Thursday, May 1, 2008

day by day...

I have had the joy of picking up Zoey and Levi from school this semester... now i usually only get Levi on Fridays and with holidays, grandparents intervening and so on, there have only been a few fridays where i've actually had to keep him. Me and Zoey surprised him yesterday and picked him up early to go to the park... his mom figured it was a lovely day and he would enjoy the adventure!

So off we went to the park! I've really struggled with him, trying to be consistent in what i say... not letting him walk all over me. This isnt just something i struggle with with children, it's through out my life... i lay low and just kind of let things flow... i dont want to cause a ruckos... so if that means just letting people be happy, i'm all for it! SO NOT GOOD! haha I am worried about keeping him everyday this summer... instead of just having him a few fridays out of a semester, i will have him everyday, from 7:45 - 5 ish... I have to learn to be the boss... to say a command or rule and stick with it. I have to show him that he is not in control. this is tough for me.... dont ask me why, who knows. BUT i used the park experience to test it out.

I told him when we were getting out of the car, that we MUST leave whenever i said it was time to go.... of course he says "okay!" and off he goes to play. clearly not satisfied with the playground, he insisted on going over to the creek to play in the water and climb.... should have known. I finally told him alright we'll go over to look at the creek. We get over there and i told him he had to stay up on the grass, do not get in the water... he argued for a while, but i stood my ground. he gave up for a few minutes, then came back at me with, "my papaw let me." So i calmly said, "well Levi this is our first day at the park with me, i am not your mom, dad, or papaw.... so we are going to stay on the grass, and if you decide to go down any farther, we will go home." That was all it took! He didnt seem satisfied anymore with the creek, so i tried to make the play ground seem exciting! "Levi let's go play on the play ground." he replies, "i want to, but i want you to play with me." So of we went... we swang for a while and did a few other things... then it was time to go. I told him it was time to go and he was not happy. So i said, you may each quickly pick one more thing to do, then it's time to go. so he picked the play set that had about 20 things to choose from... do i look 4? i'm not stupid! So i followed him as he kept doing more and more things, calling his name. I said Levi Stovall, it is time to go... turn around and come down the slide the right way.... he finally listened and we went home.


We get home and he runs in and gets milk... i offered to help him, but he insisted on pouring it himself. So i acted very surprised and amazed that he could do it himself. he was very proud to show me how grown he was in pouring his own milk. then i hear "okay, you put it up."

I quickly fixed that one... politely i might add. he tried to win and make me do it, but i left it on the counter. I told him, he could put up his own milk, and i would gladly hold the refridgerator door for him. He gave in! It's going to be an interesting summer! But i'm looking for the Lord. This is where He has me... no time to sit and mope... so here i am, to learn more about parenting kids.

I caught my heart breaking as we were at the park... so many parents and kids there, each one interacting very differently. Some mothers were totally neglecting their kids, as i freak out watching them wander off. There was one lady there who had an older mentally challenged girl with her... it broke my heart the way she spoke to her. She was very rude! But you know what amazed me.... the mentally challenged girl always had a smile on her face! How come that's how it always seems... the people with the disabilities are the ones who are always smiling, excited to be whereever they are, interested in YOU being right there with them, enjoying life.... that breaks my heart! I don't physically have anything wrong with me, yet i can sit here and list off all these things that are wrong with me... she was very happy, walking all alone with a humongous smile on her face! May my eyes be opened to see what the Lord has blessed me with and be ever grateful for all the opportunities that He has given me!

I got asked to help out with the Day School at IBC today. I was assigned to one kid who had special needs... they were bringing in a specialist to screen him and try to figure out what exactly was his problem. I was very nervous, i had never dealt with anything like this before. But i continually asked the Lord to help me through out my day with him. He had given me this opportunity today, and little Denny was who i needed to give all my attention to....

I catch myself worrying about where i will be in a year... with graduation and all... yet all God wants me to do is take it day by day. Give the Lord my all, and leave the results up to Him... He will provide for me... just like he did today! School got out yesterday and here i am today, given the opportunity to sub at a day school.... I need to trust in my Father, He will provide for me...

This is getting long... i better go!

Matthew 6
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life..... look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

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