Saturday, January 24, 2009

School, Shock, Subbing, Sleep

So i've moved back over to the Music Building this semester. 3 out of my 4 classes are Music classes. I actually have the same teacher back to back, but i really really like his class. He is a very 'hands on' kind of teacher. We have not had a day yet where he doesn't make us do something to incoorpate what we are learning. Why have the other professors on campus not caught on?

The class is Music for Elementary Education. On Tuesday we sat in a circle and saw how you can teach a reading lesson by using music. The professor read the book 'Black Bear, Black Bear' (what do you see?).... he created a beat to it and spoke it in rhythm. We each had instruments and would play them while he read..... then he would randomly blow the whistle and we'd pass the instruments to the right or left and switch with our neighbor.

He then had a box that was called his "box of disorders". We went through each disorder and saw how it could affect what you are trying to teach.... and then we worked through how you handle the situation, how you could improve what your doing, how to help that student learn, etc. It was SOOO interesting to me. I came home and told my mom all about it.

My next class (with the same teacher) is Instrumental Methods. We are learning how to play the guitar, recorder, and orff instruments. Not only do we have to learn how to play these instruments, but we have to be able to teach someone else (particularly a student) how to play them. I was nervous when i signed up for the class.... i mean, playing infront of people? learning infront of people? teaching infront of my peers? DO HUH?

But it's been great. I never thought i would enjoy it this much, but i'm really loving it. And what's great is that i don't know anyone really well in this class... i work better that way. And what's really odd is his whole hands on groupie stuff twists my brain and i catch myself interacting with people. Tricky tricky!

I think i've just been so consumed with the past 3 years that i haven't truly been myself. I hate that people have only seen the doubty insecure anxious worry freak part of me that has flared of because of my circumstances. I want so badly for people to want to be around me, to see the funny me again, the me that really can be fun/cool and even make you laugh. SOOO yeah, i'm enjoying these new faces. These people who have no preconceived ideas or expectations of me.

I went to eat with some college girls Thursday evening also. Aren't you proud of me? I even asked if they wanted to head back to the dorms and play games. My mother was SO shocked. "You asked them to play?" haha!! It was a blast! We even had the girls in the room below us come up and tell us we were being too loud. OOPS!

Friday morning I had the opportunity to SUB. It was a second grade bilingual class. It was only for half a day so i figured i could survive the language barrier. I was told that i would have an interpreter in the classroom with me which made zero sense to me - why can't they sub? what exactly will i be doing? i need a purpose...

Whenever i got there i found out there would not be an interp. which is actually what i wanted. I work better without someone watching me - something to do with inferiority. The job was at my mom's school which i am so thankful for. I think that took a lot of pressure off. I was more calm knowing that my mother was in the same building and literally a panic button away. One little push on that thing and a familair voice answers on the other end.

I woke up at 5:30 to begin my day.... and can i just say, i do not remember the last time i woke up before the sun was even allowed to appear. Probably not since All-Region days back in High School. Anywho, it was a great first day. I know that i can do this, i'm just learning to have courage - which is really hard for me at times.

Friday afternoon after i got done subbing i ate lunch with my mom and sister in the teachers lounge, and then picked the kids up from school at 3. The effects of my early morning were beginning to show. I knew i had to keep myself busy or i would doze off on the couch.

Saturday i slept in. It's so hard to get up when i know that i don't have anywhere to be. I can wake up early - it's not a problem for me. The problem is making myself get out of bed when i know that i am not needed or have nothing to do. But i'm determined to conquer that - it's all about the mind. lol

The secretary at my mom's work is a friend of ours... she sent an email out to all the teachers at their school to tell them i was subbing this semester. Now all of these people are requesting me. TERRIFYING!!! But i'm so thankful. So my calender is getting filled in - and i'll let you know my thoughts as i continue on. I do have more from Friday, but i'll share those later. Those kids need love - it's incredibly sad and heartbreaking.

We bought a new game for Wii this week. Dance Dance Revolution! And we are ROCKIN! We had some friends over to play tonight! The men were having a competition to see who could make the best grade. And i know it'll be hard for you to believe and accept this, but.... dad won. (You should come over and play... name a time - we'll be ready!)

Well, i need to head to bed. Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend! Love you!

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