Monday, April 28, 2008

interceding..... groans that words cannot express.

Romans 8:26-27
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

THANK YOU JESUS! I remember coming across this verse a year ago and thinking, "thankgoodness"... There are so many times in my walk with God that i'm emotionally drained, i dont have a clue what to pray anymore, but this verse makes me feel okay about that. I find myself praying the same prayers over and over, especially when it comes to things i'm struggling with. It's like God here i am again, lifting this up to you again.... am i praying the wrong thing? am i looking in the wrong places, what is it? I realize now that it's ok. I dont have the words to say, but my tears and silence will speak to the Lord, far beyond what my words could ever express. I am so thankful that the Spirit intercedes for me whenever i am weak.... It's ok whenever i feel helpless or unworthy, because i NEED a Savior, i need someone to speak on my behalf when i feel like i have nothing to give. I have become so aware lately of how unworthy i am, yet my Father's faithfulness doesn't depend on that. He is faithful and desires a relationship with me no matter how far away i go....

I desire so deeply to be in God's Will. To seek His word and find something new and interesting that He is speaking to ME.... to see Him working in my life and guiding me. I need my eyes opened so desperately.... I'm tired of dealing with the same struggles over and over, yet i find myself still in them week after week. It's one of those struggles that you dont realize you're doing - you can feel that you aren't where you're suppose to be, yet you dont realize what it is that you are doing.... somedays i'm like ok God it would be simple if it was something physically i was doing wrong, such as partying or being sexually impure.. because i know how to get that out of my life, if that were the case.... but it's something deeper within my mind and i dont know what i'm doing... so therefore i dont know how to conquer. I pray and try to lay this at Jesus' feet, day after day...that He will reveal to me whatever i am doing so that i can do a 180 and stop.... i still dont know what i'm doing wrong..... But i know that He has a plan and He is soveriegn and in Control.... i have to keep my head up and continue to seek Him and one day my eyes will be opened.... one day it will all make sense.... like Natalie Grant says - He will bring it ALL together! I can't wait until i get there.

Father i come to you now acknowledging that you are in control of everything. The past, the present and the future... you can bring it all together. the good and bad, all of my mistakes and turn them into something beautiful and use them for your glory. I know i am so unworthy of all that you do for me, but i thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for loving me. I so desperately seek your will for my life, i want to acknowledge whatever i am doing wrong and stop Father... but i can't seem to find it or understand it. Take away my confusion in a way that only you can Father. I need you. Open me up Father! I want to live for you.

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