my life. I mean up to this point everything was kind of planned out for me. When you're a kid you kind of just follow where ever your parents take you. You go to elementary school, middle school, junior high, high school, and then for me - college. Even when it came to getting a job in high school - i never made the decision on my own... my parents had to force me by threatening to take away my car.
I remember trying to decide where to go to college. I guess it was the first and only decision i really made... although the ONLY place i looked was Ouachita. I never had an interest in any school or career or degree - never had thought about... never had to make a decision towards MYSELF up to this point. I just figured one day i would wake up and KNOW! i dont know maybe? My choir teacher talked about OBU all the time through out my years in her choir program... never did i have an interest in it. She took groups of people down to visit the campus every year - never did i go. I don't remember the day that i changed my mind.... could not tell you when it even came into the picture. All i know and remember is that we took a trip up there all of a sudden and i auditioned for the Dean of the School of Music. I don't know have a clue what my thoughts were or my motives of going to this school... Both of my parents went with me to my audition. I warmed up with a wonderful encouraging lady who eventually ( a year n a half later ) became my voice teacher and person who i could confide in. After i sang through my songs for the Dean and Choir Teacher, they took me into this office with my parents... we were sitting there waiting to hear if they were going to offer us a scholarship and if so, what that amount would be.
They announced the amount to us... it was the highest amount they gave to anyone. I was excited (because back then didn't have much confidence), but i had no clue about money. I didn't know anything about tuition cost and if this award would help significantly or what not. I was just excited that i got anything at all. After we left the office mom and I stopped to use the rest room. I was still completely lost i guess (i thought everything was good, YAY we got a scholarship) - i remember her telling me that i could not go to school there. I stood there confused, realizing that i wouldn't understand because i didn't comprehend the whole money situation. We got in the car and started to head home.
For the next few blocks my parents argued over wether or not we should turn around and go talk to someone about our situation. (o yeah, this school was out of state) To this day i can see myself sitting in the back seat unafraid, not worried.... i'm not sure if it was a peace from the LORD... I just know that i knew this is where i was going (because my God isn't worried about money). I guess part of me was certain. I didn't want to look anywhere else - i dont know if it's because i just didn't want to, or if it truly was the Lord through me.
We did turn around that day - we talked to my admissions counselor and ended up getting more scholarships... they were so helpful and willing to do whatever it took to get me to this school. I still don't know if i made the right choice to go to that school. I regret a lot about it. Not the school, but i guess myself.
I spent too much of my time worrying about my 'decison'... i didn't feel right about my major, the guy i was dating, the school i was at...
I had never had a responsibility... i didn't know the Lord as much as i lead myself on to believe... I had never had to make friends ...
With the situation with my ex ending, i once again had no say in the decision that was made.... Don't get me wrong - i'm thankful that my parents stepped in. Who knows where i would be right now... I just wish that i would have been mature enough to choose on my own. I was just so worried about everything - expecting it all to fall into place and make sense... but nothing ever went away. All the doubts were still there - with the relationship (and with school.)
I sat there a few weeks ago thinking about my past and where i was with the Lord right now. I was so desperate to hear from Him... i had heard so many people talk about 'hearing' Him and being completely 'certain' that this is where He wanted them. i wanted that for myself. I trust in God - i believe in who He is, completely - i know what He is capable of - i believe in His power...
I am afraid of myself.
I know that He can speak to me - i was afraid i was not going to recognize it... I know that He loves me - i was afraid i was going to ignore His love and His guidance...
I don't trust myself.
It's like i look at life and situations in 2 categories -
Somethings happen to us that are completely out of our control... such as miscarriages, lost loved ones, car accidents, getting sick....
Then there are situations where we must 'decide'.
Remember this is what i'm not GOOD at it... have never had to do it. I know that God has plans for me - plans for a hope and future... and He will finish those plans. But I also know that i have to be willing to listen to Him and i ultimately must choose what to do. What if i don't recognize His voice? What if i 'choose' the wrong thing?
I guess in the past i have always taken situation number 1 above and been okay with it. I'll just let it go and realize that it was or was not God's Will. But when it comes to me listening to His voice and then 'deciding' - I freak out.
From that moment on i changed the way i was offering up my prayers.... (through reading another woman's blog and feeling lead to do so). I am still very afraid, but am learning to WAIT. Continually telling myself that He WILL speak to me when He is ready... all i can do is seek Him over and over, and ask Him to open my Spiritual Ears so that i can recognize Him in whatever way He chooses to speak to me.
