i believe one of the reasons the Lord brought James into my life, was to show me what it truly means to seek the Lord. I think so many of us want God to be the center, the drive of our lives, yet we don't ever truly surrender and do whatever it takes to Know Him. One of the ways the Lord speaks is through His word... The Holy Bible. It's sad to say that it took the Lord speaking through a friend to make me realize how off track i was, but i thank the Lord for James.... not because of anything James did on his own, but because of the Lord shining so brightly through his life. I dont think James will ever understand the impact he has had on my life... i admire him - he reminds me more of Christ than anyone i know.
Through being friends with James we started reading together... not just the bible, but Christian fiction books. I get so excited whenever i'm listening to a sermon and i can make connections, or i know how a story is going to end... i'm like I know THIS ONE...
James bought me Unashamed, the story of Rahab by Francine Rivers- and i just finished it. I kind of got sad when i realized i was done... i turned the last page, felt my heart drop, and said NO. I have read more books within the past year than i have read all 20 years of my life. Thankyou Father for using James to speak to me... thank you for his friendship and the life that he lives so boldly for you.
I gotta share a little that's on my heart from this book... i just have to!!!! Rahab lived in Jericho and the Israelites were coming to take/conquer the land (Jericho). She was a prostitute but took in the two israelite spies who came to seek out the land before their attack. She protected them from the King and made an agreement with them to spare her life from harm on the day the Lord had chosen to take over the Land of Jericho.....
this book is Francine Rivers' interpretation of the story, she explains Rahab throughout the story as a woman of true faith. She had lived in Jericho, been a prostitute, seen people worship man made idols and put their trust in things that would never save them..... But she had a burning desire inside her heart to know the God of Israel - she knew that He must be real, yet she had never even seen the work He had done with her own eyes.... I want to be like her. I feel like so many times in my life, i need a sign or some kind of vision or yes from the Lord to act and know what to do.... I want to trust in the Lord and have Faith like Rahab.
Rahab eventually marries Salmon... which through their family lineage comes the Messiah! Salmon in Francine's book was one of the spies who came to seek out Jericho, whom Rahab took in. From the moment he met her he was amazed by her faith and trust in a God whom she'd never physically seen with her own eyes.... yet she wanted to be apart of His people and would do anything - even going against the King of Jericho, to Know Him. Salmon loved her for who she was in God... He found her the most attractive and beautiful woman he'd ever seen because of God shining through her. O man - my eyes still fill with tears as i type..... whenever i read that i was like O God be my eyes! I cannot wait until God opens my eyes to see the man who he has prepared for me. But i don't just want an awesome Godly husband, i want to BE that awesome Woman of God, the Woman of Faith.... I want to look at my husband and to see God in him, and everything else just fade away. I want a marriage built on God, one that stands through every storm that comes, one that still holds hands when we are 80 walking through walmart.
Father i come to you now thanking you for brothers and sisters in Christ. I thank you for their interpretations put into books in ways that draw us near to you. Thank you for Rahab and her life. God i desire so deeply to love like you, for you to change my eyes, i want to love my husband like you Father... i want to look at him and see you and be so stinkin in love with him. I cannot wait for that day Father.... help me to become the Woman that you want me to be. Prepare me for my husband. Help me to be patient as i wait for you to bring us together. Open my eyes to see him and recognize him. Father i need you so bad. I'm so scared right now as i journey through this valley, each day is different, challening, and scary... Father please help me to recognize you and your voice, i'm SO desperate for you and your wisdom. O God i need you, i dont know how i ever thought i could do things my own way. Show me how you speak to me... show me you. Help me to fall so deep in love with you and with the desires that YOU have for me. Keep me aware of the enemy.... Father shelter me under your wings... i need you. i love you. i cannot wait for you to reveal the plans you have for me. Make over my heart, my life, my eyes, my everything Father. Be my strength on the days when i don't feel like i can go anymore. Dont let me do this MY way.... carry me Father. I pray for my husband wherever he might be, whoever he is.... Prepare his heart, draw him near to you, help him to fall in love with you and desire you more than anything in his life. lead us to each other, so that we can better serve you together. Thank you Father for who You are!