unloading before bed.

I have so much on my heart and mind. I don't even know where to begin or how to explain it all. Here is my attempt...

First off - Sunday School. Ran a little over, but i guess that's alright. My number one fear when teaching is being asked a question to which i don't know the answer. When i first started preparing the lessons, i was like "God i don't even know all the background history or even understand all of this... what if they ask me something and i don't know how to answer it? or what if i try and give the completely wrong answer? What's going to happen to me?" I knew all the Jesus/Sunday school answers that sounded good - you know the ones that EVERYONE knows! But i didn't know like in depth things, i couldn't explain something to you! Amazingly God is still in control like His word promises. All the religion classes i have been taking at school have come in so handy during Sunday School. I Never even realized it back when i was signing up for these things.... just trying to get my credit and graduate. But God always has other plans, huh? I mean i know that everything we are apart of He is preparing us or using us, but i guess i always think like WAY in the future. Like Oh' one day i will use this to glorify God! But never did i think of it being used right WHILE i'm going through it.

One of the girls had a very confused look on her face... I asked her if what i just said made sense and she shook her head no. GASP! No, i was calm and sat there and tried to find another way to explain it. I was trying to define what a Mediator was, and how Jesus Christ is that for us.... only because of His death. She wasn't understanding! I finally found a way to say it to her, but i don't know if she was just being kind so i would stop digging my whole deeper, or if she really understood. As i was sitting here reading my bible tonight it was like the light came on and i knew exactly what to say! For goodness sake, i had read it in another book earlier that week. See i wish i could run my Sunday School lesson over a jr high kid, then they can ask me questions or tell me what doesn't make sense, then i could study up and be prepared for the questions.... get me?

The youth group is gone to Youth Camp this week, they leave tomorrow morning. I'm thinking next Sunday we won't move on to the next lesson. Instead, i will start way back in the beginning with the Garden of Eden and explain how sin came into the world and seperated us from God.... How He sent His son into the world to die for those sins.... and now Jesus Christ is the Way - the Mediator between us and God and we will be reunited with Him. I will go into depth and possibly read some passages from this book, to try and help this girl understand! I just feel like i need to make sure she gets it. Then with the time we have left over, the girls can each share what they experienced at camp. What do you think?

Secondly - well i will have to save that for another blog. For many different reasons.... spent a lot of time reading God's word tonight, trying so hard to search for His voice and truth! I'm not quite ready to unload everything, but i will! Because i need some fellow sisters in Christ to encourage, rebuke, counsel, whatever is needed. Love you all! Good night (or morning, it's 12:25 AM)!

Father i come to You now thanking You for this day. I thank You for each of the girls in my sunday school class and lift their week at camp up to You. Bless each of them Father! Be with our class time each Sunday morning, meet with us Father, be in control, amaze us! Keep the Youth group safe! I beg you to continue to grab ahold of me, be my foundation, set me on the solid rock... show me your truth! Open my heart, eyes, and ears Father - don't let me miss it. I don't want to be ever seeing and ever hearing, but not perceiving or understanding. I know that the storms are going to come, the voices, the waves, the wind, but you promise that if we seek You, we will get through it. I need You Savior! I cry out to You and You alone! I love You! Take control of my life, Be Soveriegn!