I don't want to box in Him - we are called to have faith like little children... i guess i'm just really really worried that i'm not going to hear Him... then i'm afraid that i expect to hear Him in the wrong way....
I realize that this post is probably not making much sense and is very random, but i ask for your prayers. I have been trying to step out on my own for the past 4 months. To rely on my Father and not MAN. I've been seeking His face more than ever before in my life. I'm still unsure of what He is telling me, but in my heart i kind of feel like i'm getting a certain answer over and over. Not sure if it's Him though. I just keep praying that He will continue to speak to me over and over, like He did Samuel, until i recognize that it's the Lord that is speaking to me...
So i type this asking for your prayers - to be sure of what the Lord wants me to do in this situation.... no matter how fearful i may be. I want to hear Him for myself so bad, make a decision, and feel certain that it was the Lord who spoke it to me...
I want to make a decision on my own, people....
I also have some more prayer requests to lift up - A guy came up to me at church last night asking about my major... i told him (General Studies) and he responded with this, "you are better than that... that's a degree for people who have no goals." I wasn't sure how to respond to that... what to think. i'm not sure if the degree i'm getting is the one that Christ wants me to pursue. It's been on my mind for a while (actually since my freshman year, yeah see- still there) It's my last year of school so it's kind of late to change, but if that's what He wants of me then i want to be obedient. I took the easy way out a year ago thinking maybe this is where He wants me, but now i'm not sure. I can see both sides in the situation... I know that even though i may have taken the easy way and made a mistake, this could be exactly where He wants me and just wants my trust when May comes that He will guide me and open the door for a job or what not.... I also know that He may want me to change no matter the issues of money or time, and that even though i may not feel smart enough, confident enough, or qualified enough - He could very well be calling me to pursue this other degree.... so i ask that if this is where He wants me and the exact degree that He wants me to have that i will find His peace and continue on trusting Him with my future... if not then i will be able to stand up, get loans for myself (because once this year is over, i'm on my own), and fall in love with what ever He calls me to do.
Also, my mother turned in her two weeks resignation today.... i know i haven't mentioned anything, so this is probably a total shock. She didn't want to let it out until it was a sure thing. She had been praying about this job for a while - she did one of those 'specific' prayers where she asked for a flat out sign and if it didnt happen then it wasnt His Will for her. It kind of bothered me, but if that's what she felt lead to do then i trust her. Turns out He far exceeded her sign that she was asking for... so she felt like she couldn't turn down the offer. This job is less than she is making in her current one, but she feels like it's where He wants her. Pray for His confirmation continually even though the decision is already made. I just want her to be happy! Her job won't make her happy, only Christ will... So i just ask you to pray for her with this new job and yeah - you get what i'm saying.
K well..... this entry has been all over the place. And i'm sorry for that - i need your prayers. I want to know my Savior so bad.... I want to know what it means to hear His Voice... His guidance... i don't want to feel stupid anymore - like i'm doing the wrong thing when everyone else is so strongly feeling something else.... AHH, if you just knew my heart and my mind - i can't even express it to you. I'm so tired of jumping off one side of the fence, guessing that maybe this is the right way. For once in my life, i want to be Megan (completely on her own), seeking the Lord, and then in return hearing His answer.
Thank you all for the influence you are having in my life. You do not realize it... truly. Good night for now. I love each of you.
Father, Creator, Lover of my soul, please draw near. You know me inside, You know when my heart is genuine. I can't come before you being anything else than flat out what you see in me. I can't fool you.... sometimes i feel like my heart longs to be real, but my head tells me that i'm not there. Take me deeper Lord. You don't want me to know all the details or even understand - you just want my trust and obedience. Father i need you. I need you to open my ears and my eyes so that i can find You.... see You.... hear You... know You. I love You Father. I recognize that you know exactly what i need - so please help me to recognize your voice and where you are calling me. I will go, i just need you to show me... please. Forgive me for the sin in my life. O God, i long so bad to know You.... to feel Your presence. So here i am Lord - waiting on You... please come.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Back to Hotness
Well we're home! I've already made two trips from the camper into the house... it's so hot! I'm trying to wait a little longer for the air condition to cool off the camper so i don't have to sweat so much unloading.
