Wednesday, October 6, 2010

This is where I admit....

that I am not super woman.

If you know me very well at all, you know that I pick a part all things in order to try and understand what's going on. Some call it thinking too much. And on some levels, I agree.

When it comes to super woman... i'm so very aware of why I try to be her. And even why I get frustrated when i'm not her.

On days like today, i'm quickly reminded that I am not her and that I need Him all the time.... every day.... every hour... every second.

Especially days like today.

When my head hurts, my nose is stopped up, my throat is killing me, and the pitch of my voice is equal to that of a junior high school male hitting puberty.

When "Johnny" bangs his fist on his desk and says, "order. order." for no apparent reason other than he simply felt like it in the middle of my day.

Turns out my patience is super thin when i'm sick. I have no energy.

But that's no excuse. (Or so my super woman brain says.)

I know that it's okay to have off days and that it is my first year and i'm not expected to be perfect, but tell that to my brain and let me know how that one goes over.

I guess I just want to love. I want to be what they need and I didn't feel like I had enough to give them today. So I waited til' they left and cried. Poor pitiful me.

Totally not sure how much longer my immune system will hold up, so if you think about it say a little prayer for me. The year really is going great. I've gotten some really good evaluations and it blesses my heart to actually see the gifts He has given me. I'm just super tough on myself and need to relax sometimes.

And like my devotional said tonight.....

He is my hiding place. No matter where I am (whether at home or at school) I can run to Him and hide.... and admit that I am not super woman and need Him to be my strength and portion.

With the busyness of my first year it's easy to get lost and overloaded. I pray for the ability to stop during my hectic days and remember to ask Him to be my portion. How silly of me to forget.

Hope your week is going well!

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