Wednesday, November 26, 2008


The Wednesday before Thanksgiving is always reserved for putting up Christmas Lights. A few friends have joined us in years past (and that always relieves a little of the stress). It's always an interesting experience. As mom was praying over our lunch just before we were about to get started on this grand adventure, i added on to her amen with, "and help us be patient as we work together."

Family is often the hardest to get along with and to work with. I probably had the least amount of patience today. How retarted is that? I was the one that brought it up in the first place. That's probably why it was on my mind, because i needed to work on it the most. Each time something would come out of my mouth or cross my mind i would instantly hear myself..... "and help us be patient as we work together".

My brother and sister are Deen's (mom's side of the family) and i am most definetly a Kilgore (dad's side). Logic. That's where my patience runs short. I need things to make sense. I want them to be well thought out, organized, and to simply make sense. But i forget others do not have this desire nor do they have my brain or thought process. [This is where you insert the picture of mom, brandon, and casie.] (kidding!!!!)

Communication is key when you work together (or with relationships in general). I would ask a question and mom would say NO and explain to me the correct answer.... which would be exactly what i had said to her, but only worded differently. Which would make me even more frustrated. (I wanted to say, THATS WHAT I JUST SAID... and honestly probably did at some point.)

Have you ever realized how much that happens? Sometimes i think we (meaning you included) argue with people and come to find out we're argueing against the same thing. Finding out how to understand someone and communicate with them is a very hard task. It's not as simple as listening and then acting/answering. You have to remember that their mind isn't the same as yours. They may not process things like you do or it may take them more time to understand. So many factors come into play here. We aren't all the same. I think that's the beauty in it. Learning to work together, communicate, understand each other, and especially love. I don't think it was intended to be easy - what effort would that take on our part if it were?

So i didn't handle my words and body language exactly as i had wished, but i tried to fix them as soon as i realized how i was acting. My heart was being softened as we continued on. I don't want to get to the end of my life and realize that i didn't love my parents/family like i should have. That i didn't accept who they were (even the annoying parts that seem to have no logic). All of those things are apart of who they are and makes them unique. And i am called to love them despite whether or not it meshes with me and MY WAY of doing things.

Why can we go to a friends house and be sweet, loving, and patient.... but then we do the same project with our family and are not sweet, loving, or patient? What is the deal?

One thing i really enjoy are decorations for the Holidays. Christmas lights are so pretty to me. And the garland, christmas tree, stockings, wrapped presents, and yummy desserts. There are millions of people across the world who do not have the chance to experience a lighted christmas. We are so blessed to live in America. We take for granted so many little things - like our Christmas traditions. Yeah, they may be time consuming, frustrating, painful, etc. But it's always a pay off when you are done and get to enjoy all of your hard work. I pray that we will be more patient and thankful as we continue on with our traditions through out this Holiday season. There are those who never get the chance (in their lifetime) to experience all that we do (in one season).
But i also pray that we don't forget the real reason for the season. It's not about our traditions as a country or as a family... (although, we can and should be thankful for them.) Sometimes we get so used to living in America and having so much that we focus our time, energy, money, and hearts into things that don't matter at all. So i pray that we won't get so focused in on getting everything done perfectly, but instead pay attention to what really matters. Holidays can be stressful - there is no doubt about that! I pray we slow down and enjoy it this year.

Don't get frustrated so easily with the things that you should be the most grateful for.
Father, i thank you for the chance to experience a lighted Christmas. I thank you for the many traditions that we have. May they never become routine for us, but truly an enjoyable growing experience. Thank you for working on me and making me aware of where i need to change. May my heart be willing and ready to accept change. Be my motivation and strength - i need You. I love You.

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