As i was waiting a friend called to ask me some questions about blogging. I was trying to help her figure out how to change her background and find a new cute lay out. I decided to change mine, but i'm not good at picking... haha! I need the full picture, so i have to choose one, view my blog to see if i like, then change if i end up hating... well you see i don't really know where i got the old one before i changed to this one! So it looks like i'm stuck with this til' i find a cuter one. I just get lazy and don't feel like looking through page after page of lay outs! I'm thinking this one just doesn't look like me... and i really say JUST too much! Have you noticed? Because i have... it's like those people who say like, and like and like, over and over and you get annoyed. Well i'm sorry for the JUST!
I found a new singer that i really like! I bought her cd while we were out shopping this week in Branson! I will be posting some lyrics to her songs whenever i feel the need...
I am continually amazed at God's Timing and Faithfulness! I will have to save everything that i mean by this for another post... it will take a lot of space! I love You Lord!
I need to go over my lesson for Sunday School in the morning and eventually finish unloading my things from the camper! JOY JOY JOY! Sunday school is a joy... but not unpacking! That's a pain in the REAR! I feel like i have a lot to say, but i'm going to wait for another day to post all that!
Thank you for bringing us home safely Father! I find myself more and more aware of You and in love with You... draw me deeper Father - so i can find You! Help me to recognize You and choose to be obedient where ever you call me to go and whatever you call me to do. Thanks for the Youngs - it's been such a joy to spend the week with them. Be with Erin as she spends her last few weeks in Japan. Prepare my heart and mind as i study the lesson for tomorrow morning. Take over Father! May Your Will be done in this class! I love You! -me.
As i was waiting a friend called to ask me some questions about blogging. I was trying to help her figure out how to change her background and find a new cute lay out. I decided to change mine, but i'm not good at picking... haha! I need the full picture, so i have to choose one, view my blog to see if i like, then change if i end up hating... well you see i don't really know where i got the old one before i changed to this one! So it looks like i'm stuck with this til' i find a cuter one. I just get lazy and don't feel like looking through page after page of lay outs! I'm thinking this one just doesn't look like me... and i really say JUST too much! Have you noticed? Because i have... it's like those people who say like, and like and like, over and over and you get annoyed. Well i'm sorry for the JUST!
I found a new singer that i really like! I bought her cd while we were out shopping this week in Branson! I will be posting some lyrics to her songs whenever i feel the need...
I am continually amazed at God's Timing and Faithfulness! I will have to save everything that i mean by this for another post... it will take a lot of space! I love You Lord!
I need to go over my lesson for Sunday School in the morning and eventually finish unloading my things from the camper! JOY JOY JOY! Sunday school is a joy... but not unpacking! That's a pain in the REAR! I feel like i have a lot to say, but i'm going to wait for another day to post all that!
Thank you for bringing us home safely Father! I find myself more and more aware of You and in love with You... draw me deeper Father - so i can find You! Help me to recognize You and choose to be obedient where ever you call me to go and whatever you call me to do. Thanks for the Youngs - it's been such a joy to spend the week with them. Be with Erin as she spends her last few weeks in Japan. Prepare my heart and mind as i study the lesson for tomorrow morning. Take over Father! May Your Will be done in this class! I love You! -me.
Friday, July 25, 2008
A B C D
Acrobats of China - We went to the Shangai Circus with the Acrobats of China last night for our Thursday Evening show. Those people are stinkin flexible and strong... O My Goodness! As we were getting in the car i announced that we should all go back to the camper and stretch. They make you feel SO out of shape. As i was watching the show i was amazed at how fast they were moving from thing to the next and how simple it looked for them. I started thinking in my mind how it should relate to life and the difficult times that we go through. You can clearly see that what they are doing is extremely hard and takes a LOT of focus and strength... the same with the valleys, struggles, and difficult times in our lives. People are going to be able to tell what you are going through is flat out difficult, but will they see how you handle the situation and wonder how you are getting through it so easily? Christ is our strength and if we learn from the past... we will be able to conquer everything that comes our way... Even thing stunts that look nearly impossible! Everything is possible through Him who gives me strength. Phil 4:13 OKAY so it seemed to make more sense in my mind - maybe you can think through that yourself.
Birds Bathing - This afternoon i was sitting in the swing talking to God... lifting up my worries, thoughts, frustrations, fears, everything in my life. As i was sitting there a bird came and stood in the little stream of water running down the center of this area of woods. It started sticking its face down in the water and shaking his head. I mean i guess Birds takes baths too right? Never really thought about it... or maybe he was playing? Whatever it was doing, i found it beautiful! Sitting there splashing around in the water, shaking his head, sticking its beak in and out of the water, flapping his feathers - I believe there are moments when God is showing us Himself in a new way... even if it's completely simple like this tiny bird in the stream! I want my eyes to be open to whatever way He chooses to show Himself to me!
