Monday, June 16, 2008

sleepy sleepy....

Some girls decided to stay over last night, the decision was made around 8 o' clock. I had planned on going to sleep around 10 or so, i knew i would need a good amount of sleep with it being VBS week. Let's just say that did NOT happen! Around 1:10 a.m. i said, "YALL we are going to DIE in the morning... we HAVE to go to sleep!" We all trecked upstairs, but the laughs and conversations continued on for a while in bed. (i believe dilerium had hit a few folks!) This week is a pretty busy week! On top of doing VBS from 9-12 i still have Zoey and Levi in the afternoons... although this week we have an extra kid - Monday through Wednesday we have a 10 year old boy with us, and then Thursday and Friday we have a younger boy joining us. Casie also got asked to house sit for a friend, which means i will be staying the night with her! Mom wasn't too cool with her staying in a house all alone! OOOooo whenever your body is maxed out, and sore, you just crave your own bed.... but that will not be happening this week! O poor pitiful me! haha!

After VBS this morning, the kids and i had lunch, then we watched about an hour of tv! I was about to fall asleep sitting there, so i decided to start putting some people in swimsuits and applying sunscreen. By 2 o' clock we were out the door, and headed to the pool! I was planning on reading while the 3 of them entertained themselves, but i decided to put on my swimsuit in case i got too hot! Good thing i put that thing on!!! Zoey jumped in at one point and china decided to go in with her (on accident)... she was underneath the floaty, paddling for life... i didn't have time to De-flipflop, or unlayer my clothes... so i just jumped in with everything! I know it's not like she's my kid or anything, but in that moment i felt like she was! I was sitting there afterwards, replaying the whole thing and i was like, ' you know what? i never once thought about how cold the water was going to be, never tried to stop and take off my clothes, i just threw down what i was doing and jumped right in. and i was completely calm!' I know that may seem and sound SO stupid, but it made me think about being a mom! There are going to be times, when you just REACT because something is happening to your child, and it was nice to see that (even in this scenario with my dog) i was completely calm about it! I always wonder if i will have what it takes to be a mom! My heart longs to be that, and it's probably going to be a few years before that happens. Ever wonder why God gives you certain desires SO early, but then you feel like it's going to be YEARS until they are fulfilled? GROWTH! I guess that's why... i have so much more growing up and learning to do! But i can't wait! It's going to be beautiful!

The girls that stayed the night were 2 girls from the youth group at church.... we talked for quite a while, voicing our opinion on certain situations/things. I sat there trying to decided what was considered gossip? What was appropriatte to say, and when should you hold your tongue? It wasn't as if we were dogging people, or telling dark hidden secrets that we knew about others... we were simply stating what we thought about situations and how people handled them. But my head, or heart(?), was struggling with it. I just kept wondering if it was wrong.... I prayed for the right things to say, although i know i failed in certain areas. At one point, I encouraged the girls to write a letter to this person, sharing what they would like to see done or changed within 'this' group. It frustrated me to hear some of the things that i heard last night, but i guess that's what the world is coming to. SAD! I love home, i really really do, i like my bed, and i like the comfort here... i LOVE the church i attend, i look forward to seeing certain people every Sunday, and totally embracing the opportunities the Lord has given me... but i do NOT like this town. I don't want to live here when i'm graduated, married, and especially not with my kids. What if the Lord decides He wants me here? I guess i'll have to get my heart right?! I just want to experience other places!!! I'm thinking Washington sounds like a pretty awesome place to live! Never been there, just heard James talk about it over and over.... everytime i see a picture i'll ask him, "is that what Washington is like?" and he says, 'No! Washington is SO much better!" haha - don't know if that one will happen for me though! Seeking the Lord for Guidance!

I love you Father! Thank you for all the kids that came to VBS today, i pray for all of the workers, and everyone who will be attending tomorrow. Prepare our hearts, help us to worship you! We do this all for Your glory and to know You more! Be our strength and rest this week as it is going to be tiring! We need you Father. Direct me in your paths Father... show me where You want me to go! I am waiting on You! Love You!

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