Friday, October 8, 2010

Oh Friday Night

Mom and Dad left around lunch time to head out for their anniversary weekend get-away! They'll be going to the Razorback/Aggie game tomorrow afternoon as part of their trip.

Brandon and Stacy planned a random trip all of a sudden late last night and should get in around 9 tonight. They are bringing a friend and (i'm assuming) going to the ETBU homecoming game on Saturday.

Casie and I are heading out super early tomorrow morning to head to the Baylor vs. Tech game. I decided a few weeks ago that it'd be a fun adventure and something different than planning for school every hour of my weekend. Now that this weekend is here, I am coughing, sneezing, aching, and still sound very male-ish. But go I must.

Mom found one of her Baylor t-shirts from college in her closet last night so I teased Casie and told her I was totally going to sport that at the game. Pretty sure they might disown me or leave me on the side of the road.

After I cleaned up my classroom, I finally made it home (at 6pm) to an empty house. You would think I enjoy the alone time since i'm surrounded by 18 very busy bodies throughout my week, but I think it's having the reverse effect on me.

It's hard to be still. It's hard to not be.

I found some friends from OBU who blog and read a few of their entries. I also found some other people whom I don't know and read their stories. Lots of tears. Lots of oh my gosh how in the world do you survive that moments tonight.

And then I found this post which pricked that little place in my heart that wishes to be transparent. I heard a testimony recently of a woman who has been through something i've been through. It was so good to hear her heart. Why? Because it's very similar to mine. Going through some things change you forever... and no one understands until they've been there too.

Why do we hide things? We are called to bear each others burdens. To lift each other up in prayer. Yet we live these pretend lives that make non-believers (and even fellow believers) think they are aliens because we are perfect and don't have problems. Not to mention, we make ourselves miserably comfortable, trapped in our fear of, gasp, being real to those around us.

I don't know about you, but often times freedom comes through surrender... and as i've learned recently, sometimes He asks for the surrender to be in public. open. Why, the better to be used by my dear!! How else will the world know about Him and His mercy and His healing and.... ah.

As I was laying in bed the other night I began to think about the many people in the bible that God used. The broken, the prostitutes, the sinful, the weak, the one who didn't want His name to be known...

so either we have a lot of people who are broken, sinful, weak, and even prostitutes who are not stepping out and sharing the best part of their lives - how He brought them from that to new Life...

or lots of people just really have it together.

Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. I don't have much more energy to say anything else tonight. I feel as though I should have all the words in the world, but i'm thankful that You know all of them and my needs before I even utter them. So I simply say Jesus, and trust that You hear my heart tonight. I don't know these people, but their stories completely tore up my heart as I read tonight..... be with them and their families. We need You. I need You. I want You. Your fullness, Your Life, Your Joy, Your security - YOU....

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