Cherished Moments - Beck and I returned to the camper this morning from the Bath-house... as we were walking up we noticed our Mom's laying in the hammock. NO not the same one! haha! Each family has their own! Although smarty pants (william) decided to hook them up to the same tree! It kind of looked like a 'V'... they were tied to the same tree on one end and hooked to seperate trees on the other. The tree at the point - which both hammocks were sharing was NOT very sterdy looking to me. Anytime anyone got on there it would rock back and forth... that just wasn't looking too appealing to me! I had refused to get on the hammock all week, out of complete fear of it falling or the tree breaking. Oh and i forgot to mention, there are tons of trees here which is a good thing, but there are so many it's hard to find a clear spot to place the hammock. We had to put it over the driveway - yes, CONCRETE! So that there was enough space for them to swing without hitting any other trees around. That was another reason i wasn't feeling getting on that rig... that's a broken tail bone waiting to happen right there! Long story getting longer - Beck and I decided to climb up with our moms and sit for a second before we had to go inside.
I believe for mom it must have been like a trampoline because she just popped right up like nothing happened while i lay paralyzed on the ground. Beck was rolling in laughter, her poor mother cushioned her fall and in return got a bloody nose. Within a minute i already had a bruise on my toosh... it looked like a softball hit me. We all sat there laughing for about 10 minutes - like did this really just happen? It was stinkin HILARIOUS! No one was there except us... i wish that could have been on video. All i remember was listening to Mrs karen talking and then hearing this crack and seeing Rebecca turn her head like 'what was that noise'... then we were down. It all happened in about 1 second though. AAHH one of those had to be there moments. Atleast we know now 2 hammocks tied to the same tree cannot hold 4 people. And concrete is not a good cushion for your fall! We are each setting an appointment for the Chiropractor when we get back in town...
Dad's Dream - A couple of weeks ago, actually a few months, we were sitting at Apple Bee's eating lunch. Mom, Dad, Casie, and I started talking about Heaven and Christ coming back. Dad mentioned a dream he had... the time had come and all of God's Children were going up to Heaven. We were each inside this clear elevator looking thing traveling up towards the clouds... where you could see everyone around you. Only one person could fit in the clear case - which dad interpreted to mean that no one can be saved for you... each much choose on his own to believe in Jesus Christ. Although, you made the trip with your family.... each in your own clear elevator case thingy, yet grouped with your loved ones. As he was talking his eyes started watering - there are not many moments where i've seen my father cry. It touches my heart! It's so manly to me... He never finished the story - he told us that he would tell us later when he wasnt crying. Don't know why i shared that... it was just on my mind. I have spent the whole week around my mother and father - in VERY close living quarters... we've gotten to see things that normally aren't seen at home. I love it whenever my father is goofy! It's been such a good week! When we are at home it's like everyone gets caught up in there career, job, daily activities, then we come home eat supper and then it's like there's not much time loving on each other, and sharing.... chores are being done, books are being read, you know the case. This week no one has had ANYTHING they had to get done... We've been able to sit and relax with each other... a little too much for me! haha just kidding!
Anyways - we are On The Road Again in the morning! I'm ready to be home! I'm not looking forward to the car ride because my hiney and back are killing me from falling this morning... I hope you've had a great week also! Home Sweet Home, here we come!
Birds Bathing - This afternoon i was sitting in the swing talking to God... lifting up my worries, thoughts, frustrations, fears, everything in my life. As i was sitting there a bird came and stood in the little stream of water running down the center of this area of woods. It started sticking its face down in the water and shaking his head. I mean i guess Birds takes baths too right? Never really thought about it... or maybe he was playing? Whatever it was doing, i found it beautiful! Sitting there splashing around in the water, shaking his head, sticking its beak in and out of the water, flapping his feathers - I believe there are moments when God is showing us Himself in a new way... even if it's completely simple like this tiny bird in the stream! I want my eyes to be open to whatever way He chooses to show Himself to me!
