She sits down at the piano and proudly grabs her book. Pages so worn they are falling out. "Can you play the piano?" her friend asks in a very interested tone. She sets the book down, places her hands on the keys and gets ready to show off her skills as her friend watches intently. Her head down, softly singing along as she plays. Not once did she even look up at the page. Was she doing it by memory? It sounds great. "It's the only song I know" she admits humbly as she releases the last chord.
I realized a lot about my life through this story. The pages to my Wake Up The World book are very worn.... even falling out. I can play one song by memory; even sing along. Never before have i been able to sing and play simultaneously- much less play to begin with. But there's just one thing.... it's the only song i know. Sure it sounds great, but that's only because i've hacked through it day after day knowing that i can successfully pull it off.
I tend to tackle life this way. Doing the same things over and over because i know that i'm good at them.
I'm afraid of trying new things. I feel very very inferior and often sale myself short. I guess i don't believe in myself. Randomly i'll have a really good day and do something totally unexpected. Like the day i sat down and played through this song. It was odd. I learned it very quickly and even smoothly. There were no bumps on the road that slowed me down or made me feel incapable of reaching my destination. It just kind of happened.
From that day on i continued to visit the piano and sing through my song. Everytime i got the chance i wanted to do it over and over and over; to the point that the song was pretty much rock solid.
Every now and then i'd venture off to the next song in the book, but the experience wasn't nearly as smooth. I'd struggle through the song for as long as i could stand and then i'd eventually give up.
You know you can do this. You did it on the other song. It just may take a little longer. Don't give up. Sit back down and finish.... even if it sounds terrible and takes you 10 minutes.
I don't pursue things. I dream and that's it for me. I make lists and plan and then that's the end of the pursuit. I don't know why i can't carry things out. I guess i don't know if i can do it... so instead of attempting to find out, i just stop before i make a fool of myself. I mean what if i look like a failure? What if i hate it? What if so in so is watching? She knows what she is doing, she's SO good at it... What if she has high expectations? What if i'm not as good as her? What if...
I've learned the "what if's" are very dangerous.
They trap you and keep you from moving forward.
I can continue to play the same song over and over.... it'll sound great, i'll look like i know what i'm doing, it'll be smooth and easy, i'll be safe inside my comfort zone knowing exactly what i can handle, and people may even enjoy it.... but growth only comes from doing things beyond what we've already mastered.
We may fail. We may make a complete fool of ourselves. We may fall flat on our faces. And people may totally hate it. But we may also do great.... and there is only one way to find out.
Try. Go for it. Just do it. (even if it's to find out that you hate it and never want to do it again)
It is never about the outcome. It's about who you become through the process.
We will never learn anything (about ourselves, others, life, God, etc) unless we go for it. He never promised that every situation would be smooth and graceful.
It's about finding what He has created you for. It's about falling in love with Him. It's about embracing who He created you to be. It's about learning to fall in love with the process. Who knows - you just might find the one thing you were gifted to do!
Will you embrace every moment and opportunity that He has given you - win or lose? smooth or bumpy? Or will you stay exactly where you are - repeating the same tasks that you know you can conquer?
Don't worry about who's watching. Don't think about the outcome. Don't even wonder if you can do it. Just let Him be and see what happens. You never know what He is doing, what He is teaching you, what He is preparing you for. Don't miss the blessing because you're too afraid to try.
He knows what you can become....