Saturday, August 23, 2008

sisters

I can't sleep.... too many thoughts going through my mind. One being the fact that my sister is leaving this morning. (I say this morning because it's after 1 AM.) I really need to be getting a good amount of sleep because we have to get up early in the morning to get started on moving. But i can't seem to rest my thoughts.

I found this picture the other day while i was rummaging through the craft/storage room. It made me smile and brought back so many memories. I felt it was appropriate to share with you since Casie is leaving today.

I'll never forget the day this picture was taken. I don't remember a ton of things from childhood, but when i look at this picture, i can remember that day specifically.

We went up to the mall here in town and did that glamour shot deal with our mom. We thought we were something, lemme tell ya. We got to wear make up, jewelry, pretty sparkly clothes, fix our hair real big like mommy, and take tons and tons of pictures! I remember feeling special that day!

As i was laying in my bed trying to go to sleep i started thinking about all the things i would miss about my sister.

There is a bond that comes with sisters that you can't find anywhere else.... i'm going to miss that. I don't think i'd really realized it until i sat here tonight dwelling on all that we've been through together.

My sister is the one person that i can talk to and spill my guts with, knowing that she won't judge me or tell anyone else.

She is the one person that i can go number 2 infront of or with the bathroom door wide open and feel so comfortable doing it... haha :)

I'm going to miss feeling hurt, confused, afraid, like life isn't fair and being able to come stand in the bathroom and cry together.

I could talk to her like i can't anyone else.... no games, no sounding smart, no posing, just me.

She could always tell when something was wrong with me. Half of the time because i'd have tears streaming down my face. And she was the one person that could ask if i was alright and i wouldn't feel pressured or stupid.

She also knew when to leave me alone. She'd see me sitting there and would just sit in silence with me... sometimes the most comforting thing even though she probably never realized it.

We could look at each other and know what each other was thinking.... then bust out laughing.

I remember there were times when i would make her really mad and she'd be about to tell on me... i would start saying stupid silly random things to make her laugh... it always seemed to work. haha... it makes me cry sitting here typing it. I can picture us sitting in the bathroom - i did something and she got really mad... i started saying doo doo, toot, booger head (weird things that do not even make sense) and she would die laughing and everything was ok. sorry for taking advantage of you casie, but it's funny to look back on now.

She was always smiling and laughing. I wish i had that quality. It took a lot to get her down.

In all my years living with her it's never gotten crowded. I've never wanted to kick her out of the bathroom, out of this side of the hall way, or anything like that. We've always gotten along better than any sisters i've known. Growing up people always found it weird that we were sisters - we hardly ever fought so they thought we were friends. I don't know what the deal was... but now i realize how much of a blessing that is.

No one will ever be able to take the place of my sister.

I know that if something happened right now she is the one person i could call.... i could wake her up in the middle of the night and she'd let me talk... she'd let me cry - she'd even cry with me.... she would listen... she'd laugh... she would simply be there.

I've always wanted a best friend, but never really felt like i've had a true one. As i sit here tonight i realize that i had one right under my roof. Casie was everything i wanted in a best friend. Thank you for that!

I regret a lot of the things i did growing up, especially things from high school... simply because looking back now i realize how much she was paying attention. I haven't always been the best example. But i hope i've made up for that! I hope i've done atleast a little of my part as her older sister.

Casie, i know i haven't always been the best sister to you. I know that i've taken for granted the relationship that we have... but i want you to know that i love you. I love you more than you will ever know. I'm sorry if there were times when i wasn't there or times when i let you down, but always know that no matter what happens you can tell me.... i will be here just like you were there for me. I'm so excited for you about college (never thought we'd see the day huh?). I want you to know that you can become and accomplish anything that you want(no matter what you may feel or what anyone may say to you). Believe in yourself! You can do it! I'm always going to be here for you - to cry, to laugh, to talk, to vent, to listen, to encourage, to whatever. When i think about you i can't help but see a smile on your face. You were always smiling with those big dimples showing, haha! You never let life get to you. No matter what your friends did to you, you were always faithful on your end of the friendship. They will remember that (i know i do)! I'm praying for you! I love you, poo poo booger head!

I hope i can find a best friend one day who is everything that you are to me!

Thank you Father for my sister. Thank you for all of the memories. I am so blessed to have her in my life and the relationship that we have. Help me to cherish it even more from here on out. I lift up her first semester of college life to you. Be with her on this journey. Guide her exactly where you want her to go. We love You.

1 comment:

Brandon said...

That is really sweet. Casie told me to read this and it almost made me cry. You two are really lucky you get along so well. I would love to get along with my sister this well.