Cherished Moments - Beck and I returned to the camper this morning from the Bath-house... as we were walking up we noticed our Mom's laying in the hammock. NO not the same one! haha! Each family has their own! Although smarty pants (william) decided to hook them up to the same tree! It kind of looked like a 'V'... they were tied to the same tree on one end and hooked to seperate trees on the other. The tree at the point - which both hammocks were sharing was NOT very sterdy looking to me. Anytime anyone got on there it would rock back and forth... that just wasn't looking too appealing to me! I had refused to get on the hammock all week, out of complete fear of it falling or the tree breaking. Oh and i forgot to mention, there are tons of trees here which is a good thing, but there are so many it's hard to find a clear spot to place the hammock. We had to put it over the driveway - yes, CONCRETE! So that there was enough space for them to swing without hitting any other trees around. That was another reason i wasn't feeling getting on that rig... that's a broken tail bone waiting to happen right there! Long story getting longer - Beck and I decided to climb up with our moms and sit for a second before we had to go inside.
Rhonda : "We were just talking about how we needed to get up and go get dressed."
Karen : "Yeah, but i can't now... it's moments like these that i cherish."
Snap, Crack, Pop, and a big Boom! Both hammocks came crashing down within 15 seconds of Mrs. Karen talking about Cherished Moments... appearently that moment was NOT meant to be spent IN the hammock, but instead ON the concrete.
Karen : "O no, i'm bleeding... i think i might pass out!"
Rhonda : "No No, don't pass out, come sit down. let me get some ice."
Rebecca : " hahahhaha" - breathe - silent laughter....
Megan : "o my gosh.. i can't move. That's definetly going to leave a bruise."
I believe for mom it must have been like a trampoline because she just popped right up like nothing happened while i lay paralyzed on the ground. Beck was rolling in laughter, her poor mother cushioned her fall and in return got a bloody nose. Within a minute i already had a bruise on my toosh... it looked like a softball hit me. We all sat there laughing for about 10 minutes - like did this really just happen? It was stinkin HILARIOUS! No one was there except us... i wish that could have been on video. All i remember was listening to Mrs karen talking and then hearing this crack and seeing Rebecca turn her head like 'what was that noise'... then we were down. It all happened in about 1 second though. AAHH one of those had to be there moments. Atleast we know now 2 hammocks tied to the same tree cannot hold 4 people. And concrete is not a good cushion for your fall! We are each setting an appointment for the Chiropractor when we get back in town...
Dad's Dream - A couple of weeks ago, actually a few months, we were sitting at Apple Bee's eating lunch. Mom, Dad, Casie, and I started talking about Heaven and Christ coming back. Dad mentioned a dream he had... the time had come and all of God's Children were going up to Heaven. We were each inside this clear elevator looking thing traveling up towards the clouds... where you could see everyone around you. Only one person could fit in the clear case - which dad interpreted to mean that no one can be saved for you... each much choose on his own to believe in Jesus Christ. Although, you made the trip with your family.... each in your own clear elevator case thingy, yet grouped with your loved ones. As he was talking his eyes started watering - there are not many moments where i've seen my father cry. It touches my heart! It's so manly to me... He never finished the story - he told us that he would tell us later when he wasnt crying. Don't know why i shared that... it was just on my mind. I have spent the whole week around my mother and father - in VERY close living quarters... we've gotten to see things that normally aren't seen at home. I love it whenever my father is goofy! It's been such a good week! When we are at home it's like everyone gets caught up in there career, job, daily activities, then we come home eat supper and then it's like there's not much time loving on each other, and sharing.... chores are being done, books are being read, you know the case. This week no one has had ANYTHING they had to get done... We've been able to sit and relax with each other... a little too much for me! haha just kidding!
Anyways - we are On The Road Again in the morning! I'm ready to be home! I'm not looking forward to the car ride because my hiney and back are killing me from falling this morning... I hope you've had a great week also! Home Sweet Home, here we come!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Spread Your Wings and Fly
Tonight we decided to cross over the street and do the Sky Coaster - experience Bungee Jumping and Sky Diving... Or so the sign says at the ride! You would think after doing it 3 times before while i was in High School that i would not be scared, but NO! I was probably more nervous tonight than the first time i ever rode the thing. No fear of heights or anything of that sort... my fear is of HUMANS! What if they forget something? What if they don't secure all the ropes and buckles? What if i fall out of my suit? What if the tiny chord that we are hanging from decides to snap? Anxiety was of the maximum tonight! I was a survivor though- along with Beck and Casie! Dad tried to shoot a video... so that retarted person you hear narrating would be my wonderful Padre! We did it at night time so it's kind of hard to see us... we look like a little white dot in the sky - then a big blur flying by.
Oh and yes- don't worry.... i made sure the guy checked my straps and made me double secure! He told me it was his first day on the job and he didn't really know what he was doing... You can hear Mrs Karen and dad talking about it as i chat with the guy about my future! Ha :) i guess you can say i was a little worried!
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