Monday, November 24, 2008

Thankful Day One

At MP3 rehearsal Sunday night there was a little girl on the front row crying. I squatted down infront of her and asked if she would like a drink of water. We took a walk down the children's hallway and used the fountain in that building. On the way over i asked if something was wrong. She started crying a little harder and then eventually mumbled out these words....

"I just can't sing like everyone else."

This is one of those moments where you want all of the right words to say. You want it to stick and mean something to her. You want to get the point across to her, but at the same time speak love and not just try to sound sweet and comforting.

I am usually not good at things like this. I want to be, but i try too hard and ruin the moment.

"Did you know that God made you that way on purpose? He did not make a mistake when He created you. And He wants you to sing anyway, and to even have fun while you're doing it. So you don't worry about it. You just go in there and have fun okay?"

The rest of the rehearsal i had anxiety... God, did i say the right thing? What if i didn't get the point across to her? Please let that take root and make sense to her. She's a child, but i know it's possible for her to understand.

That moment was meant for me too.... Isn't it funny how He works that way? It was like i felt her emotions in that moment. It was so neat. I wanted to love her, i wanted her to sing to the top of her lungs despite what others thought or how she felt about herself. It made me realize how precious the gift of singing is.... how truly blessed i am to have this gift.

Music is a big part of my life and family. It has been a battle for years. I never want it to be about me - i never want my pride to swell up or to perform for the sake of performing. (I had my moments back in high school and it makes me so angry now to look back on.) I genuinely want to worship the Lord. And i struggle on a daily basis to fight back the voices in my mind. I never want to take my voice for granted.

Have you ever really sat back and thought about yourself? I did not get a say in what my voice would sound like (speaking or singing). I didn't get to choose my hair color. If my nose was pointed or rounded. If my foot would grow to a size 8 or stay a size 5 for the rest of my life. He made each of us uniquely and if we try to be someone else we are ruining the surprise for everyone else.

I didn't get to choose what my voice would sound like. It is never okay for me to take credit for it. It's not mine to begin with. I am His, all i have is His. This is His voice and by singing to the best of my ability i'm simply giving back to Him what already belongs to Him.

There are so many people who only wish they could have the talent and gifts that you have. May we never forget how truly blessed we are. And never try to be anyone else.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made... Psalm 139:14

Praise Him. Give thanks to Him today for the way He made you and the person He created you to be.

I do thank you, Lord, for the gifts you have given me. Soften my heart even more. I am Yours, uniquely made for Your purposes. That's so neat to me. May i only use my voice to glorify You. And may i embrace who You made me to be instead of trying to be everyone else. Your favor is what i desire - i am here to please You and no one else. I love You.

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